Have you lost friends due to uc?

This disease has really showed me who my real friends are. I am 30 and have always had some health problems (celiac disease, anxiety), but this is much more of an intense disease (at least for me). Last time I was admitted to the hospital in December I lost 2 really good (well I had thought they were good prior) friends because of my posts in Facebook ... One flat out told me to get over myself and stop feeling sorry for myself (after I had been really supportive to her for something much more minor) and another friend who just flat out unfriended me and then blocked me. I had to find out through a mutual friend what happened.


Has this happened to anyone else and is there even a way to not take it personal? I have learned from my mistake last time and haven't been posting or talking about it nearly as much.

That's a good idea about starting a blog, I am a writer so I usually find that getting my thoughts down makes me feel better, and the blog would be good idea so then it would be only those that really know me and really want to know what's going on to follow. Thank you!

Ah great subject! I can see you are 30. Im 35 and started to lose some friends around that time also. It's a funny age where poeple just go their own way sometimes for no reason, sometimes they start a family and sometimes you just don't agree anymore!

So with UC it can be a challenge. I had a friend who was dealing with a divorce and had a young baby so probable the last thing she wanted to ear was about the pneumonia i was hospitalised for at that time! For me having this was the biggest thing and for her it was her divorce. It's normal to retract yourself when you are having difficulties and to only think about this. Human nature.

You are learned to not post on facebook and its good because anyone can mislead the meaning of what you write. When you have UC you tend to isolate yourself and so when you meet others you tends to not always listen to them because you havent socialise for so long! you feel a bit clumsy!

I lost a friend who was a nutritionnist and was preaching me about my diet and how my colitis must be affected from what i eat and now that she has kids she has real priorities and ill understand when i have some... that kind of speach ! Didnt speak to her in a year or so when she messaged me stating: i know we arent friends anymore but could you help me please I have been sick the last year with lots of bms and blood and so on... And while I dont wish anyone to have uc i felt good that maybe she would understand more.

The good thing about being in your 30s is that most poeple go out less... and drink less so you can manage to rebuild you social network through some interest of yours (camera club, knitting, cycling, whatever you like) and meet maybe once a week or every other week. Friends dont feel the urge to call or meet so often s when you are 20. So its easier to manage maybe a day out without too many consequences...

I know it hurts to be blocked or to lose friends however you learned to not overexpose your personal life and at the end of the day in their life they just werent ready to support you. Doesnt mean they dont love you or care or you dont deserve support it just means they werent ready or in that zone or in their priorities. Just move on. Youll make new friends. :P

hope it helps
stefanie

twizliz77 said...
Lol oh yes, my furry friends always take the best care of me when I am not feeling well--- they are always so perceptive about how I am feeling and what I need (as long as they get what they need... ie wet cat food lol)

 

In my case, it's milk bones, with granola.  My dog eats as healthy as I do...LOL

I would rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies. I only have a handful of real friends, never lost any- 1 Ive
had since high school. Many live in different states, we catch up all the time. I try really hard not to isolate and when we get together, I will not talk about my disease. They all know, they occasionally ask how I am, Im cool with it. Its not all about me... Im more interested in hearing about their adventures in life and how they are doing.

Carlie

That is a great expression! Honestly I wouldn't sweat it...they aren't good friends to begin with if they bail on you because of that. All of my friends are sympathetic about my condition. The disease still hurts friendships by dampering the activities I can participate in but I guess that's just part of it...it's hard to be in your 20s and not able to go out to eat/drink with friends!

I have been lucky, I have not lost friends over having UC but I hid my UC for a very long time from others and never spoke about it much on facebook. Also as I am older my friends are all ages, so the older understand more the younger ones I try not to talk about it much apart from it is a terrible disease and I hope they never get it. Of course my family (3 young children and a husband) have all been exposed to UC in a very unveiled manner and have seeen first hand the implications on every day life. I am luck my UC is in remission and we meaning my family friends and I all have a reprieve at the moment. I am committed to staying in remission so work hard to maintain my diet as this allows the freedom to have a life with friends and work colleages without getting embarrassed in comprimising situations. Like the others have said when you are in your 30's people friends start to move away through work, spouse and child and living life commitments. It is not always because we have UC, but to those who don't understand like the other person said "there is the door"

mum of 3

I've been fortunate too. I have never lost any friends due to my Uc or other health issues. Most of my friends I have known for 20+ years (one of them for 32 years). I was sort of guarded when I was first diagnosed because back then, these things just weren't talked about. So when the social acceptance to speak of more intimate things came about, I started talking more about it.

I do not have but close friends and family on my FB. I do not hesitate to talk about my Uc on there either. They have traveled the road with me and have help me overcome many things. I feel very fortunate to have these friends by my side.