Help...the anxiety!

Before UC, I was the most laid back person..no anxiety and never let daily stress get to me.  Now that I have UC and never know from day to day when I'll have to use the bathroom, I have major anxiety.  I take Immodium and Xanax when I am away from home but still get that horrible nervous stomach in certain situations.

Next week I am training for a new job where I have to go to the woman's house for training.  The job will be working from home once my training is over with but I am a nervous wreck to go for the training.  I've worked from home for several years and haven't had to do actual training with someone besides online or over the phone.  The woman's house is 30-40 minutes away and then I'll be there for 5 hours or so.  In my mind, I know it will be fine but I can't control the horrible nervousness that I get in my gut.  It's really the worst part of the disease for me.  I keep trying to focus on the end result which will be working from home but I am so scared about spending 7-10 days at this woman's house...and making the long car ride.

I just want to cry!

I saw one before and they basically had me practice leaving my house, etc. It really doesn't help me when I have a colon that poops whenever it feels like. lol. Basically it's the disease that causes the anxiety and then the anxiety makes the disease worse...a vicious circle! If Xanax wasn't addictive, I would just pop a few extra and I'd probably do great but I take a really low dose as needed and don't want to become addicted to it. My GI treats me like I'm a druggie when I ask for a refill. 20 pills lasts me several month because I cut them in half but he doesn't seem to "get" why I need them.

I really know what you mean I used to get this every time i went to work and if there was a traning day. i thought i was going to die. I remember once i was in a room full of traning and i almost had to leave. my heart was pounding in my chest and my hands were so swety. i kept trying to calm my self down. i almsot had to leave but luckly i made it though. the strange thing is when i went raw this stopped happening. doing this low carb diet really seems to help with the mucus, but i am missing being raw this week. i will go back to being raw becuse it gave me such energy and vitality, and helped with 70% of the illness symptoms. only the bleeding and the mucus i coulent clear, dont know why. but the rest was perfect. and this was no longer a problem. i remember going to my final company dinner and i looked forward to it. i hadent done that in years. i was fine and i felt good. try going raw for 3 months and see what happens. fruit is easy on the digestion. the first month you have to go though a detox. any way this low carb does not make me feel well. i dont like it, but for some reason the last cople of days i have not had any bleeding. go figure? i miss my fruit :( i did have some banans today.

I tried daily meds but they gave me side effects so I stopped taking them. I hate the thought of being on another med that I have to take daily. I've thought about trying them again but it's just so much money to add another med.

     I used to be the same way when I worked.  I was a lab technician and worked for a real grouchy doctor.  As a matter of fact, I knew when he walked into the office what kind of day I would have with him.  If he was smiling, I knew it would be a good day, but more often than not, he would have a grump look on his face and then my stomach would go in flip flops.  I put up with this for seventeen years before I finally wised up and left that office.  Boy did he have a rough time trying to replace me.  Seems like his former lab techs left him for the same reason but weren't dumb enough to stick it out as long as I did.  He was also my family doctor which made the situation sort of sticky.  I credit him with my condition....he prescribed erythromycin for everything which probably ruined my gut plus the aggravation of being in that office...ugh.

     I agree with fruitgirl.  Maybe you could get some counseling or ask your doctor for something for your nerves and say to yourself...."this too shall pass."  Once you get your training in, you are home free.

If you are going to be at a woman's house for the training, I'm sure you could explain to the woman that you have a condition...I have found that it always helps me if the people I am with understand what I am going through--I've never had anyone NOT be understanding, even though it can be awkward to bring it up. If YOU don't act awkward about it, though, usually other people aren't awkward either. It definitely helps with my anxiety if I know that people fully know my situation.

Congrats on a new job, though--that's great!! :)

i think maybe talk to your doc about anti anxiety meds and anti depressants which zoloft is .....i take ativan and diazepam to help me get thru the days i am not at my best since losing total hearimg its a whole new scary world and it causes me alot of anxiety then my cd acts up...jmo..let us know how you are doing k ...lyn