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Posted 8/2/2012 3:23 PM (GMT 0)
I've recently saw a lot of article on the new about psychological abuse (verbal/emotional). It's now coming out how dangerous it is to our health and how widely unreported it is.

I grew up in a verbally abusive environment and think being in that environment for so long help create the condition to give me UC. My dad also had stomach ulcers from stress so I'm sure I'm programmed that stress go to my gut as well.

Just wonder who else experience long-term trauma as a child and now has UC...
Posted 8/2/2012 3:49 PM (GMT 0)
Dr.Gabor Mate would say that most illnesses and cancers are strongly linked to the repression of emotion or to simply put it, out of control stress. From my own experience, I wouldn't say that stress caused my UC, but it certainly was one of the risk factors that nudged the disease along.
Posted 8/2/2012 4:46 PM (GMT 0)
I've obviously inherited my tendencies for illness. While I grew up in a very dysfunctional home, I wasn't "abused". I've always had some sort of emotional crisis happening, therapy definitely helped.

Some people just shouldn't have kids.

q
Posted 8/2/2012 5:11 PM (GMT 0)
Most of my stress comes from work and I do believe that verbal/emotional stress can cause flares. I also believe that stress causes this disease.
Posted 8/2/2012 5:14 PM (GMT 0)
My mother was terribly abusive, more verbal than physical but we all got our smacks in the head and such routinely as far as I'm concerned...it was too much, so I definitely grew up in a very scary and insecure way but mom had her own issues....escaping Hungary during the revolution with a baby and a 8 yr old and being a police officer at the time had to be stressful on her and I'm sure she had post traumatic stress as a result...I don't think she necessarily wanted to be so mean to what ended up being 6 of us kids, it's just the way it turned out.

You'd think I'd be able to handle stress better given the circumstances...I was under a severe amount of personal stress for about a year before I got sick and I'm sure it played it's role in me getting sick with CD...funny thing though, my mom didn't get sick with her UC until her mid 60's (by then she was a calmer person but still needed to be on meds to aid with her mood).


Therefore, the rest of my siblings also grew up in a very stressed environment, they are all older than me, to date none of them have an IBD (but there's nothing say one or more of them won't develop it at some point still, afterall, I may have been in my early 20's when I got sick, but mom was in her mid 60's....I just hope for their sakes they don't get an IBD.
Posted 8/2/2012 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
Yes. From school and home. More verbal at home though.

You think you're over it then this happens.
Posted 8/2/2012 7:53 PM (GMT 0)

Sibby said...
Yes. From school and home. More verbal at home though.

You think you're over it then this happens.

Yup..What happen to what doesn't break you makes you stronger? lol I feel like it broke me. I'm sure my mom had her issues growing up but there's no excuse to take it out on me! I even got bullied in school ..so I got it coming and going.

It seem like if you get treated like a victim you become a victim. I'm slowly seeing that at work too. Once I start having medical issues I get responsibilities taken away from me. They think they are helping you but they're not. It only giving the appearance that you can't handle it. If I can't handle something I would say so and adjust. I am an adult..ya know! wink

Guess I need to have a talk with my supervisor! Work stress doesn't bother me. I just need to get through this episode in my life.
Posted 8/2/2012 8:24 PM (GMT 0)
i grew up in a very physically abusive and verbally abusive household. my mom was and is amazing, but my father is an alcoholic and that was very hard on my sister and i growing up. we were terrified of leaving our mom and eventually going to school- needed to see counselors every morning before class. we were both a wreck because we never knew what my dad would do next.

i didn't get diagnosed with proctitis until i was 17, but my entire life i had GI issues and IBS. my mom had stomach ulcers and my dad (diagnosed when my mom was pregnant with me) has the best case of UC imaginable (remission for 23 years- no meds. what the heck??)

the stress, i'm sure, had a lot to do with why i was constipated all the time.
Posted 8/2/2012 8:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Joanne,

I recall in one of your post how you're dad treated you badly for not being able to get in remission. It's amazing how someone with the disease can be so hurtful. I hope you have a way to cope with this. That's what's so great about this forum...we can count on each other to get us through.


HUGS to everyone!!!!
Posted 8/2/2012 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
peaceandharmony, yeah, i haven't spoken with my dad or seen him since march. he just kept saying how i'm anorexic and am acting like i have a disease just to get attention. i think because he had such a mild case of UC, he will never understand or try to understand how bad it can be.

i just surround myself with people that are nice and understanding now- mostly just my family, a few friends, and this site!
Posted 8/2/2012 8:59 PM (GMT 0)
My background is one of torture and abuse by an older N azi brother. Among other fun stunts, he once locked me in a coffin sized box for over 12 hours.
Whether this abusive environment caused or "brought on" my UC, I can never be sure of, I am just not convinced of the link.
In my case, the abuse was about 30 years before diagnosis.
This is a very interesting topic for me for obvious reasons.

Post Edited (beatUC) : 8/2/2012 3:02:08 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/2/2012 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
Isn't it soooo sad when the people that we're suppose to trust and that are suppose to love us are often the ones that treat us the worst...it must have been bad enough being bullied at school, then to get it at home too...that is so tragic...I actually feel sorry for the bullies too though, they are obviously very messed up and unhappy people....oddly enough it didn't turn me into a physically or verbally abusive mom or wife...or person really. I mean we all have our angry moments, but to live that way (as a bully) day in and day out....I wouldn't want to be them.
Posted 8/2/2012 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Interesting: as i read the comnents here i realise how much stress i was under growing up- i was abused by my sister (who had issues of her own dealing with a disability) ...i mean she wouldnt hit me but she made the entire family live through terror by doung crazy things like throwing tantrums just before going out, breaking my belongings and throwing my stuff out into the neighbours yard...then she would apologize and i would feel sorry for her and go back to talking/playing with her then she would do it all over again! She has done so many crazy things like breaking windows, locking the door on me, spitting on me etc. she would always get away with it coz she has a disability.
Right now our relationship is much better: but i can't help but think that all these miserable years i lived through must have played a part.

Although, life is tough! And there are many people out there who have experienced much worse things...so why don't they get uc or crohns? I dunno but i dont recall my childhood as being an unhappy one. But there were many stressful times. I also think its how we react to stress as well: hence why not everyone exposed to stress develops this disease even within the same family. Im a perfectionist and a bit of an 'uptight' person and i like to be in control of things- maybe i turned out like this coz there was alot of out-of-control things in my childhood?
Whatever it is im not bitter ir resentful...i still think ive had an overall pretty good life leading up to this disease. I was very happy with what i have achieved leading up to my uc..
Posted 8/2/2012 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so glad to hear some positive ways on dealing with this. It's nice to not be alone.
The best thing I ever did was break free of my mom and sister. I knew this day would be coming as far back as 1978! I just had to get up the courage to face the truth. It's hard being a young kid with this type of abuse...no physical scares. Everyone back then thought I was exaggerating or making things up for attention. Now that I'm 43...people believe me. Even my cousin confirmed it to me. She watched me grow up and said "that's abuse!". Wish someone could have done something about it. I was powerless being a kid!

I even had my sister attack me while I was finishing up on the toilet one evening. Our family was seeing a counselor and she accused me of "telling lies about the family". She literally threw me out of the bathroom and I landed on the carpet with rug burns on both forearms. All my mom did was hoover over me telling how I "brought this all onto myself". Gee...we had separate sessions. There's no way she would have know what I said to begin with!

Now that my dad has passed away..all I hear about is how poorly he was treated. One of my friend recalls my mom calling my dad a "good for nothing". He was the one who worked and paid for the house, food, and clothing. She didn't.
These people are Psycho and I have come to accept that now.

I certainly learned to stand up for myself...but this disease is now holding me back from that. Now I'm worried how things will impact my condition. It's like walking on egg shells! There's a fine balance. The question, "is it worth it" always comes up. Sometimes this question never gets answered no matter which way you choose to go. The good thing is you learn to move on with your life.

Surrounding yourself with the people who have a positive influence on your life is the best thing you can do.
Posted 8/3/2012 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
My dad took majorly sick when I was about 8. He had a grand mal epileptic seizure in the middle of one night, w/o any prior warning. So my mother started yelling for me to get up and help her; well, I went to see what was wrong & there was my dad lying on the floor, thrashing around & foaming from his mouth. What could an 8 yr-old do about that? Long story short, it turned out that he had an incurable & progressively disabling neurological disorder of unknown origin! Over the next 26 yrs he went steadily downhill to a point where he lost the ability to swallow, got IV nutrition, started pulling out tubes, got sedated, and finally died of aspiration pneumonia. My mother was trying to feed him a lollipop during his final hour! Refusal to acknowledge reality is a kind of abuse that can make households dysfunctional & more stressful than they have to be! P & H, you are absolutely right about a UCer's need to find supportive associates. / Old Hat (31 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)
Posted 8/3/2012 12:48 AM (GMT 0)
stress is so HARD on my belly :( always has been
Posted 8/3/2012 2:44 AM (GMT 0)
I believe the abuser usually suffers a much worse fate than the abused, After years of it, I turned a corner and have had the most amazing ride.
The abuser did not fare so well.......
Posted 8/3/2012 6:05 AM (GMT 0)
Nobody in my family ever had uc or any ibd at all. I'm the first and i've done some digging. I was under major stress before dx with uc. Then my best friend was paralyzed neck down in a car accident and almost didn't survive for a month. I was under major stress from fighting with my gf at the time and just everything was going wrong in my life. Then my dad died. I developed symptoms while all this was going on. I am 100% sure my body couldn't handle it anymore and invited UC into me. I've learned to control stress a lot. A lot has changed for me. I don't have a stressful job and I've learned to chill the heck out and brush off a lot of stuff that used to drive me into a stress binge. Now if I can just get my body to kick out the UC for doing such a good job staying away from stress lol.
Posted 8/3/2012 11:08 AM (GMT 0)
I was bullied at school for years but I never thought of a connection to my illness. I developed some social anxiety though. I had therapy for quite a bit and it helped a little but I never got rid of it completely.
Posted 8/3/2012 1:37 PM (GMT 0)
but don't you guys think that the way we dealt with the abuse could also be a huge factor in developing UC/IBD/gastric issues? Obviously we all tended to internalize our emotions... I grew up in a semi-abusive household, verbally. My fahter was an active alcoholic most of my life, yet a good provider nonetheless. I had your basic "normal" upper middle class upbringing. Having worked in the non-profit hlthcare field for a decade now, with emphasis on drug & alcohol & mental hlth. issues, I've found that nearly *everyone* has experienced some sort of trauma or abuse as a child. And not everyone develops UC. I'm loathe to think there's a causal effect, truly.
Posted 8/3/2012 3:17 PM (GMT 0)
I grew up in a very disfunctional household. Hopefully it's not related to this UC but I wouldn't be surprised if it were. I am sorry to hear so many of us have similar stories.
Posted 8/3/2012 4:25 PM (GMT 0)

Eva Lou said...
but don't you guys think that the way we dealt with the abuse could also be a huge factor in developing UC/IBD/gastric issues? Obviously we all tended to internalize our emotions... I grew up in a semi-abusive household, verbally. My fahter was an active alcoholic most of my life, yet a good provider nonetheless. I had your basic "normal" upper middle class upbringing. Having worked in the non-profit hlthcare field for a decade now, with emphasis on drug & alcohol & mental hlth. issues, I've found that nearly *everyone* has experienced some sort of trauma or abuse as a child. And not everyone develops UC. I'm loathe to think there's a causal effect, truly.

 

 Not everyone develops it because I believe one has to be predisposed to getting an IBD and stress would be considered a trigger for the disease, but you'd pretty much have to be predisposed to getting an IBD in order for the stress to trigger the disease....I'm the only one in my family besided my mom, that has an IBD but I have 2 sisters that have IBS (I do as well) and that likely was brought on by the stress our mother gave us growing up...plus, each person's trigger will vary when it comes to IBD.

Posted 8/3/2012 4:29 PM (GMT 0)
There was a fair amount of verbal abuse in my household growing up, and I would definitely notice my stomach clenching up every time it would happen. Interestingly, at my last job I had a verbally abusive supervisor and I noticed, for the first time since I moved out of my parents house, that I had that same stomach clenching feeling almost every day at work. And, less than a week after leaving that job I flared for the first time in 6 years. Coincidence? Probably not.

I agree with Eva Lou, though, that it's largely our own interpretation of what the abuse means that is the key factor. I'm very sensitive and have a tendency to internalize things, and definitely took the verbal abuse very personally as a kid. I've been working to rewrite my mental script about what other people's behavior means. I finally understand that when other people abuse it's because THEY ARE ABUSIVE, not because I deserve it or did something to make them behave that way. In realizing this, I feel much more able to let other people's crap roll off my back. I've noticed my stress level going down as I've worked through this issue too, because I feel safer in the world and more able to recognize abusive behavior and defend myself. Lower stress = less/more mild UC symptoms, so for me there is definitely some correlation.
Posted 8/3/2012 10:37 PM (GMT 0)
I took a genetic test from 23and me. My test results for IBD came back extremely low...about .02% chance! I have more of a chance developing RA (24%)...but got UC instead. I think it just they I'm programmed to handle stress. My dad had stomach ulcers due to stress...mine just show up in my colon.

I do think the environment played a BIG part for me. I was also under multiple stressors when the symptom/diagnoses came about. Guess it was the straw that broke the camel's back!

Studying for the CPA (1 year into it)
House hunting
Husband unexpectantly lost his job - used as a scapegoat so to cover his supervisor's ass!
Our lease was up in 2 months and wasn't going to be renewed by the owners.

Things got worst after the diagnosis and so did my symptoms. shakehead
Posted 8/4/2012 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
Stress is huge for me.

At the time of the birth of my UC, I was in an emotionally manipulative relationship. I was just trying to wrap my head around everything my girlfriend was saying and keeping up with the lies. She was brutally insane.

I still can't get her out of my head 2 years later...
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