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OT ~ 2010 ~ The year of the broken heart..........

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Posted 7/22/2010 6:48 AM (GMT 0)
I had to put my cat down yesterday.......she has been my faithful companion for over 17 years, sleeping on my pillow every night, cuddling with me on the couch, sitting on the tub while I bathed, never far from my side........ I am completely devastated....... It happened so fast and I am having a hard time dealing with my grief........  My animals are my children.......... I find myself looking for her throughout the day today.  Even in my sleep last night, I found myself feeling around the bed for her.........

This year has been horrible.  First, my cousin committed suicide in March and my family needed a police escort to attend her funeral thanks to my ex-aunt who is an evil human being.  We still have no answers as to why my cousin did this...........

On July 4, one of my oldest and dearest friends lost her battle with colon cancer after a long, hard fight.  She was only 39 years old and she left behind four children.  Five days before that, her mom died suddenly.........Completely eerie as she (the mom) had told everyone that she had a pact with God that he couldn't take on of her kids before her..........

My 13 year old Chesapeake Retriever is not doing well right now either.  In fact, I was preparing myself for having to have him put down and instead had to say goodbye to my cat.  I know that my dog is not going to last much longer and I now find myself in a terrible cycle of grief.........I can't stop crying...........

Needless to say, I am not doing well healthwise...... I have barely slept in over a week, I have horrible stomach pains, and today, I started to feel the urgency and cramping that we all know so well..........

cry  

Posted 7/22/2010 11:22 AM (GMT 0)
Awww I'm sooooo sorry to hear of all the horrible things that have been happening lately!

:( They say that bad things comes in 3's but it seems you have already met your quota and then some! Just take one day at a time, take deep breaths and realize that you still have good things in your life. I know that grief is a very hard thing to deal with but it WILL get better. It may not feel like it now but it will. Hang in there ok? (hugs)

Posted 7/22/2010 12:36 PM (GMT 0)
Is there a grief support group you could go to locally?
You have so much to deal with you really need support. A grief counselor?
Don't try to hold it inside. Get help wherever you can.
Posted 7/22/2010 1:30 PM (GMT 0)
Bad things seem to happen like this, one after another in short period of time. Your not alone in this type of thing.
Posted 7/22/2010 1:32 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry for your multiple losses, this just doesn't seem fair. I have a 16 year old cat who like yours, is with me everywhere I go in the house. I know that our time together is limited and that I will have great feelings of loss, we have been through so much together and she was great company to me when my UC was at its worse and then through my surgeries. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that you can find an open door of light to get you through this.

Sue
Posted 7/22/2010 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
That's awful! I am so sorry. I hope good things start happening for you. Not that anything will make up for the loses you have endured but at least maybe it will bring some smiles to your face. Life can be a real downer at times.
Posted 7/22/2010 3:02 PM (GMT 0)
I know how you're feeling because I feel the same about this year.(miscarriage, diagnosed with UC.... etc)
Keep your head up and try to stay positive as good thing will come. Remember that life is hard but its also rewarding. Things will get better!!!
Posted 7/22/2010 4:14 PM (GMT 0)
It's so sad to hear about your grief...to have your cat pts is something I can understand so deeply, I fear that day when we'll have to do the same once again with our now 16 year old with multiple problems.
We need our pets, unfortunately, they don't live as long as we do.

I remember your family/cousin's situation in March and how it affected you and your health.

We all will have grief in our lives...our bodies will always pay the price when dealing with disease. Eventually we heal somewhat..till the next loss.

I hope memories of your kitty will bring smiles along with the tears.

quincy
Posted 7/22/2010 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry for you!
There's nothing worse than putting down a pet. On the 29th it'll be will a year since I put my 12 year old sheltie girl down. I still miss her. Pets are really part of the family and losing them is so hard!
Posted 7/22/2010 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, everyone's cats this year...this is not a good time for the fluffy ones I guess. I had to put down my 18-year-old orange tabby (mammary adenocarcinoma) and I know several others on this board lost their cats as well. Though, my girl gave me about a month with her to grieve and enjoy her company before she got so sick I had to have her put down. Royal pain in the ass during that month, too.

And I remember you posting stuff about your family before too. Sucks.

Anyway, I hope things get better for you and you can kick this pending flare in the butt before it gets too bad. Most important thing to remember right now is to take care of yourself and keep yourself healthy.
Posted 7/23/2010 2:24 AM (GMT 0)
Aw yeah... bad year. Two of my cats died this year, I dreamt that the little one was just missing and he came home and I hugged him and cried. Sometimes I see my dad's hat on top of the corn stove and think it's lil Sigi sitting up there.

My neighbor commited suicide, he was like 14... bad year this year fer sure...

I hope things settle down for you soon *hugs*

We need more good news!

Posted 7/27/2010 4:11 AM (GMT 0)
I had to put my Chesapeake, Piper, to sleep on Saturday......... I am completely done emotionally...........

I drove in the driveway tonight after work and found myself looking around the yard for him......then walked into the house and found myself looking for my cat, Gypsy........

For the first time in 15 years, I am completely alone.  My husband is away again and my house and heart are so empty.  Every day the pain is a little less crushing but it's going to take me awhile..........

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

Posted 7/27/2010 4:33 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry! Buy a big bottle of wine (if your UC allows...), take a bubble bath and just CRY. There's nothing better than just letting it all out! Hope things improve!
Posted 7/27/2010 7:51 AM (GMT 0)
Grieve.....you will heal with scars.

I'm sad for your broken heart.
Hxx
Posted 7/27/2010 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
I had to put down one of my cats in January. He was 14 and my favorite of the three brothers. The other 2 are not doing well but hanging on. My health has been awful since April and already been in the hosptial twice-awaiting another surgery date this week or next. And my dear cousin whom was never sick a day in her life and such a god person just found out stage 4 cancer. So, I sure know how you feel.
PS On the bright side I really did not want more pets but my son was devasated when the cat died and insisted on another. Well, 2 kittens later-they are the love my of life!
Posted 7/27/2010 3:33 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry,
My kitty passed away on July 2, we had her 14 years and I miss her so much! I have never had to put a pet down and was really dreading it, but she passed quietly on her own, thank goodness.

Last night before I went to sleep I was thinking about how nice it felt to pet her and hear her purr and cried a few more tears, and she came to me in my dreams and it really felt like she was back with me for a little while, and I could pet her again. I notice all my pets come back to visit me in my dreams when I am mourning them. It helps, somehow.

A new pet -- especially a shelter pet -- can help heal your heart...I really believe that. My husband isn't quite ready, he is so sad. We have another kitty, and I worry she is lonely. So I hope he is ready soon.
Posted 7/27/2010 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry for all of our losses.  Those who have never been blessed with the unconditional love of a pet cannot fathom our grief. 

I miss my cat so much that it hurts physically.  She was my shadow.  My dog was definitely loved by me but he was more my husband's shadow.

I cry every day, at least twice.  I know that in time, my heart will feel better but I just need to be able to grieve for awhile.

Thanks again for being here.  Hugs to you all.

Posted 7/28/2010 1:31 AM (GMT 0)
*hugs* I hope your husband comes home soon and you can cuddle it out.
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