Scared and frustrated

Hello everyone. I´m new here. I want to tell my history about my recent ulcerative colitis diagnosis. I´m 21 years old and I started with syntoms about 5 months ago. I started with blood in stool and later mucus was added. I went to the Doctor and made me a colonoscopy and he found a ulcerative proctitis prescribing mesalazine suppositories and tablets with evaluation after one month of treatment, as you know I did not improve and I came back after a month and he prescribed oral budesonide, azathioprine and mezalasin for 3 months. I have been on treatment for 4 months in total and I have not improved a bit, I feel as if I did not take any medicine, I still have blood with mucus. The doctor tells me that ulcerative proctitis is the "mildest" type of colitis and what I have been investigating in medical articles the treatment I have is more than enough for this type. He also tested me for clostridium difficyle and it was positive and I have already been subjected to a vancomycin treatment and I still do not feel any improvement. in 2 weeks I go to the doctor again for reevaluation.

I write here because I feel alone without knowing someone with the same condition and with a lot of fear of not improving because lately I have been feeling worse (tired and very strong stomach pains). Although it is not written for me yet, I have read about biological therapy, but I am very afraid of being prescribed it and of the risk of cancer. I don't know if any of you have or had a story similar to mine that could tell me how you got out of the outbreak stage of the disease. It's very annoying for me, I can't go out because I go to the bathroom a lot. My social life has disappeared and I feel sad because I miss being healthy and eating what I want :c
Sorry if I have spelling mistakes, my language is not English.
God bless you all.

I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time. Feeling sad and scared are completely normal. I have felt that way many times during my long 2 year battle into remission. Try to have hope and keep persevering! I was diagnosed when I was 22 (now 28). I started out on mesalamine pills and enemas. Those didn’t work for me and I was steroid dependant. In 2018 I started my journey with Biologics. I tried Entyvio for a year (didn’t work), Remicade (became allergic) and now currently Stelara (7 months and doing great!). Unfortunately it takes time to find the right medication that works for you. C Diff is a terrible infection and can also flare up your UC. I had it the beginning of this year and went through 1 round of vanc which knocked it out. I’d recommend having a sample tested to make sure it’s gone.