Posted 7/6/2016 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
I suffer from binge eating disorder and compulsive overeating, which for a UCer is a complete pain in the tummy and butt. After my hospitalization a month ago and a tapering dose of prednisone, I have already gained 12 pounds.
When I'm not on prednisone, I think about food constantly, and often binge compulsively. I've been to therapy numerous times, and over the last 6-8 months, I've been fairly successful in getting my episodes under more control (i.e. less frequency).
Since starting the pred, the symptoms of my binge eating have come back with a vengeance. I'm ravenously hungry ALL THE TIME and don't have the willpower to say no. I've been on a binge for at least two weeks now, with calorie consumption on several of the days in excess of 8000 calories. (I can eat like no one's business).
Before I was in the hospital, I was working really hard to get myself off of sugar and was doing quite well, but the UC was also making me incredibly sick, so my appetite was not very big. Now, my appetite is huge, all they fed me in the hospital was sugar and carbs and now I sit here and think all day long about what i want to eat next, when i'm going to eat it, how amazing it is that i'm not pooping my pants and then shame and guilt for giving in to the binge cravings. I feel so upset and out of control that i can barely handle it. Add to that the mood swings, insomnia, night sweats, agitation and stress that the pred is giving me...but i'm not in pain and haven't had a bloody poop in a month. Awesome, right?
Sorry for ranting, and i'm glad i'm feeling better in some respects, but darn it - I'm not happy with myself for falling back into the bingeing pattern. Last time I was on pred I gained 35 pounds in 10 weeks and promised myself that would not happen this time. I feel sad and lost and angry and fricken starving. I brought lunch with me today and all i want to do is go out and buy bad food. like the roasted chicken with rice is not going to cut it. I feel ashamed.