Feeling extremely low, need to vent.

Super, I feel your pain. I had a major flare during coursework and am still in one that started while I was writing my diss. Now as a professor, I feel like I am often barely scraping by, just doing the minimum amount of work required. It's often a chore for me to teach (and I only teach one day a week) and my research has fallen off tremendously.

The most important thing for you to do is to figure out the right combinations of medication that will get you feeling better and give you some energy. I'm glad you're off the MTX (it didn't work for me either--just made me miserable). You should talk to your GI about other options for managing your UC beyond just the Humira. Make sure you are taking supplements as well, especially things like Vitamin D, B12, and Magnesium, as all of these can make you feel more fatigued.

I'm very glad to hear your supervisor is understanding--many aren't. I know that it's scary thinking your funding is running out, but stress is the last thing you want to increase. If you're up to it, try setting small goals for each day/week/month. Try to accomplish one or two a day (make sure they are manageable). Slow and steady progress is better than no progress. At the same time, don't beat yourself up when there are days (or weeks) when you don't really get anything accomplished. Your No. 1 priority is to get healthier--if you don't do that, it'll be that much harder to finish the PhD.

Also, don't feel like you'd be a failure if you don't finish. A degree does not make a person. I certainly understand the feeling of being so committed and so far along and not finishing seems like the worst option ever, but it's not if finishing means getting sicker. Finishing after a certain age isn't bad either (I was 32 when I graduated--I was diagnosed a few months before starting grad school).

Finally, I'm not sure how things work in Ireland, but there should be people at the university you can talk to about disability or taking a break and restarting in a semester or two that won't hurt your funding. Do some research into that.

Super,
I know you had specific goals for yourself but the universe often has other plans.
Those plans give us an education that we never would have chosen but it is invaluable, none the less.
I'm referring to what we learn about our bodies, mental states and more specifically, our digestive systems. Then there's the lesson about what we are capable of when things don't go according to plan. We're forced to become creative and resourceful even from our sick beds.

Hopefully, you will figure out what works for you and end up healthier and stronger than you were before.

I find it interesting that you aren't on the highest dose of Asacol - 4800mgs. You might need another 8 week course of prednosilone. Have you made any diet adjustments or been taking mega dose probiotics?

Hi there Super,

I'm sorry that you are feeling so low and I know its so easy to say but with out our health we have nothing but an element of that is true and the more you stress and worry about things then this is not going to help matters in the case of your UC.

I have also been in flare since January also with Moderate- Pancolitis and have found things very difficult and stressful have had no energy levels and l have had to try and go to work and pay the mortgage and also like you could not see any light at the end of the tunnel and just thought how terrible things are and just felt down and down every day just waiting for things to get better. Again I know its easy to say but it all takes time.

Patience is something us UC'ers need in abundance.

I have recently had an Iron Infusion which has helped wonders and have my energy levels back for the first time in a long, long time. Getting out of bed in the morning not feeling more tired than I went to bed.

I am fairly new to finding out about my condition although I was diagnosed in late 2011 and don't claim to be any expert and have not tried Humira but I will tell you what I have been taking.

I had another scope two weeks ago while still in flare the out come Pan-colitis my Uc had progressed from left sided.

To say I felt depressed would be an understatement.

My GI has put me on Pred 40mg for one week tapering 5mg a week until I get to 20mg stay at this for two weeks and the tapper again until eventual finish.

On top of that I have upped my Asacol to 4.8g a week and been told to stay at this dose for 6 weeks and then reduce to maintenance dose of 2.4g.

I am also taking VSL#3 1 sachet along with phyllum husk, which is a soluble fibre and good for UC, two scoops a day mixed with water.

I have been on this now for nearly two weeks and feel the best I have for nearly two years Formed Stools and only one bowel movement a day I feel like a new man. Going out walking and riding a bicycle most days, I can see the light. Not going to get to excited but taking one day at a time.

It will happen just hang on in there like people are saying you just need to find the right combo.

You seem to have a really understanding supervisor who is trying to elevate some of your stress for you which Is a good thing Positive they are doing all they can for you.

I really hope that things start to get better for you shortly I am sure they will just think positive and put your energy into getting better. Take control and go back to you Consultant for some more advice.

Hang on in there you will get there in the end.

I wish you lots of luck