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Need advice, bad neighbors causing me to feel sickly

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Posted 1/23/2012 5:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hello All,
I moved to a new apartment in Oct of last year. Since then the upstairs neighbors and their 2 small children seem to have no consideration for people around or under them. I assume it is mostly the kids but it is always running loud, stomping, jumping and the list goes on and on... this has actually shaken my fixtures in the ceilings.. I have chatted with the neighbors several times... sent complaint emails to the office, spoke with the asst manager several times and nothing changes.. I am being woke up at all hours of the night and on the weekends can't get rest or even relax it is so out of hand... I am sure that my UC and trying not to be stressed and trying to get plenty of rest when I feel tired and sleep when I need to causes me to be less understanding to those people and their children. I am sending my complex a joint termination of my lease letter today.. I hate to do that, I have to get people to help me move or pay to have everything moved and just went thru that but seems that it my only option. I am starting to feel more tired and my stomach is starting to give me some not so good signs..
Has anyone else had this issue with their UC and bad neighbors/management? How did you get things handled?
Posted 1/23/2012 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
I had issues with management. They violated the least by entering my apt without my consent. I called the office and gave them 30 days notice which the women told me on the phone i can't do that because of my contract. i stated the contract back to her and how they violated their own terms and told her i would gladly see her in court if there was a problem which i then hung up on her. I never heard from her again and never got a bill.

All i can say is keep records of EVERYTHING. Send certified letters and if you can record the noise at night and make sure you write down the time and date.
Posted 1/23/2012 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
I live in an apartment complex and there was one woman who moved in that like to party in the hallway at 3:00 in the morning.  I typed a letter saying that unless they toned it down, they would be evicted.  I signed the letter from management.  She never made a sound again.  :-)
Posted 1/23/2012 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Michele - LOL. That is awesome.
Posted 1/23/2012 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
Moving seems the only thing you can do. I agree to have documentation of former complaints and lease agreement, etc.

LOL Michheljc....I think that idea is the BEST!
I never would have thought of that.

Unfortunately, we cannot pick our neighbours, and all it takes is one person to ruin one's life situation. Even though we live in a house, one person moved into our neighbourhood that set the immediate area into a tailspin. He calmed down after many police visits and eventually became an OK neighbour. He's moved now...wonder who will move in next?

Hope all works out for you LivingAgain..let us know what happens.
q
Posted 1/23/2012 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
I decided if I were ever to live in apt again that I would be the one above people. I wake up at the drop of a pin and just can't take the noise.
Posted 1/23/2012 9:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Guys for the replies... I too cannot sleep very well and wake up to every little noise or even light.. that is also with a time released sleeping pill so it is just a no go for me at that place. I submitted a certified letter by mail today telling them that this was not working and due to my delicate remission with my illness that staying there in that type of a situation would cause my health to fail. That I have been reasonable to the people above me in every way and to the office people to resolve the issue. Nothing is working and that it was not acceptable. We shall see what they say. I would hope they will see the reason for my request and not try to financially gouge my eyes out but if they do, I work in a court and know a few attorneys.. lol

@Michele, that was awesome and I wish I could have thought of that! lol

@sherhear, I had said that too but I have 2 dogs that have to be taken out frequently and sometimes I just don't feel that I could do the stairs over and over on a really bad day...my knees are not real forgiving these days with the weather and joint pain. :(

I hate to have to be this way... hate to have to live my life around this UC mess and I have not used the illness yet to get out of anything. It is a sinking feeling almost even though it is absolute truth. Weird I guess? I will keep y'all posted on what comes of it. :)
Posted 1/23/2012 11:11 PM (GMT 0)
Oh dogs in the mix...I agree I would be on the ground floor too...stairs some days really stink. Hope something good comes from your letter.
Posted 1/24/2012 6:12 AM (GMT 0)
Unfortunately, I know from personal experience that even 1 bad neighbor can be a drain on our health. Above my apt. lives a kook who became obsessed with plumbing noises about 1 1/2 yrs ago. Picture this: a 45 yr-old woman who has a tenured faculty position at an urban university decided to spend most of her time sitting near the bathroom pipes & then complaining to the bldg super that we downstairs are bothering her. She has also stomped overhead at night & repeatedly slammed bathroom & closet doors. Her hubby yelled at her many times to cut it out; now he spends most of his time somewhere else, leaving us stuck with her nutso behavior. At least the management finally realized she is a nut job & told the super not to respond to her after-hours complaints. It seems that managers today hesitate to get involved with disruptive and/or abusive residents-- so we have to find our own solutions. (As if we don't already have enough to deal with!) Where I live it is practically impossible to change apts. because new leases are over $3,200/mo. for 1-bedroom places; if you can find an affordable new apt., grab it! / Old Hat (31 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)
Posted 1/25/2012 3:04 PM (GMT 0)
Old Hat,
Sadly if I wouldn't have known better I would think by your description that you lived in my apartment.. the lady upstairs seems a bit off to me as well... somehow locking herself out of her apartment at 3:30 in the morning when the locks on the doors are almost impossible to lock yourself out and banging on the door like a crazy person to not sure who, since her husband doesn't reside there full time either.. ???? ... she does these sorts of things more so than not these days... I thought at first it was a divorce and mid-life crisis maybe for this lady but now I am not so sure she is not just nuts! And strangely this lady was(not sure if she works anymore, she doesn't seem to have a schedule these days) is a professor at a university here also...

Yesterday I had placed a copy of the paperwork in the drop box of the office so they would know the certified copy was coming... and yesterday afternoon the lady got a letter... she didn't look like it was good news but I didn't even receive a confirmation phone call or email or note on my door of them acknowledging my intent to move... I will keep y'all posted on what happens...
Posted 1/25/2012 5:35 PM (GMT 0)
Definitely keep us posted. This is one part of the U.S. (affordable) housing crisis. And it impacts our health ... / Old Hat (31 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)
Posted 1/25/2012 6:58 PM (GMT 0)
Nothing worse than inconsiderate people. I'm covered in tattoos so I usually don't have this problem after the first time I express my feelings to a neighbor about noise. If it happens a second time I tend to get a bit loud. 3rd time & well the cops usually get called heh. Hopefully you get it under control. When it comes to these kind of issues effecting are UC it's no longer a game.
Posted 1/25/2012 10:55 PM (GMT 0)
Cadillac that is funny!
Posted 1/26/2012 6:47 AM (GMT 0)
Good luck. I never ever would get anything but the top floor. Renting in kauai, colo springs, I always call and ask for top floor, corner away from elevator. Actually I screwed up in kauai and got garden level which rocked, us and another couple I invited. Then came the day the kids upstairs were bouncing the ball on the floor. Never made that mistake again.

I cant take the dogs barking around my home anymore, I back to openspace, was quiet, moving down the street where the homes are spread out and people have enough space to keep them inside. Just nuts here anymore. Noise freak for sure so my NEW home has SPRAY FOAM Insulation. That stuff rocks, it blocks out all sound.
Posted 1/26/2012 10:00 AM (GMT 0)
I odn't know about the laws about noise in the US but in the Uk there is laws to protect you.

You should write down all the noises and events with dates and times. Like to start a diary. Then after a while you can send a registred letter to your neighbourgs stating the events, the noises and your wish for them to be more considerate. When you do that i take it you already talked to them before writing everything down.

Then it doesnt get any better you can give a call to your district council (i think they deal with noises more than the cops) and then they have to treat the file and if the neighbourgs are still not cooperating it might end up in court... maybe 6 or 8 months later?

So yes you have rights, Yes you can do something. However it's a long road and if your neighbourgs arent considerate don't expect them to make less noises during the procedures. They can turn very awckward towards you when they see you cause obviously they will!

The question is do you want to be stressed about when to go out to avoid them? Will that added stress will benefit your uc?

We have noisy drunk poeple above us with domestic violence and throwing furniture (i have no clue who is more violent the girls or the boy). I would like to do all the procedure and be within my rights.

But it can leave you drained and negative.

The choice is yours,
good luck
Posted 1/26/2012 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hello All!
Update: Yesterday afternoon I had a note on my door from the apartment manager. She "regretted to inform me"... (as she put it) that she cannot let me out of my lease... that she "sympathizes with my "condition", she feels they have responded to my complaints and have done everything to solve the issue"... I can pay my reletting fees and she can find someone to lease apartment so it will let me out of the remaining term of the lease.

So, conversation went like so:
ME: If you feel you have done everything to solve the issue but the issue is not resolved, then how do you not own any of the responsibility in this?
MGR: We have sent her notes and warned her
ME: And nothing has changed the behavior. I do not feel I should have to pay reletting fees when it is by no means my fault that you cannot gain control of the situation. You cannot tell me that you tried so now I just have to deal with it or pay a lot of money to get out.
MGR: That is the way the lease is written, you have no other options.
ME: Your wrong... I have several options... I can call the police and file reports every time I am disturbed which will start to affect your overall new lease numbers because no one will live somewhere that the police call out stats are high. I will also be notifying you every time as well... and/or can just get an attorney and they can work this out for me. Or, you can realize the totality of the situation and see that it is best for everyone not to charge me a reletting fee for your incompetence in managing.

Sidenote: I also have 3 notarized statements from people that have been in my apartment on more than one occasion and witnessed the ridiculousness...

Then there were crickets..LOL (silence..) she will have to call me back.
So, as the saga continues... :)
Posted 1/26/2012 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds as though you're not a push-over (love the crickets scenario...lol).

The process continues, and you do have your rights as well. I admire your restrained and respectful tenacity (Dog Whisperer would call it calm and assertive).

I'm curious if the tenant above knows who is making the complaints? And....maybe you should invite the manager to come and visit for an evening. Just make sure she doesn't tell the tenant...

q
Posted 1/26/2012 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
Heather,
I have learned alot from this darn UC mess. I have learned to temper my temperment, so to speak to keep the stress levels down. I also work with mostly difficult patrons that do not wish to deal with me( traffic court) and I have to be calm and assertive to respect them thru their dealings.
I am sure the lady upstairs knows who is complaining, she is a nice lady outside of this issue. It is hard for me to have to enforce my quiet space because she is that nice. I think she is going thru some drama of her own with the husband and maybe even her job. Not that any of this excuses the noise. My UC won't let me ignore the stomping and jumping and running because I cannot sleep well even with ambien so when it comes to little to no sleep and getting irritated every time my ceiling fixtures shake, that is causing me to feel run down and my symptoms are starting to peek up a bit.
I thought about inviting the lady downstairs when her kids are there the next time to hear it for herself and maybe she would then understand the seriousness... ?
Posted 1/26/2012 8:46 PM (GMT 0)
Wow you did well. You certainly informed yourself well.
Im sorry I didn't know you had to pay so much to leave. Its a bugger and the last I would want if I was you is to pay my own money when it's not my fault!

Can't wait to see the outcome!
Posted 1/26/2012 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, you DO have a stressful job! yikes. Definitely important to know how to handle things accordingly regarding traffic issues. But home life (where recovery from the job happens) should be a place of solitude.

Maybe you and the woman can have a meeting with the manager as a moderator? At least you can see her perspective and hopefully she will see yours.

It's tough for sure,
q
Posted 1/27/2012 6:21 AM (GMT 0)
I agree with Quincy that we all need a refuge at home. However, it's impossible to negotiate with irrational people; they cannot step into the other party's shoes. They want things THEIR way. What is outrageous in LivingAgain's situation is that the bldg management refuses to allow an exception to the lease when it is clearly warranted. Does the shaking chandelier have to fall out of its socket before management acknowledges problem behavior upstairs? / Old Hat (31 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)
Posted 1/27/2012 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
Old Hat,
I can't understand that either... they say they feel they have done everything they can to resolve the issue. Clearly the issue is not resolved so I guess if the ceiling fixtures fell out of the ceiling they would have to at least acknowledge it enough for maint. to come fix it :)

I spoke with my therapist about the aggravating behavior and dead end to my solution and she suggested going to the property management company or the owner of the complex itself. She seems to think they would be more interested in my happiness with the place than a law suit because of the management, especially dealing with an illness and potentially making it worse. So, I am going to send them a copy of the letter and supporting documents and see if they can't make things right one way or another...
I am hoping that all of this will not only get resolved for my sake, but by posting it here it will maybe help others that have similar situations to get something done for them as well. Us UCers don't need anymore stress or drama than we already have...
I will keep you guys posted... and thanks for all your thoughts and suggestions..
Posted 1/27/2012 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
I think that's the best next step to take. Looking forward to hearing what happened.

Wonder if things don't change above, that if they can offer you some sound proofing on the ceiling???
That way they won't have to deal with the other tenant.

q
Posted 1/29/2012 2:41 AM (GMT 0)
A doctors note is all you need to break your lease its the LAW hahahahah check it out !
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