Childhood

Also, would just like to add that some of the stories saddened me in this thread. There's too much abuse and cruelty in the world to be sure, sometimes from the very people who should be loving us.

My oh my this has become a busy topic. Yeah, many of you were correct in pointing out that I was referring to the fact that all kids do get picked on, teased, even lightly bullied as part of the experience of growing up. Not saying, by any means, that all kids are relentlessly bullied to the point of it being either physically or emotionally abuse; that is a clear line and quite a big difference.

iPoop said...
My oh my this has become a busy topic. Yeah, many of you were correct in pointing out that I was referring to the fact that all kids do get picked on, teased, even lightly bullied as part of the experience of growing up. Not saying, by any means, that all kids are relentlessly bullied to the point of it being either physically or emotionally abuse; that is a clear line and quite a big difference.

I shouldn't have used the word tease in my first post. Thinking about it, it has connotations of light-heartedness - even warmth and affection - which certainly doesn't apply to the type of "teasing" I had. There was no warmth and affection anywhere; just cold, mocking humiliation, day in day out, no escape from it.

Edit: Also, I'm sick of people justifying childhood cruelty with such phrases as, "it's what children do", or "it was a long time ago, why do you even still remember it?". It's somehow all right for kids to be abused and humiliated, because it's a "normal" part of childhood, or they'll just grow up to forget about it. Heaven forbid I spoke to any adults like I was daily spoken to for 15 years of my life, but because I was a child it was perfectly all right and so I'm just "hanging onto the past". No wonder the human race is so depressed and screwed up. We treat children like garbage - or let others treat us like garbage - and then wonder why the rates of depression never go down. Antidepressants don't even touch the root cause of most adult depression; no wonder they work no better than placebos.

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 1/9/2014 2:54:38 PM (GMT-7)

Sorry, iPoop, I really wasn't having a go at you specifically.

Anyway, sorry you had a rough time too. I've calmed down a bit now... :-/

I don't always feel like the Queen of Popularity either... >.>

My miserable times were nearly all at home. The only happy times I remember at home are when I was alone and reading a book. (There was no TV in my bedroom and certainly no computers or tablets, so I really had nothing in the way of electronic distraction.) I certainly didn't love school, and had no support or understanding from any of the teachers, but at least the other kids largely left me alone. It got a bit meaner when I went to high school, but after a term or two things did settle down. From then on I mostly got comments from weird boys about the size of my chest... :/

At home I was routinely called fat, ugly, weird, and a loser by my brothers. They would do things to provoke a reaction and then laugh when I cried, or whatever. This went on for years. My mum was a semi-alcoholic (she'd go beserk if she read this, but it was true - most days she'd get drunk, probably to try to numb herself to her godawful marriage). My dad was like a Victorian father; completely authoritarian and never wanted to see or hear his children; he just wanted my mum entirely to himself. Absolutely do not know why he had one child, let alone four.

So that was homelife. Both my parents would be horrified to read this, but it's how I remember my childhood. No happy memories of us as a family anywhere. To be fair to my mum, she has tried to make it up to me in adulthood, I guess; still wants to pretend the past never happened, but she knows I struggle and tries to help. Even my dad is trying, now...

Sorry. I kind of digressed... >.>

Edit: I just wanted to say, I'm sorry you got so badly bullied for being short. Such a ridiculous, unimportant feature to seize upon, much like ginger hair or any other physical difference. I suppose it just goes to show children don't always have a good imagination if they can't pick anything better than that.

There is research that seems quite reliable that childhood abuse etc leads to higher likelihood of inflammation in adulthood. So I would have thought that for those of us with the genetic predisposition to UC, it could certainly be a factor.
www.pnas.org/content/104/4/1319.full "Childhood maltreatment predicts adult inflammation in a life-course study"
Link here
For myself, I had a difficult childhood, a lot of neglect involved but that was only part of a puzzle that included genetic predisposition, poor diet, too early antibiotics and hormonal contraceptives, giving up smoking and undergoing multiple food poisonings.

It used to be said by psychoanalysts that the IBD personality was a passive character who avoided interpersonal conflict and demonstrated high levels of fear, - hence psychoanalysts would say this personality explained why one sibling might get IBD and not the other. It was fashionable to say that an overbearing mother was at the root (which happened to Elaine Gotschall who was told that she must have caused her daughter's UC). To me, they got the chicken and the egg the wrong way round here, because, when on steroids that clear my flares, I become a fearless, aggressive person, but I believe it is my genetics and the way my adrenals work that influence my personality rather than vice versa...and, as we know, once you have experienced a serious and painfulness illness with humiliating side effects, it is hard to continue to be brave, confident and fearless so the analysts getting to people after they have suffered the illness is too late.

Overall, the speed of the spread of IBD in countries as they develop (4 x growth in Japan in 15 yrs, fast growth in China etc) where I am sure childhood was brutal for many, doubtless more brutal than now means surely that stress and parenting can only be a part of the puzzle, not the defining piece.

I had a wonderful childhood. Close family, parents still together.. so the theory that UC comes from a bad childhood goes out the door.

I think we all know it's more complicated than that. The original post could be a little clearer though. You are really making two different points. The 2nd one is a much better conversation.
1. UC is caused by stress due to a bad childhood.
2. A child who is bullied excessively, teased, beaten etc. will have a much better chance of developing UC and Crohns.

Truly, some children are singled out for bullying, there's no question about that and I would never minimize it.

All children are teased, mocked, etc. to some degree. My feeling is that those with lots of self-confidence and family support will identify this as teasing and not internalize it. Those without confidence and with poor family support will identify it as bullying, internalize it and feel it forever.

I was the tallest child in my class from third through seventh grade, so I was called "stretch" and teased daily about it. I was also called "brain" throughout high school. I remember being teased, but I never felt bullied. Others in the same situation would likely feel bullied. That's all I was saying.

I wanted to point out that when an adult speaks or acts horribly to a child, that's not bullying -- it's abuse. Bullying, IMO, is between peers. The one bit of good news is that schools are doing a lot off anti-bullying education now, and staff are more aware of what to look for than in years past.

i had the best imaginable childhood and have great contact with my parents who are extremely supportive (though a bit overprotective). I can't recall anyone even shouting at me. i've never been bullied or anything like that. I've always had absolutely and perfectly stress-free life. The only thing is that i'm over impulsive and hyper sensitive (i immediately cry at the sight of a poor person or animal) and i cannot control it (as i've read this is a uc type). However, i would not agree that bad childhood may cause uc because if this was true all poor children in orphanages (think about f.e. North Korea or some African countries) would be the first to develop the worst form of ibd.

beatUC said...
If the majority of us have the same childhood experiences, maybe there's something to the theory. Just because there's a few that are exceptions, doesn't mean the theory goes out the window.
Also I certainly don't believe UC is in any way psychological, although I think psychological issues can arise from it. There is some sort of link between stress at childhood and the immune system over reacting and causing damage to our bodies. This is an interesting topic, hopefully to be explored more.

If you say stress at childhood causes UC then yes that does go out the window. I wouldn't say there are just a few exceptions. This forum is a very minute portion of the IBD population. I know stress has a role in the immune system. I know the parental stress while we are in the womb can even have an impact on our development. I just had an issue with the blanket statement as I already pointed out earlier.

Izzy, no one is saying (from what I've read here) that IBD is a mental condition, there is a brain gut connection and there are definitely links to stress and IBD as with other health issues as well I'm sure.