Public Exposure

Not sure If I've ever posted about this here. I've been through some bad times with UC over my 14 year DX...
I'm thinking of one time in particular, but could mention many, many others. Wondering I what the Police would do as far as Public Exposure with what some of us have had to resort to.
I was on vacation, at a cabin with family and friends. Had to drive into town about 2 miles away. It's daylight, early afternoon, and as I get close to town "old faithful" is ready to destroy anything that gets in it's way. I am using every bit of strength and concentration to NOT destroy the inside of the family van. Desperately I pull into a vacant parking lot, building wasn't open for business. Squirmed, fought with myself and I tried to reason out what to do. "Can I make it to a public toilet?" "Can I breath again without exploding?"...I parked the vehicle at an angle to the passing traffic, pulled down my pants, and blew up the parking lot!" Sad, disgusted, you know all the emotions that come along with these times...I've had to pull over on a major interstate, take off running for the trees, while my family stays in the vehicle,, and so on.....
There are only 2 of my many "code browns." Thankfully no Police spotted me....what would they do??? Anyone have the Police involved during one of these disasters?? I mean really! A person ends up on the sex offender list for Public Exposure! I would hope that any law officer would (make the sign of the cross and) count his blessings that it's not him/her in this terrible situation.

The typo (or was it?) in your comment made me chuckle, enfyre (am I 12 years old haha?)

That would be really embarrassing and would induce a total loss of dignity for me.

As for driving - one of my greatest fears is driving while flaring. I think it's akin to driving drunk. We not only put ourselves at risk, but others as well when scrambling and speeding to find bathrooms. Total loss of cognition when this happens.

Just last fall I was doing yard work (backyard) thankfully and the urge did the usual going from zero to 100 in about 1.5 seconds. So I thought I'm in my yard not 25 yards from an inside bathroom, I've got this, so I calmly stand up and take about 3 steps when I realized that 25 yards to my colon was more like 25 miles. Plan B went into motion, code brown, defcon 5, whatever you want to call it, my head turned into a swivel as I panned around for neighbors and a safe haven. Looked at my pretty little bush up against the fence and thought I think I can make it another five steps for sure. Of course I was depanting as I took those final fatal steps across the grass. Made it about a step away before I had to pull a 180 bend over and fire a shot at that poor little inoccent bush. The whole ordeal lasted about 45 seconds from the urge to completion. To this day I still apologize to that poor little guy for taking a direct hit for the team on a such nice fall day. The sad part is it stained the wood fence so I have a something to remember it by.

uc should have various achievements one can unlock, as in videogaming.

That would be great.

I can just picture a little icon popping up over my head as I drive down the highway. Congradulations with that last soil you have unlocked the super absorbant 6 ply underwear pack. You are now 3 soils away from unlocking the mobile portapotty.

Bad Gut--

You are too funny!!! Thanks for putting a smile on my face! Everyone's stories/comments are great!

I do not have UC, but do have other severe intestinal stuff, including bowel incontinence, so I often read/post here because I can identify with a lot of what is said. Had problems all my life, finally sought tx in January of this year. I cannot tell you how much these forums have helped. Made me feel not alone, got support, learning a lot, and mentally have begun to learn to accept things better--the shame and all the horrible feelings I had about myself have really lessened a great deal!!

Can't say I've ever crapped in the woods or stuff like that, but my pants? Lots of times! One of the worst was about a month or so ago, in the grocery store w/ my mom. We're filling up the cart, when suddenly I feel warmth spreading down my pants. Uh-Oh!!!! Luckily it was still cold out, so I had a jacket--tied that around my waist, ditched the cart, and tried to sneak out of the store without anyone seeing me and without leaving a trail!! Went home (drove w/ windows open & froze), cleaned up, and went back to the store. Cart was where we left it. Finished shopping and once safely home again, had a laugh about it. Now, when I leave the house, I bring a crap kit w/ me (got the idea from here), which consists of extra disposable underwear, clean clothes, flushable wipes, and plastic bags to put the dirty stuff in. Gives me a little piece of mind!

It can be dangerous to drive when the urge hits and you're in a mad panic to find a place to go besides in your pants...a minivan with the very back bench seat taken out and replaced with a port-o-potty works great, then you can pull over fairly quickly pretty much anywhere, go to the back of your minivan and do your thing...that's what I did.

code brown, lol. I had a situation not that long ago where I didn't think i was going to make it to the bathroom. I was seriously driving around a city looking for a barricade or something I could get behind within the time I had left, which was like 10 seconds! Luckily, I saw a gas station and I was able to get in and use the toilet. It was a smelly single stall without a door lock but i Had no choice. I felt very lucky that day. It could have easily gone the other way and I would have had to drive home with crap in my pants.

I second Deacon Blues comment as I had a year-long flare up of uc and I gotta work and live my life during that time. Don't exactly have the luxury of just staying indoors where it's safe for all of that time.

garylouisville said...
I hate to say this but maybe you need to avoid these situations until you get your condition more under control.

I do have to admit though, that the first 2-3 years of the onset of this disease were absolutely horrible. I was a hermit, couldn't even think of leaving the house except for going to work. Fatigued, sad, depressed, sick, feverish, bedridden, sore...right now my "flares" are kept at about 1 per year. This has got me thinking about those first few years again, I had FMLA coverage for missing work...Lord Have Mercy it was so horrible!!!!
I hope that ALL of us have a more healthy day today. God give us a cure, please.
Deacon Blues

garylouisville said...
Actually my post was referring to being on vacation out in the woods in the middle of nowhere. I know UC has altered my vacation plans from what they used to be.

I see, understood