Who here hides their illness from others?

I hide mine from everyone. Always have. None of my friends or coworkers know.
I even down play it with my parents so they do not worry. My folks think I have been off meds for years.
NOT. That is kinda just my personality I really do not think that would work for most people.
Most people like and need the emotional support of others and that might be the best thing for most.
When I lived with my folks I could see the fear in thier eyes most of the time.

My staff and cco-workers know. I don't talk about it all the time, and when asked how I'm doing, I usually answer "fine", unless I'm having enough problems to interfere with my mood or performance. Then I tell them why I'm not up to par.

I used to try to "spare" my husband, because I thought it couldn't be fun for him to hear about it so much. Then one day I passed out in the bathroom and he realized how sick I really was. He was very angry that I was "leaving him out", and how could he support me if I didn't even tell him what was going on? So now I make sure he knows what kind of day I'm having. Not in gory detail, but in general terms. He's a gem.

So I guess you could say I don't hide it, but I also don't dwell on it. I only bring it up when it's affecting how I perform and interact.

I tend to share on the same lines as Judy. I just started a new job in November and haven't told anyone there yet. If it would happen to come up in a conversation, yah, I would tell them. I don't find talking about it embarrasing anymore. (yeah! big healing/accepting step!) Like Carol has said - everyone has something. I will downplay things - even to the doctors, which isn't good - and they've caught me.

I'll tell my husband if I'm having an off day. It's much easier than him thinking he did something to put me in a bad mood and pouting about it - which then it turn puts me in a worse mood - and you get the picture.

I think you should tell your son. You could start off with something about having sick guts and taking the pills (special pills given to you by the doctor) to keep them healthy - like vitamins, which they are kind of like. Hey, and vitamins are good for kids, right? So you could take yours and give him a kids vitamin - Making sure to explain that it's very important that he only takes HIS vitamins and taking other people's could make him sick. He may feel hurt if he finds out that you were hiding it. He's also at an age where it could help him learn empathy.

I've been doing that with myself. I find myself thinking that so and so should do this or that - then I remember that no one can tell that I have this invisible disease. Maybe that shmuck who cut me off was racing to the bathroom!?!?! Maybe the person who takes the elevator one floor has been too sick to have the energy to take the stairs??? (Someone on the forum had mentioned that before - I liked it and have tried to adopt it! It sure keeps some of that stress away!)

Great discussion topic!

Well, I've been dealing with IBD for almost 17 yrs now, I was in my early 20's when I got sick and typically the younger you are the more embarassing this disease is...I used to try and hide it from the general public, wouldn't tell hairdressers, dentists, ect, but that stopped after I realized that often times when I'd have to make a mad dash to the can and came out with redish eyes (from crying due to pain) and sniffling (from crying because of the pain I used to get with BM's, not to mention when I used to get alot of sweats with chills) it was alot easier to explain that I had crohns, rather then let people think I was a coke-head or something.

It's amazing how trying to hide something as obvious as IBD can be can end up leading to people thinking the worst of you...I'd rather get their understanding/sympathy than have them thinking I was a drug-addict.

:)

By telling people, you're not using as an excuse...like I explained above, it really just makes it easier...not everyone is all about throwing a pity party when they find out you have an illness, infact you'd be amazed that by sharing it with others what you might find out about others (or even their friends/relatives) that might also be suffering with IBD, then you can share experiances with what helps and what doesn't back and forth with one another...sharing doesn't need to be a negative or embarassing thing...everyone poops, farts and burps, we as IBDers just do it more and many of us have obvious issues like the tireds, fibro, ect but by sharing then there is more understanding....and it helps put IBD into the public eye, less and less I run into someone that hasn't heard of IBD....used to be so many that never heard of it, that's changing and it likely comes from sharing.

But of course we're all different and everyone should do what they're comfortable with...I never dreamt I would be so open about it, but that's aging for you, priorities/the way you see things change.

:)

The people I work with know I have a condition called ulcerative colitis that causes ulcers in my large intestine and bleeding, and because of that sometimes I have to go to the bathroom a lot, or have pain, or am just feeling really lousy. I work in human services, and because I was open with my director about this, she has always been very good about letting me work at home when I need to, so I can save my sick time for when I really need it. My staff has also been very understanding about it, and know that sometimes I just can't get there in time for our early meetings. My friends and family also understand when I have to go to the bathroom or am running late or even have to cancel on them. If they didn't know about my condition, they'd just think I was rude or didn't care about them.

I would never deny having UC. eVERYONE IN MY FAMILY AND FREIENDS KNOW I HAVE IT. It's just whenyou are sick for soo long you get fed up telling people you are sick. Now i just get on with it.I must stress that i'm very pro-active in telling people about this condition, i just seem to handle it better myself when i keep my bad days hidden.

I am incredibly open about my UC. I tell everyone. I don't offer it but if it comes up I have no problem explaining things. I think more people should be aware of conditions that may not present themselves in a physical way. The most common response has been "but you don't look sick!"

I do try to stick to basic terms "ulcers in the colon" ect. when explaining and any oh poor girl comments are combated with an it could be worse kind of answer. My mom and husband worry more than I do about me. They are the two people who really, really know how UC affects me. They have seen the writhing on the floor and messed pants.

Being so open has paid off. I am a sub ina middle school and one teacher i had been subbing for alot and I got to talking and it turns out she was in the middle of being diagnosed with chrons. They gave her pred and explained nothing to her. I made a new friend and was able to help someone (the first thing i did was giver her healingwell.com)

I feel that if I explain things and am willing to answer questions then fewer people will have misconceptions. My mom has even started handing out my number to people she meets who have digestive problems so that I can explain tests and share my story with them. She is a little proud of me for haveing UC. It's strange but she sees the courage we all have and is proud.

I used to be vauge like Sherry was, until my horrible flare this sept b/c before that I was never really that sick. I was a shell of myself during that time and I told some additional people and they were/are so worried for me, it was nice but I don't want people worrying.......but it has meant so much to have them there for me and being concerned.

One thing coming up is we are going away with friends (that I am not super close to but they are really nice) and we are renting a big house for superbowl weekend and there are three big rooms with a ton of beds (so we will not have our own room) and I know I am really, really gassy at night and the phazyme doesn't work for me, so I am worried about that. I'll figure it out somehow....

Yeah, after having it for so long - you just get tired of having to explain everything. So I understand where you're coming from Marty.

Judy, that reminded of another pushy person that I confronted once. I mean I like her and all but.....anyway, we were at a huge fund raiser and we were outside mingling when a waiter came up to us with hor'deuvs (sp?). This woman takes one and the waiter brings the tray to me and I say no thank you. They were mini spinach quiches and I was in the middle of a flare. She then puts her hand on her hips and says "Oh yeah? Well why not?" I told her that it wouldn't agree with me so she tried getting me to try just one. I wasn't feeling that great plus I was cranky so I told her that I have Uc and I don't feel like peeing blood out my tush! Her mouth just sort of opened and apologized because she knows what Uc since she's a nurse.

I don't recommend telling anybody at work. Though it's illegal, you still run the risk of getting fired to get your expensive treatments off the company's insurance rolls.

To be honest...I really don't give a pooh...I tell everyone, even strangers if I'm in the mood. On the job most of my friends know, BUT they don't know the full extent of the harm this disease does...so long as I perform at work, no one cares or even notices. But if I was to drop dead today, they might say, "was it the colitis?"

NBT