Depressed OR Fatigued From UC??

I've been posting more questions than helpful advice lately, and I'm sorry if that comes off the wrong way to anyone. I am keeping tabs on the threads, and trying to chime in if I really have something important to add.

My UC is doing medium right now. I'm awaiting the two month mark for Imuran, and have had five Remicade infusions. I'm managing to work and spend some time with friends, and am hit and miss in regard to questioning my ability to travel in a car without having a restroom within a couple miles of me. I'm incredibly improved from January, when I had my worst flare to date. I'm very thankful for that.

I'm wondering if I have a depression problem that I need help for. Most of the time I don't think so, but it's hard to tell. They say that you get feeling lethargic when you're depressed, and your passions lose interest to you. But to me it's hard to distinguish between that and just needing rest while my colon heals. I find myself feeling very blah when I'm fatigued, and I feel like I'm someone else trapped in a situation I can't escape. I am not so bad that I'm not making time for friends or family, but I feel a little distanced between them and myself. I went golfing yesterday and was just kind of edgy towards the two people I was with. Some of it is that I feel not so well on Imuran (nausea, general feeling of being slightly poisoned). I don't show this down side of me a lot, as I in general have a humorous attitude and a smile on my face. But things are getting to me. I can't seem to pick a direction in my life that I'm dying to follow, although the well rested and healthy me is so full of passions that there is never enough time. I'm definitely feeling lonely, too. I'm not actively pushing very hard to find a relationship at present, as I think I need a little time to sort things out and heal.

What do you think?

A depressed person can't just turn a switch on and be happy, tx213. lol. That's what I'm trying to distinguish here, because I can't seem to flip that switch even though I want to!

I appreciate your enthusiasm though, and agree with you in principle.

Let me give a couple examples of what I'm trying to sort out:

-I've wanted to have my house in order in a way where I have a music room for playing/recording piano music that I am at times passionate about, AND also have my house in order so that I enjoy having company over in it. Well, I have set up a music room and I hardly am ever in it. I have no motivation. Also, I've gotten a decent amount of furniture and such set up in the living areas for company, but have not had energy to finish things... let alone have anyone except an occasional buddy over. I'm just not able to do those things in any sort of timely manner. When I think of having people over, I think... maybe in a few months I'll be feeling better and will have gotten everything set up nicely.

-I also want to be out in the world more, getting involved in things like classes, art type happenings and cultural activities. I want to be getting an education, even if it's slowly. I want to be involved in group atmospheres. But my general attitude is that I am tired, hurting, and just want to hide out at home until I'm better.

Post Edited (Thoreau) : 7/1/2012 11:03:45 PM (GMT-6)

Thor,

You don't sound clinically depressed to me at all, you sound thoughtful, engaging and insightful.

UC can be depressing, especially when you aren't feeling well and for someone as young as you are, but being in a depressing situation and feeling low or down is different than being clinically depressed.

I think your bang on with your own prescription about needing some healing time.

Make sure you get some sunshine, eat well and get good rest. It's probably a good idea to get some bloodwork done too...get your iron checked and stuff. You are wise to be doing some self evaluation and if necessary go and talk to a counselor or someone who doesn't prescribe pills.

There is a great book by Dr. Bernie Siegal called Love, Medicine and Miracles. It specifically talks about cancer but it's a helpful book for someone who is facing a life changing challenge. I highly recommend you read that.

I'm just giving my perception, I'm no expert. And I do hope you start feeling a bit better just knowing that there's a whole lot of people here who are rooting for you. I for one appreciate all the questions and answers here. Glad you posted!

Good luck

I just read the part about your music room...that sounds awesome! We have a piano and upright bass in our living room. My husband is a jazz as well as other types of music enthusiast....be patient with yourself.

I have been both fatigued and depressed and I think it sounds like you're dealing with depression. For me, overall, I am always fatigued. I've been dealing with the fatigue for way longer than the depression but I have been dealing with both way longer than UC. I think you should talk to a doctor about your depression and see if there are any options. It may help with your fatigue on top of your depression. A music room may also help with both...

NSSG, since you have dealt with both... and I know you're very experienced with UC, I'll ask you. How do you know it's depression vs. dealing emotionally with UC? It's so hard to know. Tonight I went walking my dog once the sun went down, and my mind was just there without emotion. I wasn't hating it, but I would rather have been resting on the couch. My mind just felt empty of happiness. I thought of my life and how it feels like it is just passing by, and that I'm always just trying to heal rather than doing what I want to be doing.

Thanks, q.

Why was the word watches censored in my previous post?

I think being evaluated by a psychologist is a good idea. A primary care dr will give you a quick depression inventory and talk to you for a couple of minutes whereas a psychologist will spend an hour or more with you and really look at your feelings from all angles. They can then recommend meds, continued therapy, or tell you that you are probably just tired from the UC. Seeing a psychiatrist would be ideal as they can do both but the wait to see a psychiatrist is usually months.

If you do decide to try medication, discuss GI side-effects with the dr. SSRI's can increase bowel motility so if you already have issues with diarrhea, this could exacerbate the problem. I have found that Wellbutrin is a bit constipating which, in my case, was quite helpful. It has also been investigated as a supplementary treatment for IBD because it seems to suppress TNF-alpha like Remicade (but to a lesser degree).

Have you mentioned your feelings to your GI?

Thoreau, I dont think you're depressed, I think you may have adrenal fatigue. People over look this when they are constantly tired, lacking, fatigued or stressed. Have your blood levels checked, do a round-the-clock test for adrenals and see if they are responsible. With all of the stress going on + medication, can = adrenal fatigue.

I was wondering, too, how are you Thoreau? What did you decide to do?