I have taken a little time to read over some of the postings and articles on this website. It seems that a good number of people want to spill their guts on the first post, not that there is anything wrong with that but would we do that in person or in public (?). I understand that many people here are hurting, some of them deeply, both physically and perhaps mentally as well. I was reading an article the other day about
what it means to have "titles", basically they were referring to occupations and how some of us can get hung up and stuck on a title when in fact it isn't so important. I am not on this website to impress anyone and I feel for the people who think they might need to. When I go to the doctor and tell them what is wrong with me the last thing they are interested in are my achievements and or job titles. I do not necessarily agree with their actions and opinions but trying to force someone to respect me or my past occupational achievements is not very healthy for me. I spent a good portion of my life trying to outrun the other guy, to achieve more, to get some sort of personal satisfaction out of what I was doing. The same concept can be applied to my personal health, if left unchecked I might have the tendency to sort of glorify my current and past medical problems and or medications. For myself this is a dead end road because it only leads to heartache and disappointment, misunderstandings and hurt feelings. When I am in public or at a certain function people often come up to me and say "what do you do", this always puts me in an uncomfortable situation because I don't understand what the motive behind it is. Of course most adults feel this is just a common question and it is only a way for people to get to know one another but sometimes I have had people look down their noses at me because I don't want to tell them my past occupational successes and or failures. When we strip away the titles, the promotions, the street addresses, the names of our children’s private schools, our medications, how long we have been ill, and the surgeries, and more we are all left holding the same plate. I still do not know many things about
this life but as I grow older I realize the less I actually do understand, it is a humbling feeling to discover that after having achieved the main goals I had set for my future that I am no better or worse than anyone else. I don't have to be locked in a prison to be a prisoner, I don't have to be educated to have a rewarding job, I don't have to be a Nobel prize winner to be appreciated. What I do have to do is be true to myself, to try and hold my head up and smile even when I am very sick and hurting, to be kind to someone who has had it worse than me. I can't change the world but I can change my attitude towards it, I can't change people but I can change the way I communicate with them, I can't force anyone to respect me but I can certainly respect them even without even saying a single word. At the end of the day I have to try and sleep with the way I acted that day, the way I treated other people. Was I kind and considerate? Was I giving and understanding? Did I treat people the way I want to be treated? Was I trying to help people but my real motivation was actually monetary gain? Will I be able to stand and face my maker and answer for my actions when He/She will know my real motives? Will I die with peace and harmony or will I be left with regret and sorrow? I am sure I will have some regret when I am on my death bed but I do have some degree of control as to how much regret I might have. Sorry for my grammar and spelling, I have never been very good at either of them. God bless any and all and I hope to be accepted here and treated kindly, as we all do.
Post Edited (Dipseticischemia) : 1/25/2009 1:19:11 AM (GMT-7)