Have I taken on too much?

Hi. I am new here. I was diagnosed with UC about six months ago and it's been a horrible roller coaster since. I am feeling quite scared about it all and just need a bit of encouragement/advice.

Before I was diagnosed I chose to put my family into a very precarious situation by returning to full time study. I am currently on a PhD scholarship and working a part time job but money is Super Tight (in fact we are going backwards a little each month - we have some meagre savings that are rapidly dwindling away). I am a 33 year old male and am accustomed to having ample energy to 'do it all' but now I am feeling like I have taken on too much and won't be able to succeed. I am terrified that I will have to drop out of postgrad study (even though I love it) because I won't be well enough, and on top of that my family will starve and it will be all my fault. I have one daughter and my wife really wants to have more children asap.

What have been others' experiences of managing finances/study/career with a young family? I am having a horrible time at the moment. One week I will feel healthy and energetic and feel like everything will be ok, but then BAM! the symptoms hit and my energy is totally sapped. For instance, today I was planning to spend a few hours working but I could barely get out of bed. This is not like me at all! I have virtually never been sick before this.
I am freaking out.
Are there strategies I could use to pace myself?
Or are there ways to get more in tune with my body and sense in advance when I am about to hit my limit and need to take it easy or rest? I get so rattled because the symptoms (especially fatigue) just hit me out of the blue when I least expect it.

Maybe you should make it a family decision. What treatments are you on?

I am currently using Salofalk enemas and taking 4 Balsalazide pills each day (I notice, though, that many people take up to 9 Balsa pills per day for mainatainance? My dose seems low considering I am still flaring?). I was originally on Sulfasalazine but was allergic to it.

Thank you for all your feedback/ advice. I guess I am going to have to reassess my priorites and time commitments at this point. It just feels to weird to me - as if I have suddenly been given a different body and I don't know what it can handle. The other day I offered to help a friend move some furniture and after an hour or so I had to call it quits and say 'sorry, I need to go home and rest'.

Cowboy - I'm going to be a bit blunt. Here's how bad UC got for me on the tiredness front. I was in graduate school (working on a Ph. D.) and working part time. No family to worry about. I basically had to stop working on my Ph. D and just focus on working part time. I went from being energetic to completely wiped out. My mom had to come help me do basic house chores occasionally on the weekends (I couldn't handle it even though I had alot of "free" time). I would sleep 12 hours, wake up, and go back to sleep for a few hours. Or...if going to work, I would sleep alot at night, go to work, then come home and go to sleep. My iron and nutrition were fine at that time, my body was just beat down. This lasted weeks. This illness can be harsh, it sucks, and can be a roller coaster ride.

I'm not saying this will happen to you. I just wanted you to know it can get pretty bad. You HAVE to take care of yourself. That includes eating healthy and getting enough rest. You might need to start saying "no" to some things....saying "no" to helping a friend move (I know it's hard), going to a gathering, etc. Search for "spoon theory" on google...basically you only have so many spoons to give to yourself and others, then you are tapped out - so use them wisely.

If you are really that worn out, tell your doctor. You might be anemic, you might have low iron stores, low B12, or low vitamin D. If those are low it can really wear you out.

I noticed that I would be particularly tired after I had been particularly active the day or several days before (and define "active" loosely...for me at the time that could have been two rushed 8 hours days at work...nothing too strenuous).

Don't give up on your goals, but just realize that you are going to be a bit energy limited until your UC is under control. Expanding your family might need to wait a bit (like I said, being blunt...I can't imagine the stress of a newborn and nighttime awakenings would be good) and as Peety said family support and understanding is crucial.

It will get better. For me, it took getting my colon removed (that's a drastic step but that's what I needed), for others it was finding the right drug, further still people find improvements with diet. Now I'm able to go about my day normally (back in school) and many others live life normally too. It just took finding the right "key".

I have to learn 24x7 in my job at a high tech startup company straining to be profitable, we had all day maintenance window saturday, I worked 2 years straight without a day off and on 24x7 pager and I am single parent 7 days a week, taking my daughter to basketball practice, games and now gynamistics. Took her to mall for clothes and salon for makeover this weekend. Meanwhile I still pay her mother my ex child support even though she has zero overnights, doing her taxes now.

I also went to daughters school last week and complained about a boy that has been harrassing her. I did all of this after surgery midweek where they ran 5 feet of cable from my femoral artery in my groin into my hand and was warned to rest, not squat and not lift more than 10 lbs, apparently they left a star-close metal clamp in me permanently.

Yeah I am doing too much and this big new house we built with monster payment leaves little room to just kick back and take a break.

I bought a book, something about the art of doing less....read a few pages and then had to get going again so I put it down.