Had a mandatory meeting at work today.

It was an important meeting scheduled by the VP asking all staff of a section to present themselves at 0950 hours sharp at the big meeting room. I had inside knowledge that it was positive stuff, but still, U.C. and meetings don't jive well together.

So I force myself to do some toilet business just 5 minutes before the start of the meeting but of course didn't produce much of anything. So, anyways, I go in, and gradually, the room fills up with around 100 people (It's not the full section, some are of sick, some in vacation, you know, the usual), but it's a big chuck. Stupidly, I decide to sit near my boss at the other end of the exit.

Everyone is talking and joking, including me..blah blah blah. Then, the meeting stats. Everyone is quiet, the VP starts giving his speech and then I start getting mild urges.

(In my head): You gotta be freaking kidding me. No ****cking way, and what da f.. am I doing all the way in the back. So, I start lounging on the chair, you know trying to lessen the pressure, I guess?

(In my head): What do I do, do I leave right in the middle of his speech. I can't do that, people are looking, it might be disrespectful. I take big breaths....biiiig breaths. the urge lessens....

All sudden, the VP asks the President to speak. (that was unexpected)

(in my head) I'm like ohhhh noooo. I'm going to have to leave in her speech. Shoot me now!

The urge comes back. I'm like f...........me....what do I do...If I get up, I have to get past all the people while they are watching the president speak. I can hear my stomach or intestines make some noise. At that point, I seriously do not know what to do. I am in an impossible situation.

She finishes speaking, everyone applauds.

(in my head) Oh, maybe I'll leave now, it"s noisy. Urge lessens. I'm like okkkk....I guess I stay...

VP continues his speech and congratulates an individual. The individual gets up, makes his speech...

At this point the urge is stable but doesn't feel like it's escalating. The meeting ends up finishing earlier than scheduled.

In the end I felt like a million $$, making it through THAT meeting without issues.

I tell the guy near me: Hmm, that was rather short, I thought it would be longer....lololo

I get out of the room, and the urge is gone. UC is cruel like that.

I was at the edge of my seat reading that. Glad you made it through. Darn disease.

Serenity Now said...
Okay, how about this? When you go to a meeting bring coffee or water with you. If you feel the "urge" and you need to leave, take a drink and pretend it went down the wrong way. Start hacking and coughing and hurriedly jump up, waving an apology as you go.

haha, sounds interesting but a little too dramatic for my tastes. I don't think I'll play this right. lol

toomuchpoopin said...
Guts: "we lied! We have to poop now!!!! Poop release...imminent!"

lolol

hateuc said...
I was at the edge of my seat reading that.

I was on the edge of my seat WHILE in the meeting lol.

I like reading this type little stories it takes the drama out of a bad situation and it makes me giggle. Most of all I fell I'm not alone ;)

Glad you made it thought.

Coming to a cinema near you soon. Tenesmus: The Urges That Couldn't Calm Down.

:p

You won the battle my friend. Now let's win the war!

I can relate. How long was the meeting? I was just at a 2-hour meeting with only 5 people - chairs of departments. I was proud of myself for not leaving the entire time! If I feel gurgly, gassy, I immediately know something is wrong, and can usually trace it back to my diet or what I did the day before.

I still love my morning coffee, enema, sometimes suppository, and bodily evacuation - following. Seems to keep me calm for the entire day.

Again showing how much of the urge is psychological. In college, when I had a roommate and one bathroom, the urge was greatest when the roommate was occupying the toilet. Aggravating.

Glad you made it through.

I'm lucky to be at the stage where I get plenty of warning if a BM is coming and can hold off for quite a while.
Even so I sit at the end of a row, near a clear path to the restroom when at a concert, movie or whatever.
Still carry emergency change of underwear and won't travel on a bus with no bathroom.
The fear of urgency and embarrassment never completely goes away.
This disease really gets in your head!
IAS