Employment questions (Please read!)

Okay, so I recently had to quit my part time job at a bank. It's honestly not much of a big deal to me because I am a college student and I live at home with my parents, so the majority of the money I was earning was "fun" money and savings. I have recently been experiencing a pretty nasty flare and I am having to start Remicade.

Anyway, the bank I work for has monthly meetings to discuss our goals and the like. During this meeting, my former manager continually mentioned me and how he felt "deceived" that I hadn't told him about my illness when I was hired. (I wasn't there and I was told this from my former coworkers and I totally believe them.) I went to the regional manager today and told him what had happened. He shrugged me off and dismissed all of my concerns. I was hoping that he would be an ally and see that my former manager's behavior isn't correct.

My question is, isn't their a law that states that I don't have to disclose my disability? I've looked through the Americans with Disabilities Act and I can't find anything, but I thought someone on here might have an answer.

I was thinking the same thing that kaz said. But, for the record, they cannot ask you health related questions in job interviews unless it is an important aspect of the job (like maybe airline pilot, bus driver, etc.), nor do you have to disclose anything. I guarantee that if you had mentioned you had UC, you would not have been hired. You are young and there are a lot of things that are going to happen in your life and if you are stressing out about this fairly minor event, you are looking at a majorly stressful life. Forget about it.

I know you are young but over your lifespan a lot of people are going to talk about you behind your back. You shouldn't care so much about what others say about you, especially in an environment you are no longer part of. I'm sure a lot of people talk about me behind my back and I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. There is absolutely nothing against the law about what he said to others concerning you. You're going to have to get over it. You quit. You should have nothing to do with this place anymore. There are much better places you can spend your energy and your time than focusing on this.

I know that feeling sucks. I still worry about things like that from years ago unfortunately....its embarrassing and you feel betrayed. Move on, find an employee who us more interested in what you can bring to the team. In my experience, putting up with a crummy boss is not usually worth it. I'm sorry you've had this experience!

I def see where you are coming from. And that manager needs to be taken down a peg or two.
If we lived in the same city, I'd take care of him for ya ;)

But luckily this isn't too important a job/reference so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Def feel free to call him out on it personally... bed he'd feel like a real jack***. Unless he is a jack*** then he might not care... but you might feel better! :D

Thoreau - this sentence makes me sad:
"I'd also suggest not using this disease as any more of a crutch than you need to"

Besides my UC I also was diagnosed with Depression about a year ago. I know this is something you are blessed to be struggling with too! :D

Sometimes I beat myself up so bad because I can't do the things I feel I need to do. I can't take care of my home, my husband, my cats... heck, MYSELF some days! :D

I've really been trying to learn to take it easy on myself, accept that I have UC, and some days I am just going to have to give in to it..... for my state of mind.

So suggesting that someone might be using their diagnosis as a crutch, kind of makes me sad. And I recognize that's a "me" issue, but my heart feels a little tugged on, like I'm making excuses and why can't I just try harder.

Just sharing thoughts.... :) :)

I think there are times when all of us want to use our conditions as a crutch; it's only normal when things get tough. So I don't know that it hurts for all of us to have this reminder.

Xocass, you're right that it isn't appropriate for this manager to talk about your health issues to others you hadn't chosen to tell. But it's also true that this is going to happen again, and we all have to decide how important it is to us. Getting upset and stressed isn't likely to help your health, but only you can decide what's best to do.

If you told your manager and coworkers about your UC, you cant expect them not to talk about it. It's a tightrope you walk when expecting accomodation but also privacy. Technically you dont have to reveal your disability, but then how would they know what accomodation is reasonable?
I dont know about HIPAA applying to employers, I thought it was directed at medical providers.

If you were still in the job, I think this kind of situation requires a nonconfrontational discussion with the supervisor and working together to negotiate what will work for everyone under the circumstances. I can understand an employer being frustrated to be stuck with an employee who it turns out cannot do all of what was expected when they could have hired another, but that is our public policy on the matter. It doesn't help to be militant about it - I am not saying you were - but it's important to try to make it work as best it can for everyone.

Since you are not in the job anymore, chalk it up to a disappointing work experience and try to let it go. You can't fix everything and everybody.

I never used UC as a crutch, because except when I was first diagnosed, I have never let my boss or workmates know about it! I learned my lesson when I was forced out of that first job soon after I was diagnosed with UC. Upon reflection, I think since they already had one lawyer with UC, they knew they didnt want another.

A good old saying
"What you think about me is none of my business."

Dmc... we say that a lot at my work.... and our members HATE it.

Its a hard pill to swallow! But important :)

That was our point. You quit so you don't need them to understand.

You all have no idea how much I'd love to start a new company and hire people with GI issues, allow employees to bring their dogs to work and have dozens of toilets all over the place. With two sewer lines. Ack, why not have 3 (in case one or two back up!).

Also age wouldn't be an issue. 18-80, please apply.

(I took a new job 2.5 months ago and one of the first things I noticed was how many bathrooms were at my disposal).

OP - carry on, I feel your pain.

My work has a mens and womans upstairs... one toilet each. And a secret old rickety toilet downstairs in the dungeon. Completely private, creepy and ALMOST too far away. And that one time it was TOO far. I'm glad I have free reign over bathrooms tho. When I gotta go i can stop whatever I'm doing and run.