Another day the same why us?

Hey guys I have universal colitis got told last November.

Since then its been an erray of steriods and imuran and mesaline.

I mean with all these tablets you would think I'd be feeling better guess what "no".

Still feel then same have a constant flare for almost a year somedays are better than others but its always there.

Its affecting my life so much I'm only 27 had a great career and all was going well also took pride in my fitness now its all gone downwards.

Glad to say have great friends and family and a loving girlfriend and my beautiful one year old daughter.

Just feel like I am  missing out on my daughters first year and all the things you do at my age life has gotten so serious.

I'm hoping at some point the doctors strike it lucky with my meds or find some way to make m feel better so I can get back to been me.

Don't know about anybody else but my bleeding and pain is pretty severe think I'm just in the unlucky group that this colitis takes over so much of our lives.

I know exactly how you feel. This all began for me when I was 27 and I've consistently been dealing with flares since. I had one good remission that lasted about a year, a little more, but this flare following remission has been relentless. It's very frustrating. I don't know what will come of me, my future, my life... I had a lot going for me, I somewhat still do. I have a loving family and a great boyfriend, a comfortable place to live but my career has suffered. I don't know what I am capable of doing when I am constantly up and down. The past few months I've only been able to work because I've been working on a part-time basis. I don't see children in my future, I can't imagine having this illness and a child. I am sure it would bring me a lot of happiness but I see a lot of sadness and I am not sure this life is one I want to put upon someone else. I see this country as deteriorating, the economy doesn't have great potential for recovery in the near future, no one cares about anyone... I just have a negative view of the world. I have lost a lot of friends since becoming ill because they think I exaggerate about my condition. I am a bit of a hermit, I guess I am better off this way. I am 1000s of miles from relatives, have no friends, no work, no goal, no path. Feeling sort of down today mentally but my UC is calm. At least that's positive!

Have you ben checked for bacterial causes? How about rectal meds? Sometimes the little things really can help. Are you on prednisone?

Maybe you should make a plan to have surgery?
If you are not getting any relief, and are ready to feel a little worse for a while (recovery) in order to finally be better (cured!).

Hey I'm living in ireland and surgery is up to the doctor ain't an option unless they want you to have it

Funny how this miserable condition so often hits people in their prime, their 20's. I was 28 when first afflicted. That was 24 years ago, and I am still here!

I really need to vent today. I'm totally feeling brunt of the the "why us" mentality, so I picked this thread. Thanks for humoring me.

All week, I've had a mild head cold (or something) and it has sent me from a glorious minimal-symptom state into pain, blood and worry, spiraling down into despair. I feel like the bottom line with UC is -- I am doomed to suffer. The roller coaster of hope and improvement is followed quickly by the reality of pain and anxiety, only to start the cycle all over again. The rest of my life will be about suffering and there is nothing I can do to change it, the only question is "how much".

The progress of my life has been derailed by this disease -- all of the energy and worry I find myself investing in my health and treatment leaves little left over for career, relationships and dreams. Now my dreams consist of surviving through a stressful week at work or an early morning flight, or hoping that my kidneys don't give out from all of the medication. And every once in a while I look around a huge group of people -- like in a stadium of tens of thousands -- and I think, there are maybe 11 people here with UC like me. How is that possible? How did that happen? Why don't we know how to fix this yet? (and then, of course, where is the bathroom?)

This week is my one year anniversary of being diagnosed, so I think that contributes to being emotional about it. I've been shoving pills into my mouth for 12 full months, with a lifetime of more ahead of me. I've been mapping routes to various bathrooms, obsessively reading medical research, cutting out and adding foods, and keeping this life-defining secret from almost everyone and there is NO end in sight.

Sometimes I am so grateful to have been single during this first year, and other times I think I may honestly never be close to someone again. Like it wasn't already hard enough to meet someone! Now I have to deal with a)pretty much never feeling sexy and b)the possibility that on any day, my body will descend into a horrific cycle of self-destruction that eats me alive from the inside.

Now, on the plus side: a year later, I'm not nearly as afraid (at least I know what's going on, and every phantom pain doesn't make me think I'm dying). I have a doctor I like, and I have been able to manage my meds, stress, food and activities.

Today and this week, I am feeling very sorry for us. We're in a club that nobody wants to join and we can't get out. Reading these posts is both helpful and terrifying -- a lot of posters are much, much worse off than I am, and have been dealing with UC a lot longer. I don't know any of you personally, but I feel better knowing that someone understands this kind of suffering. I'm sure you've had a day like this, and I kind of feel like you're sitting here with me on the couch nodding in understanding (or maybe I'm hallucinating now too).

So, today was "another day the same", but mentally worse for me. Happy anniversary UC, I hope this coming year is less eventful.

Hey little buddy I am with you I have had enough of the UC it is destroying my life to.
I am the most positive perwson you can ever meet I haven't let UC stop me doing anything but deep down it has stopped everything.
I am 27 and almost all the things I loved to do are gone because the things I loved involved exercise which I haven't the energy for.
I mean when I got the news I had UC I taught great now they will give me tablets and it will be gone but No nearly a year and no better No matter how many pills I get.
I know people try and help on the site and thats great for us but everybody has this UC different and some of us just don't get a break from it and when You don't your outlook on life becomes sometimes bleak.
I have to keep things going for my girlfriend and young baby but inside I'm tired and just about holding on.

Exactly what I was trying to get at.  Maybe it's the age.  I almost 40.  When I was in my 20's and something like UC happend to me I felt a range of emotions.  First denial, then frustration, eventually anger and negative vibes.  I stayed there for a while.  As I have gotten older and have had to deal with many negative situations along with UC I feel as I have come to terms with my unwanted friend-Ulcerative Colitis.  I have the same bad and negative feelings that anyone has with a disease that is unwanted.  It's just that I have come to appreciate all the smaller things that I may have overlooked before in my youth. 

Now I have come to understand that certain obstacles like UC are here to stay so I have to a certain extent accepted it and moved past it.  I won't allow UC 2 define who I am or how I feel.  There are other things to appreciate and I will continue to fight the urge to just break down and pity myself.  It has made me stronger, strong enough that I hold my emotional ground and just deal with it as best as I can, that's all one can do in the end. 

In the end I hope my example will help others here see that I have been where they have been and I am now here where I am in this stage of life and one should never lose hope.  I didn't want to represent the "positive" poster out here, I just wanted to say I understand what you are going through. 

Thanks little buddy for making me feel better.

MyUC