Without being overly sappy or dramatic I wanted to start a thread about
our illnesses and the resulting perspectives we have adopted. We're all here because we have suffered and endured a painful, debilitating and unpredictable health condition. I wanted to contribute a thread to this forum about
sharing stories of salvage, success and happiness despite our illness. Our collective strength and inspiration is a great source of hope!
In February it felt like the sky had fallen on me. My serious relationship had ended and I was forced to abandon my semester of law school because of a sudden and severe flare which eventually hospitalized me and potentially threatened my life. While being unable to eat, reduced to a dangerous (for me) 133 lbs and listening to a damaged liver patient (my hospital roommate) lose his sanity, I received an e-mail on my Blackberry from my school's recruitment specialist: "Stephen, I regret to inform you that your career prospects have been greatly reduced due to your missed term, don't expect many interviews this spring."
This was among the very lowest points in my life, where everything seemed to be going to downhill at an alarming rate. Before being admitted to hospital I had spent weeks not eating, barely drinking and weakened in bed where I believe I was beginning to feel my body succumb. There was a very odd point where the pain and discomfort began to feel less so despite no change in the severity of illness. That realization frightened me more than anything and began to change my perspective on life, a change that has been enlightening and a positive change for myself and those around me.
I focused on the fact that friends and family were still coming to visit me and loved me. I reluctantly started Remicade infusions at the end of April and my symptoms stopped overnight. I had gotten a chance to get my life back for a while and wanted to seize it and make the most of my remission. I began by thanking those close to me for all the support and concern. I called old friends who I was missing. I rediscovered my favourite past times I stopped years ago. I went chasing after the most desirable women I had ever met. I sent out job applications to my dream law firms hoping for a callback. I began a training program to get my body back. I "stopped to smell the flowers" in every conceivable way every chance I got and it's saved me from despair.
This morning I woke up feeling I had to post on here. I have many job interviews, an exciting new relationship starting, many old friendships revived, an even closer relationship with my family and an overwhelming feeling of hope. My body is returning and I'm enjoying my life. I realized that a simple choice to make the most of my life despite the circumstances had changed everything. The will to do what I wanted made it possible. To anyone reading this I wish to invite you to do the same and remember that your life is precious and priceless despite health issues. We are afflicted but still hang on, don't let the suffering or difficulties consume you. Thanks for reading, and please share your "phoenix rising from the ashes" stories as I hope those in the depths of struggle will stumble upon our thread and feel hope returning.
Thanks
Steve