Relationships and Colitis

Love is hard to come by, and colitis has complicated things even more. My experience has been awful with relationships, I developed this condition when I was 18, when my dating life was starting to come along.

My two most notable relationships ended with my ex-girlfriends leaving because they could no longer handle my limitations. In my heart, I have always been a gentleman and dreamt of finding my soul mate, but reality has struck hard. Being mistreated because of your condition is hurtful beyond words, and I reckon I have developed a fear of it all.

My friends tell me, you're fit, handsome, and intelligent, why are you worried? I am not worried about finding a girl to like me, there is no shortage on that end. My interest is in long term relationships. I am worried about losing my ability to trust the opposite sex with my emotions and my future. Even so, the guilt works both ways, because the last time I was in love, my partner was upset about me missing numerous celebrations because I was stuck in the bathroom at home. It frustrates me, and it terrifies me, especially since there is no simple way of finding someone with ulcerative colitis to date.

My husband jokes that I tricked him... since I didn't get diagnosed with Depression or UC until after the wedding. :D

Some people suck. Some people are awesome.
And some people are awesome enough for long term.

UC or not... trusting someone with your heart is hard. And we learn to deal with the "faults" of those we love (not that extra bathroom trips is OUR fault) because we love them.

If you haven't met anyone understanding or patient enough to deal with the fact that you have a chronic illness... then screw them anyways, selfish jerks!

All in all its a numbers game :D if youve got 100 woman lined up to date you off ur looks and personality... theres no way all 100 are shallow as puddle so much that they cant handle a medical condition to go along with those looks/personality.

In all honesty man, I wouldn't sweat it. Sounds like you're putting too much pressure on yourself. In my opinion, it's better to be left by someone not mature enough to understand or handle a tough situation, that way your time isn't wasted in finding the girl who will be there for you. I've been through exactly what you're talking about and I ended up finding my girl who i've been with for 3 years, she's supported me along the way. Even through the last 3 months of hell, it hasn't been easy on either of us but when you find that person you both make it work. Just keep being awesome and it will come. Relationships aren't easy, Colitis or not. Don't let any "failure" break you down, just roll with the punches until your time comes.

Part of the problem is probably age. Young people are still finding their way and often not looking at things in the long term so they can afford to be pickier. I don't know how old you are now but the older you get, many people look beyond things which might turn younger people off and start looking more at the person. I'm not saying that the problem will ever go away entirely but if you let it, it will get easier as you age. If you dwell on it, it could harm your psyche and make you look unattractive as a possible long term mate. There have been a few of us who found love even with this horrible disease.

"The key thing is finding a supportive partner "

a jock strap has always worked for me - might not be of any comfort for you bgirl :-(

but you still have us !