Got a provisional date for surgery

ncot, i really hope this surgery makes you feel like you have a chance to be happy!!! you aren't a pointless human being. everyone has a purpose even if it's not for something amazing or earth shattering.

I'm glad to hear that you are happy with your decision but it seems like you are quite down right now and I don't think that is very good
It is really hard what you are going through especially without good relationships
I fear from what your wrote that you will be in a lot of pain and all alone after your surgery
I don't know the details of what happened with your family but is there a way you can make up? Do you have close friend who you can confide in? Is there a physical support group you can attend meetings and meet people like you in your area?
Maybe your doctor can arrange for you to see a therapist before you have your surgery

Your existence is not useless or pointless or you would not have been created. You are an amazing person with your own unique set of talents and abilities
I hope you can look at yourself and find the areas where you are amazing
I hope your surgery goes well and you have an easy recovery

Wishing you the best of luck. I'm sorry you're having to go through so much with the parental fallout :(

I'm excited for you to get further surgery that can help get you moving forward.

It'll be tough without family support...hopefully you and family can mend some of the issues before you have the surgery.

I think it'll be good for you to be out on your own. What about friends who can help you out?

Huge hugs of support to you!!!!!

q

I am really excited for you! I think i am going to have surgery too, i have no other options at this point so I can relate to the depression and feeling of worthlessness. I don't know why it makes me feel so down and awful, but it does, everything does. Just please know you're not no one and you're not insignificant, you've made me laugh many, many times. You're a very unique and intelligent person and I think you add a lot to this world :)

I was referring to ostomy or ibd support groups. I find it much easier to relate to people who know kind of what I'm going through. Like here for instance I know that people understand and aren't judging and it makes it so much easier. I have a friend with chrohns and they are the one person I can really be myself cuz I feel comfortable in my skin.
So a support group would probably be good for you.

Your existence is not pointless. You're a strong, witty and intelligent person - who happens to have been dealt a s-hitty hand in the health and family departments. You're very useful around here. Youre blunt, humorous and reflective posts help a lot of us. You're not afraid to tell it like it is, and I certainly appreciate that.

I hope your surgery goes smoothly and it improves your daily living. I'm sorry you feel so alone. I know how hard it is to open up to people, or, well, how hard it is to even find someone ok enough to want to try and open up to them! I find most people annoying and offensive. If not speaking with your family is relieving some of your stress/frustration than good on you, if they're emotionally hurting you and offering no support/love than they're not worth your time.

Make sure you let the team at the hospital know that you won't have help at home after you get discharged. Don't want you to get booted out too quickly! Please keep us posted, there are a lot of people on here who will be thinking of you.

*sending sunshine and lollipop thoughts your way*

Hope your surgery goes well and is successful.

Glad you now have your own place. Sorry it took a row but adults shouldn't have to live with their parents. Birds need to leave their nest in order to grow. There might be a hole in your life now but for sure that will only be temporary. Nature abhors a vacuum. I am sure your life will change for the better now.

Keep us posted. You shouldn't have to face surgery totally alone.

NCOT I am so sorry about family issue! I have a huge family but they live far from me. My mom just died and me and my oldest brother had a huge fight. The rest of the family is up his ass and I told him I was not gonna crawl up it. Well nobody talks to him that way and now I am far away and the odd man out. I feel very alone too and it's really hard.

But you have to stick up for yourself!!

Best of luck with the sugary and make some new friends!!!

Xoxo

AMEN to what Bananagirl said! I thought I had a higher purpose in life, such as inventing something, discovering something, top in my class or a high profile job, it maybe just to smile at someone having a bad day! I can live with that.

Just accept to be you and be happy with you. You have to love you first before you can love someone else. It starts inside and then will shine outward!

 

NCOT, I have a friend with crohn's who had that surgery done and she is doing well. I was hoping you could get something like that done too since the ostomy is effecting you so much and I'm glad you got a surgery date.

Well guys, I have my surgery date and time >.> Got the letter today: 17th July, 11am. Can't drive, 'cos leaving my car in the hospital car park for a week would bankrupt me, so I'll have to go on public transport. Getting there won't be so bad: it's the getting home part I'm more worried about...

Meanwhile I've been in a really weird mood since Thursday. I've fallen into another depression again, I think. Very hard to see a way out of it right now.

@Dikid - Ah okay. I went to an ostomy convention once. It was pretty large, a few hundred people must have turned up. But they were virtually all older than me and I didn't really get to speak to anybody, other than a couple of IA (Ileostomy Association) representatives. They were very nice, but way more positive than I was feeling at the time - or now :-/ Also, I dunno about IBD groups, but I did look up local ostomy groups, and there were none close to me. I got good support from my two stoma nurses for a while, but then it became harder to see them due to bureaucratic changes and I kinda got the feeling they didn't want to keep on seeing me every week or two anyway...

@toomuchpoopin' - I know what you mean about finding somebody you actually want to try to open up to... Even professionals whose job it is to listen to you, I find it hard to talk to unless I 'click' with them. And if I do find somebody I can talk to, then inevitably they move on: my autism team, housing officer, etc. I know I need to find actual flesh and blood friends to talk to, who have a chance of becoming a permanent fixture in my life, but right now I feel like a million miles away from meeting such people. Even if I go to clubs and meetings and meet new people (a daunting task for me), it is a ginormous step to go from being acquaintances to being friends, especially when I don't think most adults my age are seeking new friends: most are already settled down and have their circle of family and friends. Well anyway, thanks for the lollipops - hope they're chupa chups :p

@geeker - I'm sorry about your brother. And your mum :-/ Hope the cancer treatment works. My surgeon knows my situation, as I ended up telling her about it on Thursday. She knew my parents. Not extremely well, but she did meet them a few times. Anyway she asked something about them - can't remember what - which I would have had to lie on the spot about. I can't do on-the-spot lying, so I ended up telling her the truth. While she was very nice about it, it won't translate into getting help at home. At least I would be extremely surprised if it did: I probably won't be disabled enough to qualify for home visits.

@IAC - Totally agree with you about birds needing to leave the nest in order to grow. You really can't do it in the parental home beyond a certain age, especially if your parents still treat you like you're 14.

@DMC2011 - I'm sorry about your mother's death: things like that can cause huge rifts in unstable families. When my grandmother died, my aunts had a bitter fallout and half of them didn't speak to the other half for 7 years. Such families also tend to be rife with favourites and black sheep. It's easy to say, but you're probably better off out of that crap. But, like I said, it's very easy to say and very hard to experience: it's not a nice feeling.

@stud - I'm not allowed cats here! ;_; (To be fair, while I would love a cat, this flat isn't the best place for having one. There's no garden, just a car park and a main road which would probably use up its 9 lives fairly quickly.)

@Andrina - It's so rare to hear to hear of another Crohn's patient having that surgery! (It's usually done in FAP patients.) When did she have it done, if you don't mind me asking?

@Poppie - My dad I don't care if I never see again. He's so weird and controlling, with a dreary and paranoid mindset that I wish could be eradicated from my memory. I've spent 40 years listening to his horrible views: I literally do not want to hear it again, not ever, not even once, not even if he dies without my having seen him again. My mum is a bit different: I do actually miss my mum, or at least my sober mum. (She's a semi-alcoholic and will use any excuse to start drinking. Alcohol goes to her head really quickly, so it's not long before she's boringly, tediously drunk.) Maybe one day I will hold out an olive branch to her. But it would have to be on the condition she did not drink around me, which I'm not sure she would agree to.

*collapses* Phew. If you're tired after reading this post, imagine how tired I am after writing it >_>. But seriously, thank all of you for your posts: I do appreciate them. Thank you.