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Bloody stools, bloody valentine and bloody men

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 2/7/2010 5:47 PM (GMT 0)
I'm venting,

22 years no flare ups nothing then i give up smoking and 6 weeks later the mother of all flare ups start.

To top it off my boyfriend has basically dumped me after 4.5 years, his reason he can't handle the situation.

So here i am 42 left on the shelf this side of Valentines and UC STINKS (literally)

Enough Vent

Posted 2/7/2010 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
Awww I'm sorry to hear that! My reasoning is if someone can't take the bad with the good then maybe that person wasn't meant to be in your life in the first place.
Posted 2/7/2010 6:33 PM (GMT 0)
If he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best.  I know that doesn't make your heartbreak any easier to bear but it's true. Sending you a big hug.
Posted 2/7/2010 9:50 PM (GMT 0)
At least he admitted it. Not all can handle health issues in partners'/spouses' lives. It doesn't make the hurt any less, however.

Buy something for yourself and celebrate love for yourself....you have to be your best friend.

Relationship breaks are very difficult to deal with....I hope you have meds to help you through it.

Congratulations on quitting smoking!

Hang tough, the ride will be bumpy!
quincy
Posted 2/7/2010 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
Well said Quincy, BCgirl and Red ! I agree whole heatedly : )
Posted 2/7/2010 10:51 PM (GMT 0)
Well thanks all of you for your words, just a quickie for BC girl are you anywhere near Vancouver i was on holiday there last summer and hope to go again after the olympics
Posted 2/8/2010 3:02 AM (GMT 0)
Man that sucks! *hug* It hurts me when I hear that people do that.

Sometimes when people quit smoking they flare up. Maybe invest in some nicotine lozenges or something? There's a thread going on about e-cigs right now too. I mean I don't want you to start smoking, just giving some safer alternatives you might consider. I hope you start feeling better!
Posted 2/8/2010 2:20 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah, I'm sorry about the breakup and flare too loopylil. I ditto all of the folks that posted before me, and also wanted to add another; maybe do something silly or fun for someone else like an elderly neighbor. I know when I was feeling a little down about many holidays and being alone, it always helped me get through by doing something for someone else.

Posted 2/8/2010 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
I had the same type of thing happen to me once. It hurts because you feel you need someone there to nurture you more, but in all actuallity, you're better off in the long run without that person b/c they can't or wont be there for you when you need them the most.

Valentine's day is about love and that person you're talking about doesn't know much about it.

Posted 2/8/2010 4:32 PM (GMT 0)
Being told by my GI that former smokers are 50% more likely to get UC (of those genetically disposed to the disease) was a real kick in the pants to me. Quitting smoking after 17 years was without question the hardest thing I have ever done, and the reward is UC? Not fair!

Your boyfriend sounds like a selfish loser, and you are better off without him.
Posted 2/8/2010 5:56 PM (GMT 0)
~loopylil~  I am about an 8 hour drive from Vancouver.  I live in a quiet little town in the Kootenay region.  Absolute paradise!

And I agree with Quincy, go buy yourself something *sparkly* tongue

Posted 2/8/2010 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
I was thinking about that too; sometimes when I feel down the one thing I love to do is get a pedicure!

Posted 2/8/2010 6:09 PM (GMT 0)
My wife has also dumped me during my worst flare.

I think that we cannot blame them. Why should they suffer with us all the time leading a craptey life.

Let them free and let them enjoy life
Posted 2/8/2010 6:52 PM (GMT 0)
loopylil,

I will probably get in trouble for this, but here's what I believe true love is:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

"Love never fails."

We (meaning men) are not perfect, but if we truly love someone, nothing on earth can stop us from being there for them.

Cheer up, tomorrow will be a brighter day!

wink

NBT
Posted 2/8/2010 7:07 PM (GMT 0)
My 17 year old nephew just said the other day, "If you really love someone, it shouldn't matter".  Pretty mature for a 17 year old male I think........

My wish for all of the people in all of our lives who cannot "deal with OUR illness" is this.....

May you never suffer from a chronic illness, may you never suffer the heartbreak of loss due to your chronic illness, may you never be made to feel ashamed, guilty or alone, and may you never feel less love than you deserve.

Posted 2/8/2010 10:32 PM (GMT 0)

BCGirl, thank you for writing that last wonderful last post -  but now the tears won't stop rolling down my cheeks!  Very powerful words.

Posted 2/8/2010 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
hmmm how does that line go when you get married ... through sickness and health ... yeah, that is it. People that say they can't take it or can't deal with it are immature god darn babies and to be honest you are much better w/o them. I know you weren't married, but the principle is the same. I have decided to stay single for a while just to get my whole life sorted out and get things back to the way they were. I hope you are ok loopylil! Things do have a way of figuring themselves out. It could be a blessing in disguise. Focus on you, focus on dealing with this, and try to stay positive at all times. My mother always told me, which I am sure everyone has heard a million times, when a door closes a window opens. Opportunity! hang in their, girl!
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