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How do you emotionally handle your bad days?

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 8/5/2009 10:12 PM (GMT 0)
I am in remission but I am not normal nor do I think I ever will be.  I still have D 3-4 times a day (mornings) but no other symptoms so I the doc thinks I have IBS. 

I have been under a bit of stress lately.  My teenage daughter is giving me grief (sneaking her bf in the house, smoking in her room etc - all that LOVELY teenage crap), yesterday I had to take Gma to the ER because she had routine surgery on Monday and started running a high fever (she got admitted last night) and my FIL is in the hospital from a broken rib of no known cause (3rd rib broken for no apparent reason).  It seems things are just piling up and now......can you guess what else is happening? Yep, my Uc is starting to misbehave.  It started yesterday.  An increase of D and today I have that left sided pain and the ooey gooey feeling.  I have a feeling that this will resolve on it's own though (of course I am not in denial and will deal with it appropriately if the time comes).  But how to do you all cope emotionally with things in your life and especially when it comes to bad days with your UC?  Do you scream, cry, hide in your room, nap???? 

Posted 8/5/2009 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
Good question.
When I feel everything is going wrong, I try to indulge myself by doing only what I want to do or feel good enough to do, even if that's very little, to take the pressure off. I take naps without guilt, and ask my husband to be especially nice to me.
Posted 8/5/2009 10:53 PM (GMT 0)

I can be nearly in tears but to be honest I take my Xanax and calm right down and able to deal with whatever I need to.  I also have a husband who understands when I need to nap or just be alone a while.  I feel as you do that I will never be completely in remission or "normal" whatever that is for me.  I do have IBS so I know if I eat certain things I will have diarrhea/gas/pain.  I take Imodium those times and rest/relax for about 2 hours and all seems well for a while (until next time).

ElaineNY

Posted 8/5/2009 11:28 PM (GMT 0)
personally, I like to cook. A lot of times I will call up the guys and hang out with them. It all depends on the situation I guess. You seem to have a lot going on and if that was the case with me, I would probably call some friends up and cook! ;) Hope all goes well .. you always have us here! Right now I am stressing about going to six flags great adventure this saturday. I don't want to drop a load at the top of the roller coaster.
Posted 8/5/2009 11:32 PM (GMT 0)
I take a book to bed with me & shut the door! I leave my daughter's bed-time to my husband, & cuddle with the cat. I smoke a cig or 2 in the garage, then hit the sack for the night. Sometimes I'll eat a comfort food, like frozen yogurt, but if it's a bad day due to UC sypmtoms, I don't! I also swim laps, to really be alone & de-stress.

Posted 8/5/2009 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry that your family isn't doing well.

Try not to think of it as "teenage crap." Teenagers are going through a lot of changes and need an adult who has experience to talk to. You could take your daughter with you when you are helping your relatives so that you will have some time to talk with her and so that she can gain some understanding and compassion for what you are going through.

My daughters are 20 and 27. They never had to sneak boyfriends in the house. My younger daughter had a boyfriend when she was 16. I was very supportive of their relationship. I respected their feelings for each other and as a result, she listened to my advise. My relationship with my kids has always been open. Neither of them has ever smoked.
Posted 8/6/2009 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
I agree with the others that you should try to take some time out for yourself to de-stress. A few things that work for me are working out, meditation, a couple of hours browsing through a bookstore.

I hope things are fine soon.
Posted 8/6/2009 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Well, Sherry...it's YOU whom we should be asking for advice regarding handling the "when it rains it pours" stuff because you've definitely been flooded with it over the years.

I hope all gets figured out with your uncle and g'ma's fever after the surgery.

Regarding your daughter's smoking in the house...if that's the house rule to not do so, then take away a priviledge. She/they can smoke outside I would think...maybe they just don't want to "mingle" with the older folks..lol.  Make sure your husband supports you in that and that both of you stand firm on the issue.

I'm no help in the coping regarding all piling up at the same time except to suggest you have help to do other stuff if you need it rather than doing it all yourself.  Prioritise.

Xanax I guess will help for you to at least get a good night sleep.

Regarding your UC....I can relate to the distress and flare relationship. I bet you have your period as well?

Hope things level out soon....add another 10 notches to the back of the toilet...you've certainly "earned" them.

quincy
Posted 8/6/2009 2:08 AM (GMT 0)
I usually try not to focus on it and hope it goes away. Double up on the rectal meds and take my meds religiously. Double up on probiotics. Eat healthier. No syrups, decrease sugars and carbs. I have been feeling a little off lately too. I hope it doesn't turn into something worse but I have my period and that's not helping anything. I hope you're feeling better soon. I am sorry you are under so much stress.
Posted 8/6/2009 2:35 AM (GMT 0)
I basically go on a health binge, and eat extremely healthy. I'm aware of it, but I don't let it bring me down one bit. This time for me, I think my diet might stay cuz my hubby can't handle fast food anymore, which I'm so happy about. Making both of us figure out what to make that is fast for us here at home.
Posted 8/6/2009 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone. I just wanted to take a sort of unofficial poll to see how others cope. My escape really is reading. I go outside on the patio and just read. It sometimes helps and other times my mind is racing so much that I can't just concentrate.

Regarding my daughter smoking. Yes we have a strict rule that NO one smokes in the house. Three reasons: it smells, it's unhealthy for those that come to the house that don't smoke and my son has asthma. I have told my daughter that if she is going to smoke to take it outside. This last time she did it, we took her bedroom doors off. There is a long history with my daughter that I don't want to get into here but let's say that some of her behavior involved a therapist. So I basically told her that when she shows more responsibility and respect for the house rules, then she will get her doors back.
Posted 8/6/2009 4:30 AM (GMT 0)
Aw Red, reading about your teenaged girl takes me back (mine is an adult and living on her own, actually with her BF now), taking the door off of her bedroom smartens most of them up when they're up to no good, (I know my daughter hated it) though we never had any boy issues...I hope your GMA will be okay, my GMA-inlaw broke her hip once from standing up out of her chair (bones sure do get brittle as we age) so make sure you're getting enough calcium yourself.

If you don't do daily meditation or yoga, now would be a good time to start, like vigorous exercise it does wonders for the mind and for coping with teenagers, thankfully my teenage son is a breeze (I might actually miss him when he moves out LOL). For the record, my daughter and I have an amazing relationship now, no more butting heads not that we did that alot especialy compared to some people but now we have a fantastic relationship...things do get better.

:)
Posted 8/6/2009 4:39 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry that you have more than your share to deal with, being in the "sandwich generation". (Having to deal with teenage disrespect & oldsters' health problems at the same time.) My mind also races at times, but I also go kind of numb & then just do what's necessary to survive. Music has generally been a big help. Today I got a phone call informing me that a longtime neighbor had just died, a few days after being transferred from one nursing home to another, and shortly after her middle-aged daughter had emptied out her apt. There will not be any kind of service, and I'm told that the daughter is leaving for Bermuda in a couple days. I cannot change any of this-- sometimes we just have to get by, sort of like being on auto-pilot, 'til the difficult situation passes. / Old Hat (30 yrs with left-sided UC ... [etc.])
Posted 8/6/2009 12:14 PM (GMT 0)
Pb, I actually remember when you came to us asking for suggestions on how to deal with your daughter! lol I'm glad to hear that you are her get along good now.

Actually me and my daughter have a great relationship. My hubby (her Dad), well their relationship is sort of rocky. My daughter is sort like Jekyl and Hyde, one side of her is sweet, do no wrong and she has an angel's face. But as soon as she is out of sight, she turns into a raging out of control monster! To tell the truth, she confuses both me and my hubby! lol Yes, my son is an awesome teenager too *glowing with pride* :) He turns 18 in a couple of weeks and he graduates next year. He has his head on straight and is the most easy going, kind and funniest kid you would ever meet.
Posted 8/6/2009 12:15 PM (GMT 0)
Oh and today I am feeling better emotionally and more in control again. Yesterday, things just sort of built up on me.
Posted 8/6/2009 2:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hm... working on that one today. So far, I've been immersing myself in HealingWell and doing busy work. Desk busy work, since I'm cramping from yesterday's biopsies.
Posted 8/6/2009 2:21 PM (GMT 0)

Just want to thank all of you here for keeping reminding me what prednisone can do to my body as I so much want to return to it.  I do believe I may finally be getting over the withdrawal symptoms.  However, I am not on any medication as both doctors took me off everything.  So, where do I go from here?  I believe a lot of the medications helped the UC but I could not even tolerate the suppositories and foam.  Specialist in Albany said I could not do Remicade or ? because of my age and the risk of infections, etc.  No doubt to me I would have terrible side effects!!  So, trying to "live with" symptoms and taking fish oil and probiotics, etc. hoping bleeding will slow down some more.  Getting up sick every morning is the WORST - I hate the nausea and cramping and not being able to do ANYTHING for the first 4 or 5 hours and feeling wiped out most of the day.  I have so many things I should be doing.

ElaineNY

Posted 8/6/2009 2:25 PM (GMT 0)
I either go for a walk (if I feel okay physically), play some video games (always works), or talk to someone.

Whatever works for you...just do it.
Posted 8/6/2009 6:29 PM (GMT 0)
Yah Red, those days with my daughter seem like a life-time ago now, I think the Jekyl and Hyde thing is pretty common especially amongst teenaged girls (if I recall I may have been a little, teensy-weensy like that back in my day too LOL). Sounds like your son and daughter almost mirror my son and daughter :) weird eh.

Good luck with it all and remember, these times will pass before you know it and they'll be calling asking you what on earth to do with their teenaged kids LOL.

:)
Posted 8/6/2009 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
I tell Ben (my almost 10-month-old) that's he's to remain as sweet and happy as he is now, that he's always going to listen to his mommy and daddy, and that he's always going to give his mommy hugs and cuddles....I hope that it'll somehow stick in that little brain of his!

At any rate, I'm sorry that everything is piling up! I also tend to escape with a good book!
Posted 8/6/2009 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
Good luck with that Fruitgirl! LOL Honestly I think that boys are easier to raise then girls. Of course there is always the exception but for the most part, boys are more calmer and don't have those wild hormone flunctuations like girls do.

Oh and btw, Gma should be released tomorrow. They found E.Coli in her blood but found the proper antibiotic to treat it. She is doing really well too and is almost demanding to be let go! lol Btw, for those who don't know Gma, she is 90 years old, almost blind, almost deaf, has moderate/severe dementia, is only 4'8" and is feisty little gal! lol
Posted 8/7/2009 7:58 AM (GMT 0)
fruitgirl....there's a blue moon out tonight and I saw a cow flying over it!! devil tongue

q

Posted 8/7/2009 8:00 AM (GMT 0)
Sherry....wow, what a relief that tests were done and that your g'ma is being treated for it. Hope it clears up soon.

Feisty seems a good description as to how she's come through the past few years.

q
Posted 8/7/2009 3:10 PM (GMT 0)
Ha! Yeah, I know it's a looooong stretch to hope that what I tell Ben will actually stick, but a girl can hope, right? I agree that boys are easier than girls...pre teen hormones are NOT fun! And girls are just mean to each other. I think that most little girls are easier than little boys, though, just because girls tend to be a bit less hyper than boys. I know that my younger male cousins would just run in circles and yell!
Posted 8/7/2009 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
Sherry, I'm glad to hear gma is doing better. I almost feel like she's the UC board gma for all of us!
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