Hi, new here

hiceskater

New Member

Joined : Mar 2012

Posts : 1

Posted 3/30/2012 8:33 PM (GMT 0)

Hi guys,

I'm new here, and although I'm not actually a heart patient myself, I need some advice and reassurance if you guys can give it to me. My fiance had his 4th heart attack this Wednesday, and although it wasn't as damaging to the muscle as previous ones, the pain from it has seemed to go on forever. Now, he's currently still in hospital, and that's not actually what I'm most worried about. It's when he gets home. I mean, I understand that he won't be able to do much of anything, but the thing is, I work all day, and I'm so scared about what's going to happen while I'm out. He had a heart attack last July, but it didn't seem to change his attitude towards anything. He seemed to spend all day in bed, and, even when he said he would, he wouldn't do some of the more simple things I asked him to, something as simple as sorting his dirty laundry. I mean, I'd even leave it on the bed for him. I'm just so scared that it's going to keep going like this, and I really don't want to lose him to a heart attack that he has in a sense brought on himself by his reluctance to do anything to help himself.
I guess what I'm really asking is what would you guys have wanted your loved ones to do for you, or encourage you to do for yourselves after a heart attack? I just really don't know what to do to help him anymore.

Thanks guys

RickyB

Regular Member

Joined : Dec 2003

Posts : 106

Posted 3/31/2012 11:30 PM (GMT 0)

without my wife's support and encouragement I'm not sure how it would have went.I've had two MI's and a quad bipass.she has been there for me through it all.
For starters your fiance has to want to get better.it sounds like he has depression and doesn't care what happens.See if you can talk to his doctor and get him some help.
Good luck.

RickyB

Faded Design

New Member

Joined : Feb 2012

Posts : 7

Posted 4/1/2012 4:52 AM (GMT 0)

I think RickyB hit the nail on the head there. After my first heart attack I didn't want to do anything. Mostly out of fear of having another attack. I went through alot of depression and even though I had my family and wife beside me, I felt alone. Untill you do whatever activity, you dont know how your heart will react and It's kind of scary.

There's just no way you or anyone who hasn't had heart problums could know how it feels to be so.... helpless. (for the lack of a better word) It took a long time before I finaly came out of it and started doing things again. Only thing I could say to you is be supportive. Maybe the two of you could go to a support group. Hang in there. Good luck.

stkitt

Elite Member

Joined : Apr 2007

Posts : 32602

Posted 4/1/2012 10:40 PM (GMT 0)

hiceskater,

I agree with the others - it appears to be that your finance has depression going on and is just plain afraid of doing anything that may stress his heart. I am surprised his Dr. did not suggest a cardiac rehabilitation program for him. Cardiac rehabilitation services are designed to help a person to recover faster and to return to a full and productive life.

Having a heart attack can be very frightening and traumatic, and afterwards it is common to have feelings of anxiety. For many people, the emotional stresses can cause them to feel depressed and tearful for the first few weeks after returning home from hospital. Your fiance has had 2 attacks now so I suspect he is very frightened.

If feelings of depression persist, let your fiance's GP know about it. The Dr. won't be able to discuss your fiance's problems with you but at least you have let him know.

Most of al let him know you are there for him but don't enable him to be a cardiac cripple.

Kindly,

Kitt

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