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What special things does your S/O (or children) do for you?

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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 5/14/2010 12:27 PM (GMT 0)
I know many of us are married or have a boyfriend/girlfriend or have children so I got a little curious.  When you're not feeling good, what special things do they do for you? 

I love my husband so very much.  I've been married for almost 21 years (18 years of that I have had Uc) and he is so thoughtful and kind.  When I am not feeling good, he will do just about anything for me.  But one incident sticks out more then others. 

I was mildly flaring when we went up to our cottage which is 2 1/2 hours away.  We came home and I went to take my afternoon dose of Asacol (this was about 7 years ago) and I forgot that I left my med at the cottage.  My husband hopped in the car and drove the total of 5 hours just to get my medicine for me.  I felt kind of guilty to be honest for him having to drive all that way but when he came home he simply told me, "I don't mind because if it keeps you healthy that is all that is important."

Posted 5/14/2010 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
awww Sherry, that is amazing. My husband is such a patient and giving man. He is so busy because we own our own business ( I dont work there I am a teacher off on maternity leave). Even though he has a million things to do everyday he still asks me if I need some time to rest or have a nap in the middle of the day. Then he will watch my son at the business for a couple hours. That means sooo much to me especially since I know how much he could be doing during that time. I know he sees me feeling run down this past while and this is a little thing that really helps :)
Posted 5/14/2010 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
Aww..

My hubby will get take out or even cook sometimes when I am not feeling well.... He also does the dishes!!! I am so blessed to have a great husband and two wonderful children.
Posted 5/14/2010 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
pretty much anything....and he puts up with me, amazing!
Posted 5/14/2010 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
Well, when I was in my first (and so far only) flare, we had a newborn son. My husband took care of absolutely everything he was able to (shopping, cleaning, caring for our son) so that I could rest as much as possible and try to get well. It was particularly hard, because we have no family close by (we live in WA state, and they live in MI and IN). But, we got through it, and after that, I know we'll get through anything.

My son's a bit tooo small (19 months) to really "do anything for me," but the kisses, hugs, smiles, giggles, and "Mama!"s go a long way. :)
Posted 5/14/2010 3:17 PM (GMT 0)
My husband does everything. I have been in the hospital so much, and we was working, caring for the baby, and going to school. he gets up in the night with the baby, changes all his diapers, feeds him....everything
Posted 5/14/2010 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
My husband will do about anything - just have to ask usually!  After 49 years and both have health problems we watch out for each other.

What stands out now is that even though not always possible - he makes all his appointments with doctors and VA hospital afternoons or late morning so I can go.  He needs my support and extra ears to get everything right.  This week he drove by himself to VA because I was too tired from vacation and not feeling well enough to get up early!  He is great!

ElaineNY

Posted 5/14/2010 3:38 PM (GMT 0)
She lets me talk ad naseum about the state of my colon and my rectum if I need too. 'Nuff said. Can't be more accomodating than that :)

But seriously, it is great to have someone to simply talk with about UC anytime you need to.
Posted 5/14/2010 4:15 PM (GMT 0)
Wonderful stories!
Posted 5/14/2010 4:33 PM (GMT 0)
When I read that many husband/family let you talk about your UC if you need to - I would like to say no one in my family wants to hear about it.  They will help - including my husband - but would rather not talk about it.  My son wrote me (and he is a great help to us both) an email and ask me not to "describe" my symptoms!  I figured they should know about bleeding, etc. but at my age 70 - they just expect me to be sick with something I guess.

I am not sure any of them understand what UC is and what I have gone through, etc.  I mentioned to my husband yesterday that an internet friend on here was having her colon removed and she is 63.  His answer was "do they take her whole colon - oh, how terrible".  See - some just don't get it.  Although he is wonderful and would do anything for me - he just will never "get" it.  He has lung cancer and I certainly "get" that!

ElaineNY

Posted 5/14/2010 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
Where are all the other guys with accomodating women?
Posted 5/14/2010 5:07 PM (GMT 0)
My husband is also great.

I told this story before,
When riding in the car with his parents, he was driving with his mom in the front seat, and we were stuck in traffic. Ugh. He saw me roll my window down a little in the back even though it was dead of winter, and knew that meant I wasn't doing well. So he turned the radio way down, because he knows noise also bothers me in the car when I'm not doing well. His mother berated him him up and down about how he was disrespectful, because she wanted the radio turned up. I told her he did it for me.

Now, I had to have the talk with him when we were dating, that having peace to take care of my needs was more important than any man, and if he got upset about extra car stops, etc., it just wasn't going to work between us. He heard me, and has been great ever since.
Posted 5/14/2010 5:45 PM (GMT 0)
I am usually pretty open about Uc to my husband. I don't always go into the gory details or anything like that but I have told him what it's like. He tries to understand but unless someone has it, then they couldn't possibly know 100%. If I am flaring and I tell him, he asks me if I am bleeding and if I say yes then he responds that maybe it's time to call the doctor! He's almost a pro at this! lol At least I got it thru his head a long long time ago that my pain and flaring is not correlated to the food I eat.

Now that we are both getting older and suffering from another beast called arthritis, we sound like a bunch old fuddy duddies moaning and complaining about our aches and pains! :)
Posted 5/14/2010 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
My boyfriend does all these little things for me all the time, sick or not sick. That's why I'm with him. He even gets out of bed to set the alarm for me when I tell him I need to wake up at a certain time. He's a keeper.
Posted 5/15/2010 12:23 AM (GMT 0)
Just the other day I had a total melt down and my husband, who was on his way out the door to work set his briefcase down and cuddled up with me on the bed. He held me and just told me how much he loves me and gave me lots of kisses. So, the special thing he has done actually all through out this flare is reassure me that it will be OK. Eventually we will figure this out and that he will be there.
Posted 5/15/2010 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
jennifer, that's beautiful. you know, your hubby sounds just like mine!
Posted 5/15/2010 4:57 AM (GMT 0)
My wife would do anything, literally anything. So far 4 years in UC and she never had to do anything off her regular way to help me out but I can see that she feels for me. When I get flare and I am in pain, she feels the pain and its evident from her expressions.
On the other side, I feel really bad that I was diagnosed with UC just 1 year in our marriage. Now about to celebrate 5th wedding anniversary with then 22 month old son, I just feel bad that my condition could cost our family life a lot in long run. Hence, I try to be as disciplined as possible with my condition and take utmost care that none of my actions should end me up in flare and cause any sort of disturbance in the family. Frankly, even if I am in pain, I hide it as much as I can.
Posted 5/15/2010 5:07 AM (GMT 0)
I had just met and began dating my boyfriend when I went into the hospital for my bowel rest. We had been dating maybe two weeks and he came to the hospital every single day (I was there 6 days) to see me. I would buy me beautiful roses and rent movies for us to watch in the hospital room. Before I had my PICC line inserted I had my IV in my hand and it hurt so bad it would bring tears to my eyes and he would let me squeeze his hand as hard as I could to get through the pain. I was there over New Years and he came down to the hospital with some fake champagne and stayed until midnight. I barely knew him but him doing that made me think he was a keeper...four years later we're still dating.
I've never been shy about my UC with him and it just became of my/our lives. Even now if we are out he'll ask "do you have any lactaid??" so if I do we get ice cream :)
Posted 5/15/2010 1:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hang on to that one Sam - he is so much like my Paul!  49 years and he would do "anything" for me - I just know it!  When he was working he would bring me flowers home not even really knowing I had a bad day.  We feel like we are attached at the hip now and could easily finish each others sentences.  He will come in my computer room or wherever and ask me something and I will have been thinking about the same thing.  Weird but nice!

ElaineNY

Posted 5/15/2010 10:53 PM (GMT 0)
I guess of all the things my husband does or has done for me to help with my condition, the biggest was when he agreed when I wanted to quit working. I know it's not like he could STOP me from quitting or force me to go back to work, but he could argue and fight about it. After the initial discussion where he communicated his preference for me to continue to work, he has never said a word about it, even when we occasionally come across things we can't afford to do or buy without my income.
Posted 5/15/2010 11:08 PM (GMT 0)
Mine mostly cooks for me. I remember around the time I was diagnosed he made a whole roast chicken so I could have something easy to digest that I could just heat up, and he made soup out of it after. He's an awesome cook, too. He also gives me massages for the leg cramps I get while on prednisone. And he sat through my first scope with me despite having a job interview later that day and stayed most of the night in the ER with me for something unrelated to my UC.
Posted 5/16/2010 5:01 AM (GMT 0)
Yah. I come from a family in which the guys do all the cooking. My dad cooked, my sister's husband does the cooking, my mom's second husband does the cooking, and my boyfriend does the cooking. However, my older daughter and her husband cook together. It's become a hobby of theirs. They really seem to enjoy cooking together.
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