I average crapting my pants 2 times per week

And it's always in the mornings. Like today for example:

I woke up, and had to go poo. A little squirting came out with a bit of blood yada yada. This doesn't count.

Maybe 10 minutes later, I need to go again. Now it's the real deal. But, I don't feel empty still. I know more is coming...when, I don't know. It will vary.

So, I take a shower and walk around aimlessly. I then dress for work...and now it hits me again. Another real deal.


So, so far I've had 2 BM. Now, this is the risky part. I need or it seems that I need to have 3 BM. But, it's getting late and I have to leave for work.

So, I get in my car and pray. This morning I got 3/4 and it hit me again. I'm like: Motherf.....here we go again.

So, I'm holding "Enemy at the gates" again...common...hold it, I see the Apple clinic in sight. They have a toilet inside. ALL SUDDEN, it stops, my feeling to go, goes away. W.T.F.

I'm like....ok.....what do I do now, do I stop, or do I go all the way to work. F..... it, I go all the way. WRONG!!!...Not even past a street, the feeling came back with a vengeance. O.M.G.

I manage to get to like 100 m from a Gabriels Pizza using all my Jedi powers to hold it in. There is a toilet there also, but I can't get out of my car. It takes all my strength to hold it steady.

A minute later, I couldn't hold it no more, so I let go. Ahhhhhh, what a relief. Now, I have to go back home...and be late again for work. grrrrrrrr

Strangely enough, it doesn't affect me so much after work...or during work time.

The colon is one sick vile pony. When I got close to the clinic, it stopped pushing, hinting to me..."No no, you're ok..go ahead, there's no problem...hehehehe.... then BOOM.

Oh, and if I wait for the THIRD bowel movement at home....it never comes.

I can't win here.

What can you do? Man! Maybe get up early have some coffee that makes me go. See if you can chg when you last eat or what you eat the night before! This really sucks! I hate this thing!!!!

Aw somedude, I feel so bad for you. I think the coffee and an earlier morning could be helpful.

I have an emergency bucket in my van. It's a good sturdy bucket with a lid I have bags, TP, wipes, spare undies, pads and a towel. The bags are to line the bucket and for my soiled clothes. I haven't actually had to poop in it yet but I've had to do an undie change, but the insurance drops the anxiety and stress about 75 points.

Even though you're a guy, I'd seriously consider buying the super thin light days to protect from 'sharts' They make them so thin, you can't see them. I wear two or three up the back. (I also wear heavier cloth pads with liners, the washable kind that women who've had a baby wear) Again, really reduces stress. I can't believe I'm actually admitting that, but these last few weeks have sure changed me. I'm mortified at the thought of not making it to the bathroom.

Hey, hope you feel better for sharing. We're with you.

I always used to have to go so bad when I was in the grocery store.  Always.  But I would stop in my tracks, let all my muscles relax, close my eyes and take deep, slow breaths.  I'd always be able to stop whatever spasms were happening and never had an accident.  Sometimes I would even close my eyes and imagine something calming.  I probably looked ridiculous but not as ridiculous as crapping my pants in the produce department.  And I've been close.  Like heart-pounding, sweaty-faced close. 

Maybe you could pull over somewhere and just try to relax your entire body and mind.  I know it sounds hokey, but it really did help.

What meds are you taking? You need to get things underr control so you can get to work safely without these problems.

Somedude, have you tried eliminating fructose from your diet? I had a hydrogen breath test done last year and determined my small intestine does not digest fructose therefore when I eat large amounts of it (honey, fruit, wheat, HFCS, etc, etc) I do have accidents. It's pretty crazy, but a large amount of fructose will produce a sure fire accident for me the next day. The day after I took the test (where I had to intentionally ingest a large amount of fructose) I had a major accident in public. Not cool.

pb4 said...
Somedude....you need a faster car LOL!

hahahahahaha.....that's the solution I was looking for.

LOL Somedude, I couldn't resist!!

Dude, rad post...had a good chuckle. Sorry. im going through the same thing. Your butt definitely has a mind of its own and it can play tricks on you... Mornings are the worst for me too, but now im starting to do an afternoon dump that never used to be there. Anyway i work nights so i dont know that feeling of being trapped in a car trying to find the nearest head.. i just run to the head when i have to go. Been some seriously close calls though....YA when i do travel early in the morning i take amodiom AD or try to out smart my butt into getting it all out before hand. .good luck bro!!!

Feel for you. My wife always asks why I get up so early? When I'm flaring its always get up and wonder around the house a couple hours before I have to leave. I also drive big rigs hauling equipment around the desert so there have been many times I've had to pull off to the side of the road. Lucky there's not much traffic where I'm at.

Eva Lou said...
I'm averaging about 3-4 accidents a month these days.... with the heavy duty meds! Ah well. about 2 years ago, I broke down & did what pb4 did- I have a car with tinted windows, & I have a square container about 12x12 on all sides, about 15 inches high with a snap tight lid. That's my car potty! I line it with plastic grocery bags, & if (when) that urge hits, I pull over ASAP, dive in the back & do my business. Then when I get to where I need to be, I tie the bag tightly, throw it in the nearest dumpster, & that's it. It's way less demoralizing than going in my pants, & there's usually little to no mess. Still sucks, but... On really bad mornings I take a dose of Immodium to get me to work- once I'm there I could care less how many times I'm in the bathroom! And I get up around 5:30 to leave the house around 8:00.

Well, that's pretty much my story. but give or take 1-2 more accidents.

Ain't that messed up. We are on the strongest meds and this bullcrap is still happening.

bananagirl said...


i just have to say you are one of the bravest people i "know." if i had an accident in the car, i wouldn't drive again for fear of crashing... but you just keep on going no matter what.

lol, why would you fear of crashing if you go in your pants? When I go in your pants in the car, it's no different than if I were sitting on the toilet.

I drive and my butt does it's thing.

Sounds like we all know that dilemma, too well. I had a 45 minute commute and knew where all the restrooms were on the way.

Try eating something first thing in the morning, in addition to coffee if your gut can handle coffee. Eating stimulates your bowel, might help you clean out better.

I also found that if I had some supplies at the ready and/or wore a pad, my gut stayed more relaxed. There is definitely a mental piece to it!