My good friend poked fun at colonoscopies!!!!

Ok so im fuming,
No, im more than fuming; i think ive already burnt some nerves.

My good friend who last yr drove more than an hour to visit me while i was sick, who i confide in and feel comfortable talking to about this illness: well she just today made a really insenstive comment: she said that (while we were talking about celiac disease dx of another friend) she was "glad she wasn't the one getting a colonoscopy" (she thought celiacs get regular colonscopies). And then she proceeded to describe the process of getting scoped "they stick something up your butt" while snickering and laughing a if this is something funny!!??

She probably does not know that i get colonoscopies too, but still how insensitive is that of her to poke fun at a medical procedure which some people have to endure!!!! Besides, how ignorant she must be that she doesn't know that UC does not involve colonoscopies. I mean for God's sake she just finished her honours in Science/psychology.

I think this was the final straw for me: im going to go on antidepressant because i cannot take this ****t from people anymore.

And worst: i have to hang out with her tomorrow pretending like i, too, find colonoscopies amusing. When im about to have one in feb next yr....

Hey I would honestly tell her that this is a necessary medical procedure and nothing to laugh about. Yes we have to endure this on a regular basis but honestly the only bad part is really just the preparation. When she's done laughing you could educate her. But seriously I get angry at such insensitive people too. Totally feel your fury.

I'm sad you have to take AD now because of your "friend".

I laughed out loud when I realized I had a balloon up my butt during the last scope.

You can either laugh or cry. I do enough crying. Why not laugh about a bunch of people gathered in a small room to stick a glorified garden hose up your no hole?

What a predicament but bottom line (no pun intended) is when you don't know, you don't know.

Take a breath and an empathetic hug from everyone here. I'd hate for you to lose such a close friend just because they are ignorant of facts. People who have never faced medical issues really don't know how things are.

It's a good opportunity to educate her about the difficulties that us chronically ill people face. Give her a way to come out of this without you compromising your own feelings and you'll both be better for it. Certainly don't pretend you agree with her. That kind of behaviour will make you end up on antidepressants.

Of course if she isn't really a person you want as a friend then just distance yourself.

I hope you don't go on antidepressants. We hear you and feel your pain

Good luck and come back and VENT anytime

Lucky for us, medical people pay no attention to bums,pimples or not!

it must be my cold and stuffy brain, but I'm somewhat missing why you're as angry as you are.

I actually never miss the opportunity to give it back....I would have said "yeah, I know how they're done, I've already had 10. However, it's not as funny as you're making it out to be," "

Talk about it with her tomorrow. But I suspect that her making fun of it blatantly points to the fact that the thought of having one scares her.

Take the opportunity to clear the air...much easier than fuming about something that you don't know where she's coming from.

q

I was going to say what quincy said. She's probably scared of them. I would probably have said "oh yeah, I've already had ten of them...soooo funny!"

But you really should talk to her about it. It's clearly important to you that people don't take them lightly. If I knew I had insulted my friend the way she insulted you, I would be soo apologetic. Alot of people don't understand them. And believe me, a psych major wouldn't know squat about a colonoscopy (I was one). However, she should be considerate of your feelings.

i don't want to upset anyone but usually I am the one who pokes fun at colonoscopy and i had 5 this year. the way i see it you better off laughing about it that crying. i think people are scared of the unknown so when they didn't go through it themselves it scares them so they trying to make fun of it. i call myself a movie star and every time i go for colonoscopy i say it's my chance to hit the big screen LOL. i don't care much what other people think of me life's too complicated as it is, so why pay attention to ignorant people?

I don't know how old she is but sometimes people are ignorant of something or other and if they get a much needed slap in the face to bring reality to them they may realize something they didn't know about themselves and it could change their lives overall into being a better person. By just keeping it built up inside you and steaming about it you are actually robbing her of a personal inner growth that would benefit everyone now and in the future. If you can't do that then maybe this person isn't as good of a friend as you thought.

I am not too sure if everyone missed antidepressant part. Although, I am not impressed about her colonoscopy comment, if it were me, the antidepressant comment would drive me nuts. You live in the society. There are good and bad things about it. If you don't want to listen what your 'friend' is going through and help them out, then you probably should not call them your 'friends'.

During the summer, a friend of mine came over to visit us from the UK. Although he knew about DS getting Autism diagnosis, he didn't seem to 'understand' it. When we were talking about something, he called him 'shortbus'. It so drove me mad, but I didn't argue, instead I changed my facial expressions drastically and gave him a heavy dose of what it is like having a child with special needs. How we are discriminated by the so-called neurotypical society. How easy it is for him to say everything that he said when he doesn't have a child of his own. How distant he is from the reality (his sister's kid also has special needs too). He understood and apologized that he wasn't aware of all this (I don't know how sincere it was though). All comment were very calm but stern. Of course, that parted us apart a bit, but I don't care.


If I were you, I would tell her how insensitive she was in making that comment. How colonoscopy saves life, which she will have to do it herself (i.e. stick a balloon up her own butt), once she turns 50. How it has helped you and how the antidepressant comment was insensitive. Everyone goes through rough patch in their life. How does she expect others to respond when she goes through one.
If she still doesn't 'get it', I certainly don't want to be 'friend' with such person.

n `

I never let other people's ignorant comments bother me. I just laugh along with them and think to myself "haha what a fool." Believe me, this happens almost daily in life.

deltaforce...would you mind to explain what "shortbus" as a moniker would mean?

q

Q, special needs children are sometimes picked up by a special school bus, usually with a chair lift. Since not that many kids need this bus, it is usually a smaller model. So someone decided special needs kids 'ride the short bus' or are just 'short bus'.