supporting partner with UC

Wow, you are a great partner! He's lucky to have you in these trying times.

I'd say the best thing my boyfriend does is be completely understanding and patient with my UC issues. I often suddenly have to pull over at a gas station to run to the bathroom, or have to go to the bathroom 10x before we leave the house, or can't do something fun with him because it's outside or requires a long car ride, and he's always perfectly fine with it. Never complains, sighs, rushes me, or anything like that. It makes it sooo much easier!

Another thing is, this is an extremely non-sexy disease. Make sure he know that you are still as attracted to him as ever, and that this won't change that at all. Even if he isn't up for romance when he's feeling lousy.

Lastly, try to gauge whether he wants to talk about this or not. Either way is fine, I personally sometimes want to talk about it and sometimes I'd rather pluck my eyes out. Oh, and find out if he wants to keep this between the two of you or if he's okay with you talking about it with other people, before you do.

Just be there for him, as you are now! It is so important for us to have somebody to lean on in the hard times. You've already started to do your "homework" on the topic so your partner is lucky having you around, trying to get to know the enemy and support him the same time.
When he wants just let him rest, rest, rest. When he wants to talk - talk about it. And still, as runawaybirde3mentioned, show him that you care and are still attracted. Yeah, and important thing about spreading the news with family and friends - he must be ok with that. Some people feel embarrassed, but in my case, I feel better that my family and friends know. They can be supportive and more over, they "understand" the urgency and the drill. So it is something to discuss with your partner.
Practical side, just tell him to call you out if he needs to use the bathroom.
about diet, have you tried the old good BRAT? Bananas, rice (in any form, mostly boiled, but also rice crackers, puffed ice etc), applesauce, toast? It should help with D, and sometimes naked baked potato will do.

Keep up good work! Hope your partner will be better soon!

Also, don't make fun of it.  Maybe when he does you can but like if he has to stop 20 times to use the bathroom be patient.  he can't help it and he don't like stoping all the time either.  It is a very embarrasing diesese.  My husband will pull over and not say a word about it.  he is supportive about it and understands I can't hold it.  Just being there is the best thing.  Let him know he can talk when he wants and if he don't want to that is fine.  It is a hard thing to deal with. Alot of people don't think it is a big deal.  Work is a hard thing also.  Getting disability is hard but working is really hard when you are in a flare.  I wish him and you the best of luck.

What others have said is good advice, also be patient and understand the many many many trips to the bathroom and the urgency.

(Had to edit this, my wording sounded like I had been drinking LOL...)

Post Edited (EStrong) : 5/11/2011 8:29:00 PM (GMT-6)

So wonderful of you to post here and get advice! Do try to get the mesalamine enemas if you can; the 5-ASAs are about the safest family of drugs for UC and the enemas are (in my opinion) the best delivery mechanism for this drug, providing that the inflammation isn't too high up the colon.

The things I'm most grateful to my partner for: He isn't at all uncomfortable talking with me about UC. He is very understanding of my symptoms - doesn't make me feel like I'm less attractive or desirable because of them.

By the way, in avoiding dairy you might want to be sure that he isn't eating products with carrageenan (often soy milk has this) - it may be bad for inflammation. I thought I was lactose-intolerant, but ultimately it was just other symptoms of UC. In fact, I've seen some dramatic improvement to my symptoms since I started eating a good probiotic yogurt -- something he might consider as an inexpensive "certainly can't hurt" kind of thing :).

All the best to you and your boyfriend, he is lucky to have such a great partner!

Each person is so different. The best way to support your boyfriend depends a lot on his personality.

My wife basically ignores my constant trips to the bathroom when I am flaring and will not let me have an ongoing pity party about it. That is actually better for me as I tend to stew over it and focus on the disease too much. Often times, when I focus on living my life and not on the disease I do much better. This is sometimes not possible when my symptoms reach a certain point, and at those times she does whatever she can to help me.

I never, never talk about my UC with anyone other than close friends and family. I just find people treat you differently when they know, and for some reason that bugs me. My wife respects this and does not talk about it with anyone I haven't already discussed it with. This is important as others have mentioned.

Your boyfriend is a lucky man to have someone as understanding as you. Best of luck to both of you... and yes, see if you can get the mesalamine enemas somehow, they are expensive, but can be extremely effective.