I think you are generally healthier after the surgery - the inflammation goes away with the colon. If you have Chrons, surgery is not a cure because the inflammation can spread but for UC, it is a "cure". I have heard that j-pouch surgery can impact the ability to get pregnant. I have read varying opinions on the topic but according to my doctor, surgery should be taken very seriously for women of childbearing age who want children. Seeing that you want 2-3 more children, it is definitely something to consider. It doesn't make you infertile but it can make it harder to get pregnant. I, personally, wouldn't worry about
expanding your family until you are in stable health. It sounds like you are already struggling to keep ahead of everything on your plate.
I hope you are feeling better soon.