"you need to get out more"

Oh, there's another good line I heard recently. I was giving somebody some back story about my situation (they needed to know). I said "it could be worse" and she replied "Sounds bad enough to me already."

A hug for you,AUC, I don't know if it really fits, but reading your story made this saying I came across recently come to mind.

" love your body because you cannot look after something you hate"

Seems to me, right now when you forego some of the social events, you are doing your best to love your body

Having a chronic illness is a moment by moment lifestyle. If we are to keep on living in a healthy way it's often wise to not look at the all-encompassing effects that this has on our life. You have been through an incredible amount of adversity since August. Please take some time to love yourself and appreciate the strength that you have managed to find thus far. Look at what YOU need at this moment, and do it for yourself.

One of my good friends tells me "I don't know how you do it, being sick so much". I tell him that it's really pretty easy to deal with it when the alternative is to be dead. He gets out all the time, socializes constantly and drinks in a way that would kill me ten times over. I'm okay with our differences though. I still manage to keep good friends, have a relationship, keep a nice home, spend time with my dog, work, etc...

When I was building my first home (I've built two) my dad was helping me. He told me "I don't think you give yourself enough credit for all that you do for yourself.". It's easy to lose track of how challenging our lives are at times.

I think it's key to love yourself, like Lodi is saying. Do what you can for yourself, and don't be mad if you have limits to what you can do while maintaining your health. Occasionally it's good to test your limits, and your friend may be just the encouragement you need to do that. Just make sure to not take on the world the first time you "get out".

Good luck!

"You need to get out more."

My response: "You need to be more sensitive."

Some people don't get it.

Ugh. My boyfriend told me he wants to go on a vacation in the next couple of months while its still cold. The only thing I could say to him is it'll have to wait until I'm feeling better....we don't know when that's going to be! I can't eat at restaurants...so much social stuff revolves around food. I can barely even grocery shop without having to run and do horrible things in a very public restroom. I've been doing short, quick trips several times a week so I don't have to do that. I've never been one to be super social, and UC has isolated me even more. I have friends that just don't get why I don't enjoy going out anymore. Very frustrating. At least my boyfriend is understanding 98% of the time (he has his whiny moments).

just remember, there are a lot of us who wouldn't have gotten it either if we'd been so lucky not to have gone through this -

don't want to start another "why i love this disease" thread, but every time most of us face some adversity, it makes most of us better friends, parents, co-workers, and people in general -

I am lucky to have a husband who is fine with my limitations...then again he is more of a homebody than I am!

Long, long ago I made peace with the fact that there are some things I would just never enjoy again, like picnics, camping, boating or anything that required standing patiently in line. Everyone has some kind of limititation, either physically or because of lack of money or opportunity, or responsibilities...this is mine. There are still many activities I can enjoy. I am privately proud of how well I handle it, especially that I keep my suffering to myself and do not seek sympathy from anyone. That said, sometimes I want to scream when friends complain about some minor or temporary problem with their gut!

my friends are sad that i can't go out, but they don't push me. i've always been a homebody anyway so they are used to it by now. some people just enjoying staying at home.

quincy said...
The perception others have about YOUR disease is how YOU pass that perception to them.

If you say things like "it could be worse"...it means that it's not "that bad"....the woman's response should humble you to realising it's BAD ENOUGH.

It irks me when someone passes the comment to me or others that it could be or could have been worse. It's mostly to say "I don't want to hear about it or deal with it". OR "that's nothing compared to whatever they may deem worse, so don't be a wuss".

My response is always "to what point is it bad enough so that you can empathise or sympathise?". One's suffering, disease, illness or experience cannot be the measuring stick for another's. Don't negate it for yourself, for others will do the same.

While it could have been worse, it's all relative to a specific situation. If it helps us put things into perspective...then that's weighing the reality of a situation to ease our freaking out about it. It doesn't change the fact that it's still difficult or serious in the moment or chronically and could be on the way to being much worse or a crisis, etc.
q

I agree with this.

+ plus we need to get out more. What is life?...being chained to a toilet in a house. I go see movies, I go play poker, I take chances and I flare like a mother....

I don't plan on being like this for the rest of my life or for the next 20 years like some people.

My response to such an idiotic statement would be "you need to stay in more"

Uhhhhh ignorant one-liners like that infuriate me!... And I hear them waaay too often. Before I was diagnosed it was, 'Its all in your mind, its just stress etc etc.'.. Since I've been diagnosed its 'What do you mean you're STILL sick.. How?'... 'It can't be that bad?'.. 'Why can't you go to work?' 'Why don't you just have the surgery?' etc etc.

People can be so ignorant and just don't understand this disease unless they have it.

Somedude... how bout you get the surgery and tell us how it goes!