Getting worse again

I just can't freaking seem to get better. Every time I start feeling somewhat normal, I end up regressing and getting worse again. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, but it's so frustrating. I was down to one BM a day again, and I woke up this morning with D and ended up going 3 times. And I can't deal with the exhaustion right now, I have two jobs and way too many bills to pay, and my car keeps breaking down.

I have no idea what the hell to do...I can't afford to be sick and can't seem to fix it. And I'm so freaking tired lately.

I can totally empathize- same with me, things go alright for a while, then backslide.... nothing changes, meds are the same, diet is the same, stress level is the same. I disagree that being overtired is making you flare- I think you're tired because you're flaring! It puts a great drain on your body. Anyway, what about the biologics? Have you spoken with your GI about trying Remicade? I don't know your insurance status... Or 6MP/Imuran may be an option too. I'm sure they're cheaper than the biologics! Yes, do try to get as much rest, but know that you are not doing this to yourself. I'm sorry- it sucks to be in this position!

I'd agree it at least appears from your post that you have too much on you and aren't getting enough rest and taking care of yourself. This is a tough thing for Type As to face up to, but when you're chronically ill with something as serious as UC, it will be very difficult to achieve remission if you're not getting enough rest, reducing stress, eating healthy and taking the very best care of yourself. While you're flaring, I just don't believe you can continue to function at the level you did prior to your diagnosis. Working two jobs is exhausting, even for those that are well. Tough steps may need to be taken, as Burli suggested. Lifestyle changes, mental adjustments and learning to ask for help may be necessary.

On the other hand, healing from a condition as serious as UC is a long journey. It's normal to get frustrated and impatient, but often the healing process is an upward spiral, not a straight and steep upward slope. You're going to experience "off days" and there will be times you can attribute them to something and times they'll seem to have no explanation. You have to look at the big picture. If you're generally improving and your setbacks are milder and/or farther apart, you're making progress.

I actually felt somewhat better today: maybe it was just a fluke or something. Still worried though.

Old Hat: I'm trying. I'm considering asking to drop one of my shifts at my night job next week, but I really do need the money. =(

Eva-I think it's both ways. The flare and the pred both tire me out, but because I'm so tired from working all the time, I don't get a chance to heal. Not sure if I want to have to start the heavier meds yet, I've not even been diagnosed a year.

Burli-There really isn't a whole lot I COULD cut. I live with my parents (would KILL to be able to move out), the only thing I own of any value is my computer. I could sell a few games but they probably would not amount to more than 100 bucks. Most of my money goes toward my student loans, phone bill, and car insurance, along with medical costs. I also got a very expensive speeding ticket in October, when I was working for ten bucks an hour and driving an hour and twenty minutes to get there. My current jobs don't pay much either, one is 8.50/hr and the other is 12/hr. The only thing I really spend on is food: I'll have to grab food between jobs or I'll eat out with my boyfriend when I see him. And my job is only like 15 minutes from my house by car, so taking the bus would actually be harder and involve 2 or so transfers.

princesa-I can't really ask for help. I have no one able to give it. My parents are both unemployed and I'm already mooching by living with them.

quincy-I'll try. Maybe my resolution should be to try to do less.

Sorry to hear this. I wish I were as rich as Bill Gates, so that I would donate to such patients, or fund more research labs. Or, I wish I were a PhD doing a UC research. But sorry, I am a poor guy because of the darned UC, and can only say some words to relieve your pain. Sometimes, I hate myself in that why can't I get completely recovered and then help others. I have a bit to add. Try to practice some natural/inexpensive 'medication', like drinking warm water, massage, stress managment, etc. For a UC patient, money/job is needed but hard to get. Also, I place hope on the gene-related research. It may bring some effective medication after 20 years, even 10 years.

Burli-Thing is, I spend barely anything on clothes, shoes, etc. The only things I've bought for myself since probably August are some clothes I needed (all from target or walmart) and one video game. And when I say I needed them...it means I had nothing suitable in my closet. The ONLY thing I ever spend money on is food. The rest of it has been meds, gas, and the other bills above. And I do have a degree, but with the economy the way it is, it hasn't done much so far.

As per insurance, I have COBRA, but my dad's company has tried to cancel coverage on several occasions and they refused to pay for the anaesthesia on my scope last march, which I just got hit with. I was also paying out of pocket for drugs til about June. The temp agency I'm working at offers insurance after a month, but I only have that job for 3 months probably soooo...

Againstodds and saposs-Thanks.

Is there any way to borrow any money? I know it sounds strange. Economic crisis may go away in a couple of years, and then you will get a more paid job.

Burli-I'll try that...making sure everything is covered beforehand. Thanks.

Againstodds-I've already borrowed too much between my credit card and student loans. I can't afford more debt, I'm trying to get out of it.

Elephantpipe-I have never heard of Aldi's. What are they? Honestly I've never tried meditating, how does one usually go about it? And thanks.

What I meant was to borrow some money from friends or your parents' friends, or relatives. I know this is not a good idea, as borrowing money is something 'out of mind'. However, not all UC patients must go through a never-remission process. You may keep it in remission for 2-3 years 5 years later, when you can make money to pay off. Right now, from my point, you need to peel off stress as much as you can and rest as much as needed. Even 20 years later, you will be just 42. Who knows if there can be any new medication by then? Do not be hard on yourself. Try every effort to get financial support.

ElephantPipe: I usually do my shopping at farmers markets or shop around if I'm buying food in addition to what my parents get, so I do try to get the best prices. I also do the whole coupon thing.

Againstodds: My other relatives are either stingy, hate me, or don't have the extra money. My parents don't really have a lot of friends, and the ones they do have I don't like or trust.

Burli-That sucks. I'm really bad at the play dumb/act helpless thing though. Most I've ever been able to do is cry about being broke.

Feeling kind of yo-yoish. I feel like I'm bouncing back and forth between getting better and regressing. It's confusing me. Still no blood, which is is good, but nothing else is consistant. Thanks for asking though.

And I understand your intentions and where you're coming from, so it's no biggie.

Quincy-I actually have my Lialda upped to 4xday, I haven't changed it in my sig yet though. Whoops.

I have loans through both the federal program and through a state higher education assistance program. I'll consider it.