Sorry everyone!!!!!

Hi everyone

I am SOOO SORRY for my post last week... thank GOODNESS the moderators deleted it.. Thank you fruitgirl for the email also. I wanted to apologize to the members who read it, I was freaking out and felt like my back was against a wall and didn't know what to do as far as hubby was concerned. I'm not usually that cracked up... but I guess everyone has their breaking point... LOL...

Anyhow, I am all moved out and relaxing in my room right now, thanking GOD that I got just about everything out. I still have my horse and one of my dogs over there, but I'll get them picked up next week and have no ties to that house anymore.

Monday I'm going to the Department of Social Services to see what kind of legal aid I can get and any financial assistance I can get temporarily. So.. things are looking up except that this entire ordeal started another flare for me... I had bad pain on Thursday but it has calmed down some now. I also have blood again, quite a bit actually and my rectum is KILLING ME... we'll see how it goes now that I'm out of that stressful environment.

I called my GI and he wants me to give it a couple of weeks as long as I don't get worse before considering going back on any meds... I'm not taking anything right now and he asked me to stop the Pentasa as well because one of the side effects of that is abdominal pain. So as long as I don't get worse, I'm to call him back in 2 weeks and let him know how it's going. If I'm still flaring without any improvement, he'll see about doing another infusion of Remicade.. I'm a little nervous about that but the side effects I got from my first infusion (numbness and tingly feeling on right side of body) wasn't as bad as the bleeding and pain I'm dealing with right now, so we might give it another try and see what happens.

So... thanks everyone for your advice, sorry but I wanted that post deleted because I was putting TMI out there ya know?

I am happy you got it deleted too. I completely understand how you were feeling and why you said the things you did. We all get like that sometimes, I was just worried that you were making a bad decision in putting that info out there for anyone to read.

It's great that you're out on your own. It's amazing how liberated you're going to feel when you're able to really get on your feet. Things are going to be stressful for a while but they will work out and when they do, you're going to have a completely new life full of love and happiness.

I hope you can get your flare under control quickly. I am in the same boat as far as UC goes, not great but not the worst I've been...

Thanks guys :)

I'm doing better today so far.. Had a Poopie this morning and no blood... so we'll see, maybe it was just the stress of getting all my stuff out and hubby arguing with me the entire time I was packing and lugging things out to the truck... lol.. He even said in front of one of my girlfriends helping me that "the sooner you are out the better"... She looked at me with huge eyes and I just shrugged my shoulders... I mean really!

I guess I didn't realize just how bad emotionally he was treating me, the control was unbelievable, which probably explains why I haven't been able to remain in a good remission every since I came back from Montana that one time....

I am making Soy container candles today and showing my rommate's teenage daughter how to do it.. She's having a blast and it's making the house smell really good! I haven't made candles in a while... I just haven't felt like it and it's one of my favorite things to do besides riding my horse... :)

I'm hoping I can sell some and make a little extra cashola... I have friends who own a little restaurant here in town and they said I could put a little cart in their place and sell some candles that way.. How nice!

Anyhow, I'm doing better.. Still having that darn pain, but no blood today so far!

Quincy, I'll ask about Methotrexate and see what my GI says... He's not as worried about the Remicade like he was before after talking with my neurologist... I'm sorta thinking I won't need it anyways now that I'm out.

Oh and as far as reconsidering????? If I ever tell you I'm thinking about it... I'll email you my address and you can come SHOOT ME... LOL...

I'm so glad you're out of there and feeling better! Big hugs to you! :o)