UGH they dont GET IT!!! (vent)

I was talking to my mother online. I told her this: Today my lunch break from work ended at 2. Well my hubby and I were having financial problems so I had to deposit some cash and savings bonds to help us out. The bonds had my name on it so I had to be the one to deposit it... I meant to leave at 1:30 to do this, but had 2 bms before I went so left at 1:45 instead. So I get there, hand the lady my stuff, and then ask if there's a bathroom because my stomach was going crazy. She said no..I told her I had a stomach disease and she still said no that's where the vaults are, but if you want to go somewhere I'll process everything and then you can come back.

SO I struggled just to get to my car .. felt like if I just got to my car before I had a bm I'd be fine... but I got to Rite Aid and to the bathroom without one fortunately. Went to the bathroom... there was blood for the first time since october. I freaked.

So I told her this...and that I had a hamburger and rice for lunch...and that my hubby grilled the burgers..  she goes on a rant about.. YOU HAVE TO EAT RIGHT BLAHBLAHBLAH. her exact words actually kara kara kara, STOP ****ING EATING THE WRONG FOODS, it just irratates me that your husband cant GET THAT, geeez, sorry to go off on a rant but you 2 dont have any money or insurance and you CANT AFFORD to get sick again, ok, im done 

 

Thanks mom.. that helps. She continues to rant about red meat.. I told her hamburgers dont hurt me... just steak and stuff, but she still doesn't believe that certain foods hurt diff people. Anyways, we go at it and she still is all about the food and she in her exact words says...  ok, you know what, lets agree on this, dont tell me about your intestine woes anymore until you do the "program" 100% all the time and then if you have issues i will talk about it with you. i know this is harsh but you know what you have to do and how you have to do it and you seem to push the limits with it all the time and then whine about the stomach aches, blood, urges etc. im just tired of worrying about you, my nerves cant take it, please just eat the right way 100% of the time, eat on time, small amts, blah blah blah

I'm like MOM ITS NOT ALL about FOOD... and HOW would she know what I'm eating anyways... other than that hamburger. I've been eating good!! Whatever... I told her its about stress too... but she doesn't believe thats a big part of it.

I GIVE UP ON PEOPLE THAT DONT HAVE THIS DISEASE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND AND TELL ME HOW TO MAINTAIN IT

sorry guys for how long this is.. i just have no one else to scream this at

I can totally relate! My parents constantly bug me about what I eat and when I'm at home, everything is monitored. When I'm not in a flare, it doesn't matter what I eat! And when I'm in a flare, anything and everything will upset it!

Isn't it funny how so many people want it to be our fault? We ate the wrong thing, or didn't take the right supplements, or took them at the wrong time, or got ourselves in too much stress. Really, what they're trying to do is convince themselves that if they do everything just right, it won't happen to them.

Vent away, you have a good reason.

I just need to add something to this thread. Last night, my father told me "You have to live like you don't have a disease--don't let it follow you everywhere." Well, as nice as that would be, it's really hard to do when you have to take a minimum of 9 pills/day, get cramps almost everyday, run to the bathroom a million times, see blood in the toilet almost everytime you go, become tired easily, and have to watch what you eat. ARGH

You can tell your mom that I can eat whatever I want and it doesn't make my UC flare up or get worse.

Sorry you have to deal with that.

Vent away. I have had this disease since 1962. I was lucky to have parents that were good about it, but most other people think I was "not that sick." Part of it was my own fault because I would writhe in pain in the bathroom and then come out and tell everyone that everything was fine. I simply lied to everyone because I feared anyone perceiving I was sick. I had issues with relationships because I feared telling anyone.

Currently I am lucky enough to be in 99% remission 80% of the year. And I have this friend whose husband got UC two years ago. He doesn't believe I REALLY have the disease. Or that I ever had it really bad. (I spent a month in the hospital at age 16, and lost so much blood I needed six transfusions. My worst years were from 16 to about age 38....then it started to taper off.....less flares but still intense. After menopause I became like I am now.....still get flares but much less.

But in all these 46 years I have never had anyone to really talk to about the emotional toll this disease takes on people, as well as the physical pain. So vent away. The people here get it.