To The Moderators

Red_34, notsosicklygirl, sherbear46,

I want an explanation.

Earlier this evening, I posted a new topic titled, Inappropriate Gifts For Valentine's Day. The post was intended to provoke laughter as is much of my writing here. Within a few minutes of its appearing the post had three replies, one of which came from an unnamed party who made unexpectedly lewd and offensive remarks and, later, another from beatUC which I quote below:

"I am deeply offended by this thread and ask that it be deleted, locked or flushed! It's all fun until someone loses an eye..."

By the time the second of these comments appeared, I had answered the party that had made the lewd remarks, objecting to them and demanding that their author delete them or that I would seek the moderator's help in deleting them. Within a short time sherbear46 had responded to beatUC's request, replying as follows:

"I have deleted parts of it. I cannot lock a thread yet. If its still offensive let me know. I didn't find Captains first comment offensive myself but you still may."

The upshot of sherbear46's intervention, remarkably, was that my objection to the lewd comments - which, incidentally, was virtually identical to beatUC's, - was deleted, leaving the distinct impression that the thread itself, not simply the comments of the offending party, was at least potentially still offensive. Is one to conclude that only beatUC's understanding of things merits attention, that only her attitudes determine how justice is to be done here? Is there possibly a perverse kind of sexism in operation in this case? It certainly has that appearance doesn't it, a female moderator responding to a female complaintant yet deleting an identical complaint from a male. I most forcefully object to the manner in which this intervention was conducted and want an apology.

Thank you, notsosicklygirl, for your reply and for the spirit in which you made it. Here's what needs to be done:

I think that sherbear needs to walk-back her comment:

"I have deleted parts of it. I cannot lock a thread yet. If its still offensive let me know".

This remark has the effect of ceding to beatUC the powers of a moderator! Either the post was objectively offensive to sherbear acting as our moderator or it wasn't. To temporize by leaving a final determination in the hands of beatUC is both an abdication by sherbear of her responsibility and an injury to me. It clearly leaves the impression that a partly sanitized thread could still be objectively offensive if only beatUC were to say so at a later time. As we know, I got no such treatment. My comments were simply deleted. I want an apology for that.

I thought the toilet water thing was funny too, I reposted the joke (in part) on my face book and got
lots of laughs from my friends. I missed the offending remark-

Carlie

Ah okay....that explains it! lol No, Sherri - what you did was right and you had every right to step in. It was just a misinterpretation is all.

Red_34

"Ah okay....that explains it! lol No, Sherri - what you did was right and you had every right to step in. It was just a misinterpretation is all."

Very sorry, Red_34, that doesn't explain it. My reply to Somedude naturally recapitulated what he said so that I could indicate precisely what it was that I was unhappy with. And here, just above, just moments ago, sherbear herself offers a vivid description of the offending content! I did no more than this. Is she now to delete her own post?

Look, I'm not making a kind of supplication here. Either I get a meaningful apology from sherbear or I'm out of here. I didn't come here to be abused and judged. Fix the situation or I'm gone.

Post Edited (Captain Ca-Ca) : 2/9/2012 7:35:44 AM (GMT-7)

to add to the original post in question... Dont buy your girlfriend toilet paper or depends for Valentines day either...
-just sayin.

Carlie

beatuc, I actually thought your comment was sarcasm, particularly with the "flushing" comment. I missed whatever was deleted so I can't comment on that except to say it does not sound worthy of deleting, but then again, I did not read it...

Post Edited (beeswax) : 2/9/2012 8:24:26 AM (GMT-7)

No need for anyone to get personally offended here---moderators or posters. It is difficult to understand sarcasm and dry humor without knowing someone in person. This is the risk of being part of a forum where you can only see a few lines of text and make a judgement on a person. If you don't like something---keep reading and move on. If it is morally offensive and hurts someone intentionally then the moderators need to step in. Everyone needs to get a little thicker skin and not be so sensitive so we can continue to still be there to support and help one another.

Sorry-I'm a mom and like to play peacemaker.

As a former moderator, I'd like to remind Captain Ca-Ca that moderators are human and therefore not perfect.

::GASP::

And they're never going to be able to please everyone, nor should they have to try to do so.

If you don't want to offend people these days then don't open your mouth. I am 31 years old and the stuff that people get bent out of shapes these days is ridiculous. I feel old when i tell someone older than myself to growup and take a joke.

Why is this still an issue? Let's get back to diarrhea. And I completely agree with Dsm4life.

I think everyone deserves a drink here. And the diarrhea talk will come easily (if not the diarrhea itself).

Never mind diarrhea talk, when I drink I get talk diarrhea (ie. I can't shut up).