Malkavian - are you at the point of deciding now to have the surgery?
If not, here's my last unsolicited relationship advice... don't argue about
about
hypotheticals. At the point when(if) you become actually ready, go ahead and make your appointment with no apologies and don't look back. But by that time, he may have come to have a completely different understanding of the disease and your needs. I would suggest at this time, you merely say, "I know you only want the best for me and for now I will continue with exploring different medications if you will continue learning more about
the surgery and UC in general."
I have a friend who finds "what if" questions to argue about
almost daily in her relationships (they don't last that long). She thinks it 'prepares' them for the worst. I think it causes her to constantly cross bridges prematurely, and to miss perfectly happy moments because she always thinking about
the "worst case" scenarios.
I don't mean to give your bf more credit than he deserves; he may be a creep for all I know. But you have been together for 4 years, so if he's a creep with control issues, you probably have an inkling of that by now (have you really checked that? Muy importante!) You have had the disease for a just a year now - and he lives an hour away, so I'm not surprised that he doesn't fully understand what you are going through yet. I've had this since 2007, and my husband still checks with everything I eat as if it were a simple food allergy. Sigh.
Folks, NO MORE discussion of medical marijuana. Further posts about will be reported to Peter, the forum administrator. Ignoring requests by moderators to follow forum rules is not OK.
-fruitgirl
Post Edited By Moderator (fruitgirl) : 3/8/2010 9:38:23 AM (GMT-7)