Posted 9/30/2011 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
Eva Lou--
I didn't really decide to take Cimzia, it was my only option after Imuran failed, can't take 6-MP cuz of side effect from Imuran, Humira recently failed and my insurance wouldn't cover Remicade at all, which left Cimzia. I guess its a lot cheaper than Remicade b/c its a shot like Humira. I am in a very similar mindset as you--sometimes its all I can think about and other times I convince myself not to think about it or I'll go crazy. And I have definitely had the 'What the heck, my body is falling apart anyway, why bother?' thoughts too. Being depressed about all this is totally normal of course, sometimes I just can't deal with everyday things very well due to all of this on my mind as well. My symptoms are so weird right now too--one day I wake up and its really bad for a couple hours and then fine but really tired and then I'll have a day or two where I feel great. I bring this up because this is when I can appreciate everything I have, a great husband and kids and great friends and I can just enjoy life, even for a just a day or two. This is what keeps me going, the little pockets of good times and the hope of many more uninterrupted good times. Keep your chin up and fire off your questions to your doc and the surgeon until they don't know what hit them!