notsosicklygirl said...
No one is convincing anyone of anything. Everyone needs to do what is right for them. I do not like that you constantly paint a negative picture of surgery, and scare other people, but that's your perspective & perhaps a logical one from the information you've received. No one can or should convince anyone - I can assure you that it is no ones intent, to convince people they do not know, to have a life-altering surgery. People do what they want, and that's how it should be. Hopefully you're never in the position of needing surgery. When it comes to literally pooping your pants everyday for months, or surgery, surgery does start to look a little more appealing. If you think I am a surgery pusher, you're welcome to ignore me, or whoever else, makes you feel pressured.
I never singled out people who wanted surgery or who have had surgery. My beef is with modern medicine, not the patients who are innocently trying to navigate a horrible hell disease. I just said that I don't want it, and why. I also believe calling it a cure is crap. I respect that it brings appreciable functionality back to people's lives and for some it is their amazing solution. I still wouldn't call it a cure. But without fail, people show up to directly contradict what I'm saying; or they say that I obviously don't have it bad enough otherwise I'd consider it (like you just did); or they feel the need to justify their own choices in reflection of my choices. To me, if you (general "you", not you you) didn't feel insecure somehow about
your ostomy, then you wouldn't been bothered by what I'm saying; because I'm not targeting you, I am just telling my story like anyone else. I never meant to imply that people who had surgery wanted it in the sense that they were skipping for joy. Obviously nobody wants surgery just like nobody wants IBD.
NSSG, I have read your story. I've also had septicemia. I've also had bowel perforation. I survived both without surgery. I am a 6'4" man who has been less than 120lbs soaking wet when my UC was at its worst. I have been in diapers. How "bad" do I have to be before my choice to not have surgery is justified, in your eyes? I am saying all this because no matter how bad my UC gets, I will NEVER get surgery. I would rather die and that's my choice. The doctors are legally forbidden from removing my bowels. I'm sorry if that rocks the boat or instills fear in others. I am part of this community and I represent a very real demographic in the UC world. I resent that people imply I must not be bad enough otherwise I would consider surgery, or I'm just a suicidal idiot, or I must not really want to get better. I am one of the worst UC patients my GI team has ever seen and they hate me for the fact that I won't let them cut me
open. They have told me so. It's the same hate I get here. I'm not defiant because I think I'm superior or above the system. I'm defiant because I can't handle the trauma of surgery, psychologically. I just won't do it. Surgery is less acceptable to me than death, and that is my right.