I can't stop be obsessive over this

I have always been the obsessive type where I will try everything.  Well I decided to get this colitis under control so I started the spinach and sunflower seed diet, (one cup of spinach and a couple of tablespoons of sunflower seed butter every day.  I also started using VSL#3 pills 2 a day one in the am. one in the p.m.  I am currently awaiting my prescription for VSL#3DS to be ready, but until then I take the pills.  I am eating very lightly, trying not to stress over anything.  Started taking slippery elm pills 3 times a day as well as other vitamins. 

I am currently taking asacol 400mg. 3 pills in the morning and 400 mg. 3 pills in evening and on short period of cortifoam once at night for another 10 days.

My life seems to revolve around this disease, everything I do I think about it, everytime I go to the bathroom I am scared to look (so scared to see blood), which I have not in over 2 weeks now.  But I cannot get it out of my mind, is this how others feel, nothing seems to distract my attention away from ulcerative colitis, but the worst is in the morning when I first go to the bathroom and keep my fingers crossed that there is no blood, how do I get over this feeling.

I also feel this way, especially in the morning. What is it about the mornings that makes it the hardest for us? I love the afternoons or evenings. I usually have little issues then. I haven't seen blood in over a year now (cross fingers) but I am always scared to look because I am afraid i'll see I have D.

Slippery Elm has often been of benefit to those with UC. Unfortunately, it coats your insides, which can be a good thing. Unfortunately again, it can coat your insides to the point where meds you take aren't properly absorbed. The first time I took it my Asacol pills were slipping right through, unused. I also take other important meds. The directions say to take Slippery Elm about an hour after other meds so that this does not happen but I question the use of Slippery Elm at all then because it seems to me that if you are using it to coat your insides then you would want your insides coated all of the time for maximum effectiveness. If it's effectiveness diminishes at some point where you can take other meds then you are not getting the full benefit of taking the slippery elm in the first place. To combat all of this, the last time I took slippery elm I took it at bedtime only so it could work it's magic during the night and I could then take my meds free of worry during the day. The first few days this strategy seemed to help but then shortly afterwards I could see no difference the slippery elm made so I discontinued it. I think Slippery elm could be a major benefit for anyone not taking any oral meds or are doing meds such as the biologics.

unfortunately, the only thing that got me to quit freaking out about everything was time - after a bunch of years, through all the ups and downs, my attitude changed from OMG to oh well, whatever -

hopefully, you'll never get there - hopefully you'll get back to remission soon and stay there for a very long time -

Even with my UC more controlled nowadays I still obsess myself with bathrooms everywhere I go.

thanks everyone for your thoughts, I am glad I am not alone in obsessing over this.   I try to take my mind off this but it always pops back up hopefully with time I will learn how to control the disease.  I am still experimenting.  Thanks all.

what one may see as obsessive another may see as well informed and prepared! :)
I know my family teases me a bit about my 'obsessive' nature - I chart while flaring and then translate that into graphs, I check this site several times a day, I read tons of websites about UC....

I prefer to think of it as well educated and taking control of a disease so it doesn't control me! knowledge is power!