I'm sorry to hear your feeling so bad...your letter brought a tear to my eye!
I agree that if you stick around on this site, you will learn a lot, which is important...and not only that, you will feel less isolated and alone..I think with this disease you have to try to be brave and strong.....even when your not feeling that way!
With regards to food...I take sugar, not too much, but everything in moderation works for me, and of course everyone reacts differently to certain foods, your body will let you know what you can and cant have...when I was first diagnosed I found it helpful to keep a note of what I was eating every day, I did this only for a month, which for me was long enough to know what worked for me and what didn't..its a drag, but worth doing.
I also think you also have to accept that you have the disease and that its not going away any time soon, that's a hard and painful fact, and whilst we look to the doctors to help us, ultimately you have to take control yourself, which means finding out as much as you can about
the disease, and what might help you...
I hope this helps a bit.