Struggling College Student :(

I used to buy a new color of lipstick when things got me down-- ha! It sounds like you're already taking many sensible steps to manage UC successfully so you can pat yourself on the back. Getting plenty of rest is hard to do while in college, but you may hear from Callalilly or Elephant Pipe as to how they're managing. Try to stay positive and avoid worrying about being a burden to your family. A number of members posting here have gone from college to graduate school in spite of UC, and others are successful teachers, lawyers, dentists, etc., who may advise you on the forum. / Old Hat (30 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)

Thank you for posting :) I have just been reading through things tonight while working on homework, and I am beginning to feel better already :) I appreciate the advice. It's so difficult for me to slow down. I used to be able to do a million and one things, and I no longer can. That for me is the hardest. I can't accept that I have to change my life for this darn disease. I don't plan on quitting school at this point, as I love school! (I'm a strange one haha!) It keeps me busy and distracted. :) I've been quitting much of my extracurricular stuff. I quit my job, which was horrible. I loved where I worked, but I was coming home with significant joint pain and pure exhaustion. It just became too much. It's difficult for me to accept, but as I read this forum I am finding that I am far from the only one :) I added a signature, and realized I forgot some things, so it will change, but that's some of what I take!

 I had to withdraw from school this semester.  This disease is brutal. I just got out of the hospital after 5 days and 2 er visits prior , and also got diagnosed at the hospital with C diff a bacterial infection.

  MAKE SURE YOUR STOOL SAMPLES ARE CHECKED FOR C DIFF!

Also, don't over exert yourself. If you need to take a break please do. I made it through undergrad, but I did have to take a semester off from grad school. I was missing class and didnt have any energy or an appetite. My family and boyfriend thought I was just being lazy, but eventually I was rushed to the hospital because I could barely walk up a flight of stairs without taking a 2 minute break. I had lost too much blood and needed two transfusions. I had to stay for 3 days and was put on 40mg of prednisone for nearly 5 months. That experience was HORRIBLE and another story in and of itself. So please, listen to your body!

girlzilla said...
Thank you for posting :) I have just been reading through things tonight while working on homework, and I am beginning to feel better already :) I appreciate the advice. It's so difficult for me to slow down. I used to be able to do a million and one things, and I no longer can. That for me is the hardest. I can't accept that I have to change my life for this darn disease. I don't plan on quitting school at this point, as I love school! (I'm a strange one haha!) It keeps me busy and distracted. :) I've been quitting much of my extracurricular stuff. I quit my job, which was horrible. I loved where I worked, but I was coming home with significant joint pain and pure exhaustion. It just became too much. It's difficult for me to accept, but as I read this forum I am finding that I am far from the only one :) I added a signature, and realized I forgot some things, so it will change, but that's some of what I take!

I can relate to EVERYTHING you are saying! I am in graduate school and have 4 part-time jobs on top of it. I thrive off of being super active and involved in my school & community... then overnight everything came to a crashing halt (literally) early spring. I could barely make it to class and my grades really were affected during my spring quarter. I had zero social life and thought I was dying - at the time I had NO idea what was wrong ~ the doctors kept treating me for a c-diff infection (even though ALL stool samples came back negative for it). My joints hurt beyond words can express (at times I could hardly walk ~ I would crawl to the bathroom) and I found myself laying nearly lifeless in bed. It was this weird state - like I wasn't fully asleep but I definitely wasn't fully awake either. I think I should have been hospitalized on a few occasions but I was too scared to go (I am the worse patient ever... I am SO scared of doctors, and ironically I am studying to become one!).

Finally I was able to get seen by a GI specialist and he was able to get me in for a near immediate colonoscopy, where he biopsied all over my colon and concluded that I in fact had Ulcerative Colitis (pancolitis ). I honestly am not the type to feel bad for myself or want people to take pity on me ~ but man did that change since I fell ill this spring! Everyday I cried, asking why is this happening to me??? I am a good person ~ I work hard, I treat people with respect, give back to my community, go to school, don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, I'm super healthy, work out all the time, eat healthy, etc. So ***??? I have SO many goals ~ I was signed up to take my MCAT in August, which I then had to post-pone. I tried to study for the one in Sept. but I just did not have the quality of time to dedicate since I was so incredibly ill. Why couldn't this have happened to some of the douche bags I have come to know during my life??? This all just seems so unfair. But that is the thing - things happen in life that don't make sense and nothing has to be fair. We are just so ingrained in our society that the "good one's" always win and escape evil in the end and the "bad one's" get what's coming. But it just isn't that way most of the time. Case in point everyone on this message board who has this horrendous illness (many of whom have had no relief for YEARS) and all of the poor children stricken with any illness at all in the world.

I think that once I figured out what exactly was wrong with me and got on the right medicine, I stopped asking "why" and really tried to stop feeling bad for myself because life must go on. I am stuck with this disease whether I like it or not. So, after many months of being under a rock, I have finally emerged and started back at work again, my grades are back to normal, and I am slowly starting to work out at the gym (I have really enjoyed swimming ~ easy on the joints!).

I really hope that you can find peace and get on the right medications that work well for your body. You don't deserve this!!! When your strength gets back up, try to immerse yourself in the things that you love to do and the things that make you feel important ~ that will definitely lift your spirits and help you feel a little better (on some level). Keep us posted on your road to recovery!

I want to thank you all for responding so quickly and with so many thoughts. I sat here crying last night, and I got on this morning before I go to class, and I am crying again. I have been searching for people who understand, and I have finally found it! I feel like I am not alone in my struggle, and I have been reading back through all the threads already for more advice.

@Eternal_Optimist: Thank you so much. You sound almost exactly like me! I am involved in a list of activities, and am constantly asked to do more. I hate to say no, but I almost collapsed at work a couple weeks ago. That scared me enough to quit my job, so that I am not stuck awake until 2am every morning trying to concentrate enough to finish things. Thank you for your kind words and support though, it means a lot to me to find people who understand what I am going through and how I feel. :)

@callalily22: My mom is my go-to support system too. That's why I feel bad about burdening her. I often get frustrated and upset over stupid things because I am already on such an edge emotionally from flaring and being stressed, and I feel so horrible. :( I try to do little things for her, like get her some flowers sometimes, because I would probably be in a hospital bed without her and my dad behind me. I am hoping that having people to talk to about things will help me come to terms with everything. I think that is what I need...people who understand exactly where I am! :) I also am super over-involved, and I know it. I am trying to cut back. It's hard to pick and choose though. Thankfully, my advisers know what's going on (I missed a lot of meetings due to doctor's appointments) and are constantly threatening me to delegate or else :D. So, my free time is increasing (I slept in this weekend! and watched a whole bunch of tv!), and I hope to start healing my body :) Thank you :)

@cac8705: Thank you for responding :) I am very glad that event though I am flaring, I haven't had any accidents yet this semester (fingers crossed!!). I hope to keep going to school, and enter grad school next fall. I have considered taking a year off, but the program I am going into is pretty low key from what I understand. :) Thank you for your advice though, I appreciate it!! :)

@FutureMD: What exactly is c-diff? How do I get tested for it? I've never done a stool sample before...they have used blood tests to find almost everything out. I feel like a moving blood mobile sometimes :)

@3timechamp: That is the most difficult part for me. I hate to slow down and just sit around. I feel like a bum when I do that, and it's something I know I have to learn to cope with. Thank you for your advice, and I will definitely look into yoga. I know we get some fitness channel, and I believe they do yoga classes, so I will have to try those out!

@MOMUC19: I didn't realize that mood swings were a side effect of UC meds...do you know of a reliable source for side effects of medications? I am up and down a lot in moods, and wondered if maybe my meds were doing it.

@OldHat: Thanks for your advice :) I hope to one day graduate and be one of those professionals :)

Welcome to Healingwell :) Yes, you are not alone anymore! It's an awesome feeling to know that you can have people you can talk to that can really relate. I can't really comment on your going to school and having to deal with a Uc flare because when I was diagnosed I was 22 (I'm 40 now) but I already did my schooling before being diagnosed. I can only imagine how hard it is! My heart goes out to you.

I think MOMUC19 might of been referring to prednisone as the med that can cause mood swings. Lialda as far as I know does not cause this because it is not a steroid. Also too, how long have you been on Aspirin? In some Uc'ers, Aspirin can cause an increase of symptoms. I can not take it at all or it starts me bleeding. If you need a pain reliever to help you sleep, try switching to Tylonel and see if that helps. Also, do you know the extent of your Uc? Have you ever tried rectal meds? Probiotics?

As for the coping, it was hard for me at first. I had a 1 year old son at the time and I was working full time. I was always on the go go go. It became increasingly harder to handle the every day life and dealing with my son and working so I quit my job. Luckily my husband made enough money for me to do that. I was also in complete denial. I didn't want this so I thought if I wished hard enough it would go away! LOL Nope said my Uc, I ain't going anywhere! Finally I have a handle on my Uc but it took a long time. It seems you have a good head on your shoulders. Right now I am seeing a therapist for other issues and in the course of seeing her, she is helping to come to better terms of me having this. I just feel like I wasted so many years of trying to deal and cope on my own. So when the therapist showed me other ways to help me deal with it, it was like taking a deep breath. So maybe having a counselor or therapist to talk to may be of benefit - or you can just talk to us! :)

girlzilla,

Just out of curiosity, when did you start taking the YAZ ? My daughter was on that from December 2009 until August 2010 and my husband believes there is a connection with the Yaz and UC. We made her stop taking it in August.

Also, to answer your question about the side effects of the meds. Yes, I was referring to steroids. I didn't realize that you were only on Lialda. But I would also imagine that feeling crappy all the time could get on your nerves !!

How are you doing today ?

Hi Girlzilla - I'm glad you found us! I remember how happy I was when I found HW, also.

I have plodded through a lot with UC - jobs, promotions, 2 kids, renovating two houses, performing in local music programs...... but I have the luxury of working part-time, which helps. At Christmas (really, really busy because in addition to family I work in a church, so it's like double the worktime then...) I often flare. But... I guess I've learned to attack flares as they first start, so usually they don't get too bad, (I'm lucky enough that the tried and true meds still work...) I do try to get "down time" - though my mother is always telling me I'm doing too much! (Yes, even at this age!! LOL)
My younger son has UC, and he really has less stamina than his older brother. He's happy, outgoing, active - but if he's booked wall-to-wall like other teens, he ends up not making it to school the next day or something.
It's hard, because there are no universal rules, we all respond so differently - but paying attention to yourself is the best thing you can do, and I'm sure you'll be able to do lots in life!

Wow, I was misdiagnosed with c-diff too! But the antibiotics helped me and I've randomly gotten spontaneous remissions before.

Girlzilla-I was also diagnosed during undergrad. Slowing down is about the best thing you can do. Drop activities first then classes if you have to...see if anyone can help you with your responibilities. I was working in the lab when I was diagnosed and had to have my mentor cover my experiment while I was getting scoped...there's no shame in something like that. Lots of rest and take care of yourself. I was also lucky in that my fiance (boyfriend at the time) was living with me and would cook things that didn't bother me. I had had a few minor flares that went undiagnosed before this and boy was also really helpful with those.

Basically it's about knowing your limits.

As for making myself feel better...I tend to marathon animes and tv shows. I watched all of Full Metal Alchemist (50-something episodes) during my first flare, sooo.... Reading and games are also good.

Now I'm doing well, in remission and my first year of my Ph.D program.

How long have you been on lialda? You may want to keep your dose at a higher level if you're symptomatic. I know if I don't keep mine at 4 I'm in for a flare.

Im a college student as well , in my last semester , I have taken off 3 terms so far and now Im finishing . I so agree with ETERNAL_OPTIMIST , life goes on , stop asking "why"!
I had my major flare up 2 years ago , and it ended my relationship with my bf . This is the best that ever happened to me, for the first time
I realized what I want from a partner , I realized what matters to me in life , I realized how much I love myself . Not that I was happy about the flare , I cried many nights ...but the last flare up I had changed me as a person and I learned to change my attitude .I dont hate UC , its part of me , its my body's way of telling me that I am paying to much attention to unnecessary things and that I should slooooowwww dowwwwwwn . I don't worry too much about grades anymore , or stupid arguments and I DONT FREAK OUT WHEN I SEE FIRST SYMPSTOMS OF A FLARE!!! Before , when I would see a little bit of blood , I would always start to cry and prepare myself for a long
severe flare , and the preoccupation always gave me so much mental stress that I would end up in that severe flare every single time .
in the last 18 months , I have had numerous signs of flares , but everytime I just smiled and thanked my body for reminding me of my promise not to stress myself and the symptoms go away . I SWEAR! Attitude is so important .

I CAN'T BELIEVE I STUMBLED ACROSS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had let my membership with the colitis and chrones foundation lapse because they had nothing for college students like me. i hate to say this is great... but this is great! i finally found a community of people who are REALLY like me, age and all! any of you have issues living with roomies b/c of loose stools? i had to move into a single on a disabilities floor b/c i went through a bout of having diarrhea in my pants... all the doctor would say was to try diapers, which i refused to do... so i'm just wearing sanitary napkins all the time.