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Why can't I cry?

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GERD & Acid Reflux
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Posted 8/3/2010 10:01 PM (GMT 0)
Ok, another ENT symptom, but I daren't mention it to the docs, because they're trying to explain this all away under the "stress" umbrella, and I fear mentioning anything emotional will give them more ammunition.

So, I can get upset at things, like sad movies etc, and when I get sad about life I get tears and choked, but I cannot physically cry, as in, sob. My throat isn't capable of doing the action. It is also difficult to laugh, but crying is almost impossible.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? I only ask because my throat symptoms are so frightening, and no doctor is interested in letting me speak, they just ask me the standard questions and hush me up when I try to offer info, or get absorbed in the computer screen or reading something when I try to talk to them. I feel so alone right now.

I have had 3 scopes now, and a few docs looked into my mouth, and none of them have said anything besides bowing of the vocal chords. I am not happy, this whole GERD thing has made me dislike doctors.

BTW, thanks to you people on here for your kindness and patience. I moan a lot I know, but this is the only place I feel heard. It saves my bacon sometimes!
Posted 8/3/2010 10:15 PM (GMT 0)
zeldagoblin

I do not have an answer for you but it does seem  possible that the vocal chords could be involved.

I hope another member has some input for you.

Posted 8/3/2010 10:43 PM (GMT 0)
Your weakness of the vocal cords could be the issue.
Do you have a horse voice or breathlessness when you're tired?
There is a surgery they can do for it. It involves injecting fat into the weak areas of the cord. It's not long lasting, but it can help.
Posted 8/3/2010 10:50 PM (GMT 0)
I don't have any answers for you ... But I can sure relate to not wanting to tell the doctors ..I have already be put on Klonapin because they think my shortness of breath is probably anxiety....and I am 99.9% sure its not .. {{{Hugs}} I know how frustrating it is dealing with stuff .... at least the Klonipin does make me less anxious about the doctors now :-/
Posted 8/5/2010 9:24 AM (GMT 0)
Weak vocal chords is a possibility, is this something that GERD can cause? I am feeling so unwell right now,  I cannot cope with this, and I feel utterly abandoned by the medical profession. Seen so many idiots who are hell bent on getting me under the knife rather than listening to my actual issues, where do I turn? All the while my symptoms worsen and worsen. I am ready to throw in the towel.

<Edit> I am sorry for the edit and I thank you for your understanding of why I removed one sentence from your post.

Kindly,

Kitt

 

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/5/2010 7:25:35 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/5/2010 12:19 PM (GMT 0)
Please don't throw in the towel. There are too many of us that are fighting through this painful disease. There are enough good things in life to struggle through the bad times for. Like you, I've been losing hope for the future, but know that there are those that love you and need you here on earth. God understands our pain even if the doctors don't. Be strong and keep searching for the answer!
Posted 8/5/2010 1:34 PM (GMT 0)
zeldagoblin

I feel like you are perhaps struggling with depression brought on by all of the medical issues you are going through.  I would encourage you to talk with your physician re your feelings of hopelessness. Never lose hope in dealing with your fears and depression.

I have dealt with depression for 28 years and the majority of the time I do well with therapy and medication.  Also accepting that you may have depression and seeking help is a good thing.

I am going to post some info here for you so please do seek help if you are in a bad place.

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Remember you can always call 911 or present yourself to and ER if you are in crisis.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 


Posted 8/5/2010 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
Gerd can affect your vocal cords, if the acid is coming up that far.
Posted 8/6/2010 12:17 AM (GMT 0)
Hang in there Zelda you will get there. Keep searching there will be a doctor who will listen. I think most of us on here can sympathise with the doctor frustration you are feeling.
Posted 8/7/2010 11:06 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the support guys, I feel bad for being so down but it's so hard, I have never experienced anything so challenging. The voice is part of a person's identity, and when it is compromised for a long time, it seems to have a massive impact on the psyche. Not only can I not speak well, I can't feel properly happy or sad, because of the effects on the larynx, and the pain that ensues from it.

I used to sing, and it was a huge part of my life, and now I can hardly speak. I miss singing like my right arm, and it is almost like I am grieving, but I can't even grieve properly because I can't get emotional. My feelings are all on lockdown.

In addition, when my vocal chords are not working properly, I can't think in words. It's as though thinking words is connected with my larynx, and one is directly effected by the other. SO when I am in pain and my vocal chords are ineffective, I can't think, and I go on to auto pilot, I am like a zombie. I honestly feel less intelligent when I am having a bad day.

Thankyou for your patience, I really felt the need to express how massive the impact of this has been. I feel weak, powerless and totally isolated. This whole experience has been totally disempowering.

I intend to ask my doc for a referral to a counsellor. I need some support desperately.

Thanks for being there.
Posted 8/7/2010 11:35 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry you're having a hard time, Liz.

I understand brain fog. I get spells of it too with my hypothyroidism.

I believe your voice will heal once you fix the reflux.

I used to sing in church choir before my reflux started messing up my throat. I'm now beginning to try singing again. It's not coming back fast, but it's getting there. Atleast I'm not cracking and croaking as much.
Posted 8/8/2010 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
Oh Zelda I understand how you feel I used to feel like that about food. I missed food so much cause I am a real foodie. It's such a loss having something you love taken away from you by a condition that nobody seems to understand. Why do some people get it and other people eat like pigs and suffer no consequences? It's not fair!!
I'm sure you will sing again love keep pestering that doctor until he/she has to do something for you to get you off his/her back :-)
Posted 8/8/2010 8:51 PM (GMT 0)
Liz, 

I am so glad to read you are going to look into counseling.  Depression and physical illness are intimately related. Depressed mood is thought to contribute to the development and progression of some illnesses, while physical illness can in turn increase the risk of depression.

People do grief for something they love and that they are no longer able to do ~ like your singing.   I went through a identity crisis when I had to take early retirement due to health problems.  I was grieving for the loss of my role as an ER nurse and the loss of the friends that continued on without me when I retired. 

I know where your coming from and what your going through.

Gentle Hugs and stick with us.

 

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