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how to deal with rude people and their questions

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 7/2/2008 11:10 PM (GMT 0)
The other night went to walmart..I have all the bathrooms scoped out know which way to go to start the shopping trip so that each bathroom is in reach.  Huh oh urge to go.  Head for the biggest one since it is busy in here.  Get there and the dude is cleaning the ladies room.  Well head on in and let him know to hit the road jack.  Hum...not listening.. I said gotta go to the bathroom please.  Him...theres another one on the otherside of the store.  Yep I know I said but gotta go now.   Well just got three more stalls to clean...Yep dont care gotta go so go or gonna go with ya in here.  He leaves...heads out the door bad mouthing me all the way and gets my daughter so upset she about plows into him.  I get out and am waylaid with questions from a lady that works there...exactly whats wrong and why couldnt u make it to the other bathroom...I tell them...she says...well what if u are walking down the street and u gotta go...what do u do then.. i tell her i either find a bathroom fast or go in my undies.....and since i cant wear a bracelet like people who have allergies or something u just have to run people out and answer questions later.......ok now question...what would u have done in that situation?  i really tried to be nice but got soooo embarrassed that the next night when i was back in there i told a manager..thanks for help....
Posted 7/2/2008 11:29 PM (GMT 0)
Well, that is a difficult situation. You could have told them that you have a medical condition and cannot wait. But I know what you mean. Why should you have to explain yourself. The customer is suppose to always be right and not bad mouthed by the help. Also, I personally find it embarressing to tell people about why I have to go. That is personal. It's hard enough having to deal with all of this stuff. Sorry that happened to you. That guy was a jerk. They just don't know and don't understand. Just forget about it. I would say don't shop at Walmart, but the prices are too good to pass up. lol Take Care, Bellski
Posted 7/2/2008 11:29 PM (GMT 0)
WOW!!! That is incredibly rude, they had no right to ask you such questions, I would have done exactly what you did and told a manager, that was way out of line. It's one thing for the guy to be bad mouthing you (which is uncalled for as it is, he shouldn't have even argued about it) but for some lady to ask you those kinds of questions is just ridiculous. I'm sorry you had to deal with that!!

People can be really inconsiderate and rude, and sometimes it's really frustrating. Usually I either bite my tongue or say "I have stomach problems" or I just tell them it's none of their business. Most people when asking me quesions (like friends and family) just have a genuine concern/curiosity but you will get the occaisional jerk here and there who just doesn't get it. Best thing to do is ignore them.

Oh and you can actually get custom Medicalert bracelets at http://www.medicalert.org/ and you can have them put whatever you want on it.
Posted 7/2/2008 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
I just ignore the cleaning guy, go in a stall, lock the door and do what I need to do. I have privacy and if it bothers him he can leave. I've done it several times. Usually they just stand there with their mouths hanging, they can't believe it. I don't see the big deal, after all, that's what stalls are for - to protect your modesty.

Oh, and if questioned, I bring out the nuclear artillery: "bloody diarrhea." Those two words will back most anyone off. As in "Yes, I could have gone across the store to the other one, but it's likely I would have had bloody diarrhea all over the floor of your store." I've decided not to be embarrassed by the combination of a physical condition I cant control and other's stupidity.

Posted 7/2/2008 11:47 PM (GMT 0)
I go in the men's room. Or just say "It's an emergency!" & keep walking right in. I've done both, actually... I've never been questioned, but if I ever was I'd use the "bloody diarrhea" answer too.

Posted 7/2/2008 11:48 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much for the link to the medical bracelets...have found one i think is cute...lol now gotta figure out how to order it as i cant find an order page haha. the luck i have...anyways thanks so much for your replys ladies and now since it is over with and all i have been able to laugh a little about it since he was pretty stupid about the whole thing.... thanks Veronica
Posted 7/3/2008 12:44 AM (GMT 0)
Being a manager in the hospitality industry, all I can say is, I am terribly sorry for this! I would have went to the manager, and really played it up, use the trump card, we all have and all do. It's not like you just had to pee and didn't want to walk, THIS crap is serious, and it really makes me mad, when employees mishandle guests, esp. those with disabilities. What would they have done if you were a mentally disabled person, or a women going into labor? "Oh, sorry mama, but you'll need to drop that kid over in the newborns section." F that noise!
Posted 7/3/2008 2:04 AM (GMT 0)
No one is perfect, the guy wasn't aware that it was a medical reason for your urgency, he may have felt you were the one being rude, he may have been having a bad day...I'm all for diplomacy but just because we're sick, we're not always in the right either, we can't expect people to read our minds and if we're not clear about our situation then we can't expect much, not to mention, there are still plenty who are unaware of our disease even exsisting.

Not picking sides here, just the way I see it and like I said, I'm all about diplomacy.

:)
Posted 7/3/2008 2:38 AM (GMT 0)
I like Judliyn's answer. I'm going to remember that one. =)

Yet another reason Wal-Mart sucks.
Posted 7/3/2008 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
I love Judilyn's answer, but I also agree with pb4. I'm sorry to say that I used to be the person sitting next to the person making awful noises and thinking, "Geez, why doesn't she show some self-control? Doesn't she know someone else is in here?" Enter my UC. Ooohhh, now I get it. And now I'm the person in the other stall, hoping that the other bathroom users aren't thinking the same about me.

I do think that when someone doesn't understand your condition (or want to), you have no reason to be embarrassed. You didn't choose to have this, and you have no reason to be ashamed. Everyone always thinks people are thinking way worse things about them than they really are.
Posted 7/3/2008 5:48 PM (GMT 0)

Imlivinrite4Him said...
Thanks so much for the link to the medical bracelets...have found one i think is cute...lol now gotta figure out how to order it as i cant find an order page haha. the luck i have...anyways thanks so much for your replys ladies and now since it is over with and all i have been able to laugh a little about it since he was pretty stupid about the whole thing.... thanks Veronica

I was trying to figure that out too... Apparently you have to sign up for an account and then you can add whichever bracelet/item you want and select how you want it inscribed. I'm broke at the moment so couldn't do it but I went through up until the payment info part to see how it worked. :)
Posted 7/3/2008 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
I dont know about your wal-mart, but the one around me has mostly handiecap people cleaning the restrooms and they just do what there told and try really hard not to lose there jobs. alot of them dont know what to do in a situation that is different then the norm. I just go in shut the stall door, do my buisness, go wash my hands, then tell them Im sorry I had to walk on there wet floor then leave. I think most of it is they are told not to let anyone walk on the wet floor in case someone slips and falls then there is a lawsuit. That is still no reason for the guy to be rude about it.
Posted 7/3/2008 6:13 PM (GMT 0)
At the wal-mart near my house it's always older people or someone who speaks hardly any English. But every time I have had to use the restroom, as soon as I walk in, they walk out and wait for me to finish before they resume cleaning- ESPECIALLY if it's a male cleaning the women's restroom. I've had ladies stay and continue cleaning but never any guys. I don't think they're allowed to tell you to go somewhere else because they're cleaning.
Posted 7/3/2008 6:23 PM (GMT 0)
One of my buddies at college was giving me crap (no pun intended) about hogging the bathroom. I asked him if he would rather me "crap blood all over your door".

He hasn't complained since.

The key is helping people understand that this is a *disease*. Not "I ate something bad". Not "I waited too long to go to the bathroom". A disease.
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