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You know you have Colitis when...

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 4/5/2010 9:01 PM (GMT 0)
You never, ever get into a car without using the restroom first. Never. Ever.

(my husband doesn't say "time to go" but instead he says "time to potty")

You remember where every restroom is at every tourist attraction you have ever visited, even if you haven't been there in years.

(this thread is great)

Posted 4/5/2010 9:19 PM (GMT 0)
Only you KNOW the real reason why you have a flashlight in the bathroom...
Posted 4/6/2010 9:39 AM (GMT 0)
Yes...the flashlight! I had someone ask me that once. But, I do use it to see when clean out my tonsils too (I begged to have them removed)....another secret that's out of the closet now.

q
Posted 4/6/2010 11:20 AM (GMT 0)
Ok Quincy, I gotta know...cleaning your tonsils?  How and why?
Posted 4/6/2010 11:30 AM (GMT 0)
I'm guessing tonsil stones Q? lol
Posted 4/6/2010 12:07 PM (GMT 0)
when you cant focus in the class due the urgent need to the bathroom
when you have a complete table of different medications for all diseases.
when u love to stay at home.
when you afraid public areas .
when you become addiction to painkillers
when you have fever 3 times a week
when u don't know what to wear
when you feel dead at flare up
when you cant sleep at all
when you try all types of blood tests , x-ray , colonoscopy ,endoscopy, barium enema, ultrasound
Posted 4/6/2010 12:38 PM (GMT 0)
Ah just thought of another one...........when you have had more colonoscopies then your grandparents and you can give THEM tips on the prep!
Posted 4/6/2010 12:53 PM (GMT 0)
You know you have UC when you read comments that have words like, poo, poop, poopy, BM and D and don't giggle like a school boy any more.  ( I dunno, I was just trying to inject a bit o humor)
Posted 4/6/2010 2:41 PM (GMT 0)
...you have more reading materials in your bathroom than your local library!
Posted 4/6/2010 3:27 PM (GMT 0)
Man! I wish I could think of something witty to add! You guys are great and are hitting it right on the head. I'm going to print out this thread and tape it somewhere for a giggle when I need one. :-)
Posted 4/6/2010 8:05 PM (GMT 0)
Sherry/c-o-t-o...yes, used to be tonsil stones, but now it's just the gunk that settles in them. Not much, but it's a morning routine. Better than being in my mouth, and I'm conscious of my "breath"....

I should have begged harder to have them out. One less area to "do"....

I'm not the only one, on another forum....some cleaned theirs out with water pics and dental scrapers.......I couldn't imagine. I squeeze with q-tips.

Which is grosser....butt poop or tonsil poop.....

q
Posted 4/6/2010 8:12 PM (GMT 0)
Red-So true, I had to coach my boyfriend's mom through a prep several months ago.

Also, quincy-ick. Just ick.

Another one from me as well: When you've realized one of your life goals is to have a house with at least 3 bathrooms.
Posted 4/6/2010 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
...through the normal gross-out shudder, a part of your brain is actually calmly intrigued by fecal transplantation and swallowing a bunch of parasitic worms.
Posted 4/6/2010 10:07 PM (GMT 0)
You've explain UC so much you just say "Basically my Colon is Screwed"
You can't find something, the 1st place you look is your bathroom
You keeped baked tortilla chips in your purse
You can take 7 big pills at once
(now for a more heart warming one) you cried tears of joy after you ran a whole mile without stopping and getting 2nd place out of your PE class
Posted 4/6/2010 10:22 PM (GMT 0)

mom2threehasU/C said...
...you have more reading materials in your bathroom than your local library!

lol this. I have to have reading material and lots of it.
Posted 4/7/2010 12:34 AM (GMT 0)
Interesting. I go so fast that I don't have time to read anything.
Posted 4/7/2010 1:18 AM (GMT 0)
I tried a bit of real food today (it had a little bit of cooked veggies in it... and I felt like an outlaw! I knew it was time to try something and I looked around like, what if someone sees me TRYING A LITTLE BIT OF VEGETABLES!
Posted 4/7/2010 2:38 AM (GMT 0)
Every time you go out to eat, you scan the menu for the blandest option possible. Then you ask them to hold half the ingredients.
Posted 4/7/2010 5:09 AM (GMT 0)
LOL @ at your last one SirCrapAlot
Posted 4/7/2010 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
You can swallow a rubic's cube and poop it out solved!

(sircrapsalot, I actually have taken a phone-photo of more than a few poops! Only to discuss with my husband though, not for a scrapbook!) :-)
Posted 4/7/2010 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
OK... for me it is when you have a pen and paper next to the toilet so you can record the time of day, amount, consistency of, and whatever it is: bowel, blood, mucus, so you can give your GI the details. Also, you never ever go to the bathroom without visually checking out your poop.
Posted 4/7/2010 7:08 PM (GMT 0)

...when you're shopping you NEVER buy white underwear and you ALWAYS pick out the pants that are easiest to undo...  yeah

Posted 4/7/2010 8:32 PM (GMT 0)
When your jealous of you're toddlers poo.

When you smell gas and you think, oh great, everybody is going to think it's me.

When your late to work and don't even have to explain why.

When you make up words like P.I.P. which is like R.I.P but starts with poop.

I love that craptacular one.lol

Posted 4/8/2010 2:53 AM (GMT 0)
When you have a bucket, a roll of paper towel, wipes, toilet paper, and a change of clothes in the back of your van at all times and if someone asks what that is in there for my kids say "it's moms poop bucket" 

You guys are so funny.  I love the pepto one, the colonoscopy one(my mom hasn't even had one yet, I've had three), oh and the 3 bathrooms in your house.  I won't go to my grandmas for holiday's because she has one bathroom and like 50 people over.  I've already pooped myself there never again. 

Glad everyone can laugh at this.turn

Posted 4/8/2010 3:08 PM (GMT 0)
When you are the "go to" person amongst your family and friends for any poop related medical advice: colonoscopies, stool sample tests, etc.

I can so relate to most of these... especially this one from Sircrapalot: "you know you have UC when you finally take the first healthy crap in like 3 years. You actually want to call your friends and family to tell them about it."

If I recall, I actually did email my mom with the news... oy. I tell you, it made my whole day, I went through the whole day with a joy in my heart! Like if you'd heard you'd won some money in the lottery.
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