Best way to talk about ulcerative colitis with a loved one?

I would like to have a conversation with My boyfriend of 5 months now about their condition. But I'm not sure how to start things off or what kind of topics are going to be too sentisative. how would someone with UC like this to be approached? Also he skips his medication a lot which scares me. How should I tell him to take his medication? because I've asked him if it hurts or if any bad side effects occur. I'll get the names of the medication soon but he take one pink pill in the morning and one larger white one along with the same white one at night.
Thank you in advance

I agree with momto2boys about the approach. I am also in a 5 month relationship with someone now and I tried to hide my condition for months. He thought I was a drug addict because I was in the bathroom so much! I think you both will be relieved once you have that conversation but I would say to not push too hard for details that he is not ready to reveal yet. Ask open ended questions like momtoboys suggested and see what he is ready to reveal. Talking about bathroom woes is obviously very difficult. I would focus on the positive and on how he keeps in remission.

I'd recommend first reading/researching about uc yourself a bit. Just so you understand what the disease is, symptoms, a little about the medications, etc. Before bringing it up with your boyfriend. Uc is an embarrassing disease, so he may or maynot want to go into great detail about it, as it involves a general social taboo of bowel movements, uc is an invisible disease which can make one feel isolated, cause anxieties, body image issues, and depression along with it. So, I'd be respectful and try not to press him, if he doesn't want to fully open up. But if he does, be ready for whatever that entails (if you've read posts hear than you'd know we talk about anything) lol.

Certainly, showing an interest in his disease is sweet, I'd approach it as is there anything you can do to help, sometimes that's just understanding and listening. Other times, for example, when uc is bothering us, nothing feels better than a warm water bottle/heat pad on the lower abdomen, and spending the day at home. I don't know about telling him to take his pills, maybe not right away unless you want a "thanks mom" response lol. It's important he takes his pills, but I'd hold off for a while until he openly talks about his illness.

Uc is an autoimmune disorder, where the immune system attacks the lining of the large intestine, causing inflammation, bleeding, ulcers, urgency, pain, and diarrhea. There is no cure or known cause. Medications treat the symptoms and many of us live pretty normal lives. It's characterized by periods of remission (that is symptom-free times) and flare (when symptoms return in full force). Early mornings are generally pretty difficult for us (often multiple, urgent bathroom trips), so he may not want to wakeup and immediately jump in a car and drive somewhere (anxiety at high alert); don't rush or schedule something later in the morning. Some of us have diet restrictions, so avoiding gluten, dairy, or specific foods might be part of his life; cook a meal together rather than having a restaurant menu with unknown ingredients. And if he doesn't want to go out, feels unwell, then he means it; we all have down/bad days where our world is home and no futher.

If he's taking pink/red/orange pills their likely anti-inflammatory meslamine-based medications (like lialda, asacol hd, apriso). The white ones could be immunomodulators (Imuran, 6mp) that surpress the immune system, slightly. These are educated guesses without knowing more.

Flares should be quite rare for well managed uc (often many years between them). If he flares frequently then his maintenance medications aren't strong enough (needs stronger doses, or medications). Diet is extremely individual. Generally bland, cooked, non-spicey, and not high fiber are best when flaring badly. Smaller, more frequent snacks are often better than large meals (a large weight over a sore gut is very uncomfortable). It's whatever he'll eat.

Great synopsis ipoop!

As to your question, I don't think you could do any harm or ask the wrong question. You seem like a very kind, empathetic and caring person, so whatever you say is guided by that:)