Please dear Friends... I am losing my mind...

PlDear HW Friends,

Please I need your advice as I feel like I might die. 

Back in November 2011 I began to feel like I might choke as I took a bite of food and needed to push it down with a mouthful of water.  One day at work I felt severe, stabbing chest pain unlike anything I had felt.  I attributed it to stress but things immediately went downhill and I found it difficult to swallow any food because it felt stuck in the middle of my chest.

I am 50 years old and haven't had a period in a year and have had the bout of hot flashes and night sweats.  I used to become dizzy at times at night in bed and experience heart palpitations which I attributed to the change in weather and barometric pressure.  Am I insane? 

I have been trying to eat soft foods but have many food allergies (corn, milk, eggs, nuts, etc.) and have not been eating much because eveything I put into my mouth refluxes back (white and acid with some texture). 

I feel like I may die.  I have lost 35 pounds and am so weak I can hardly make it through the day.  I've been for a barium swallow (moderate reflux) and gastroscopy (negative) and countless blood tests, ultrasounds all of which have provided no answer to what is wrong with me.

Ohhhhh the night!  I dread the night.  The moment night falls the regurgitation of white matter and acid into the back of my throat starts and continues throughout teh night.  I am sleeping on a raised bed, with a wedge and pillows in a 90-degree position but the acid and contents continue to flow upwards into my mouth and sinuses strangling me.  I am terrified

I am going to die.  I am so sstressed and pleaswe help me.  No one seems to know what is wrong iwth me.  I am a wreck and exhausted and cannot eat anything soft even liquids reflux.  I am on prevacid fast tab twice a day and even the metoclopramide that is supposed to empty an already empty stomach is refluxing back into my mouth and choking me.

Please does anyone know what is going on with me!  Could it be hormones, an infection?  Parasite?  Anything?!

God Bless you all, please comment.  I am so afraid.

Paula

Serenna50 Welcome to the GERD/Heartburn forum. This forum is for questions, discussions and support relating to Gastroesophageal Reflux (GERD - Heartburn) and include Causes, Complications, Diagnosis, Medical Treatments, Surgical Treatments, and Symptoms. I am not a Dr. but I would suspect you have high anxiety going on along with your GERD symptoms.  You are not insane and you are not going to die.  You are a person going through a rough time and I agree with theacidrefluxman - be your own best advocate.  Look for a GI Physician that will follow up with further testing as you are obviously ill.   Any illness that in some way seems to increase an individual's helplessness and hopelessness will also be a trigger for anxietyand/or depression.   Here is a breathing exercise that may help you when your feeling anxous and afraid.   The Divided Breath: Imagine your lungs as having 3 parts. The bottom third, the middle, and top third. On the inhale fill the bottom third first, then the middle and finally the third. Make sure that this is one continuous breath, but divided, with a slight pause in between each third. Hold the breath in for 3-5 seconds if possible. Exhale in reverse. First blow out the top third, then the middle, and finally the bottom third of your lungs until all air is expelled. (remember the pauses) Repeat several rounds for a total of about 10 minutes. Practicing this every day will not only give you control and structure to your breathing, it will strengthen and loosen the thoracic muscles, allowing better, more productive breathing, and relieving the chest tightness! Please know that we are here for you and keep talking with us.  Feel comfortable venting as we all need to let out our feelings. Kindly, Kitt  

PS. The ER Doc gave me sub-lingual Lorazapan which doesn't help. It just makes it easier to cry.

Dear Kitt,

I just tried to eat 4 spoonfulls of pureed pumpkin and soymilk and it is stuck somewhere below my collarbones. This is what scares me the most!! I cannot eat! Not even soft foods. I have lost over 30 pounds and Im scared.

Is food getting stuck there common with GERD? Will it ever go away? Should I try to eat more to force it down... Im scared because at night everything comes back up into my mouth.

Please talk to me. I am terrified. I even took a Lorazapan to calm down but Im not calm. Im so dreading the night time when this becomes so much worse. Even standing up everything backs up into my throat at night!

Hi Faith,

I had a GED which they say was normal.  I also had a barium swallow which showed moderate reflux.  I am supposed to have a PH monitoring test next week that scares the death out of me.

The day after my GED, I felt fine, they had given me a throat motility pill to take.  The pill got stuck in my throat just above my collarbones for what felt like days.  I was a mess.  I could taste the pill stuck there...perhaps in one of the six biopsy sites they took during the endoscopy.  Since then everything sticks there.  The PH Monitoring test scares me so much.

I don't know how I will be here at home with a tube down my nose and into my esophagus for 24 hours.  The ENT tried to look down at my throat and the moment the scope got to that point in my neck I freaked out and pulled it out!  Im sure I have more damage there now.

Have you had the PH Monitoring 24-hour test?  What does it show? 

Are you able to swallow solid food again?  Will I ever be able to sit down to dinner with my family ever again?  I am so darn scared.

You can ask for sedation with your scopes. Also they make a small capsule that they can attach (while your sedated) to your esophagus to do the pH test. It passes on through your body safely after three-four days. It's called a Bravo.

You've probably got a hiatal hernia causing the stuck food feeling. Believe me it's not stuck, the skin is just sensitive there and is irritated.
The idea testing you need is:
Barium swallow
Endoscopy
Stomach emptying
Motility study (manometry)
pH Study

Serena, - so sorry you are going through this but you definitely have others here that have or are still struggling along with you.

I just recently posted my GERD Saga story so feel free to read it because it may help calm some of your fears. My REFLUX lasted for a few years and was not caught until just recently when I had my Endoscopy done which revealed I had a Hiatal Hernia and a rather abnormally LARGE Diaphram/Hole which made it easy for things to slide up and press on my chest and cause the severe GERD Pain/Reflux.

As a result of all that backwash coming up through my throat this past year, my Endoscopy revealed that my Throat/Esophogus was given the WORSE GRADE RATING of a D-

I did not test positive for Barrott's esophogus but I was headed in that direction or WORSE (cancer) if the Grade D did not improve.

Needless to say, none of the medications I took worked and Surgery has been the best option to fix this issue. I had surgery on Monday (March 5th) and was discharged on Wednesday (March 7th). I can't seem to sleep as the pain meds are just not working for me but instead making me very restless/anxious. I have slept 2 hours total (I think) over the past 3 days.

UGH...

You can read my full story here:

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=45&m=2363603


*You will see from my story that I REFUSED the 24 hour PH Test after I had to suffer through the worst Manometry Test in the WORLD. I also learned AFTER I had this archaic test that they can put some type of 'chip' in your throat to record the PH testings and take the measurements as well for swallowing. If you have insurance and they will pay then RUN and get that TEST/PROCEDURE performed (they knock you OUT) instead of having to sit there while this strobe/snake goes up your nose and down your throat and stays there for almost an hour because the incompetent nurse could not get any reading 'standard' or 'calibrated' for almost 20 minutes.

It was just nuts. I stopped the test when she was nearing the hour mark and she confirmed that she was nearly done but I told her there was NO WAY I was sitting for another strobe to be put up my nose and down my throat and then I would need to where it for 24 hours and actually try and eat with it. No Way...

My Upper GI Series Test with the Barium Swallow showed enough to the doctors that I had SEVERE REFLUX and in my case ANY and ALL Foods caused it so I was not too interested in them trying to figure out which category my REFLUX was affecting..No need to take a Poll on my dime..

Here are a few things that I have been doing over the past few years:

Sleep in a Recliner and sit upright during the night-time. It is literally the only way to get any sleep and relieve the pain.

Don't eat past 6 pm OR stay up at least two hours AFTER you ingest something.

Even though you may have relief by chewing gum, this actually makes the GERD worse because the gum chewing causes you to swallow too much AIR which flares up the GERD.

Try Nexium or Dexilant for prescription meds. Omnaprozale did not WORK EVER for me but at least I had some relief with the Nexium until I became immune to it working and then the Dexilant did provide some relief but not enough relief to help the Esophogas heal.

Blessings to you!

WrappedGal27

Paula, do not cancel the appointment, I can't stress this enough.

These tests will help understand what's going on. Without them, it's guesswork.

You will not swallow the pH probe. It's securely fastened.

Thank you Marcello and bowecho. I am so terrified. I just wonder if I will ever be able to eat again. I can't even put yogurt down without it refluxing. I've lost so much weight and am living on soy milk and may I ask you a question?

At night, Im propped up in a raised bed but the minute nightfalls my stomach won't stop growling and sending up acid and what I can only imagine is bile from an empty stomach into my mouth and nose and choking me...I sleep probably 2 hours a night.

Im so hungry I could die but I can't eat. Do you reflux that bad at night too?

I refluxed a ton, I felt like my LES (the valve between your esophagus and stomach) was wide open all the time. Unlike others, mine wasn't very bad at night, but it still wasn't too much better.

My reflux also caused constant chest pain. I had multiple tests (including the pH monitoring), and tried multiple medications that only made my reflux non-acidic, but didn't stop the reflux itself. Surgery ended up being the only solution, and it was very successful.

I lost 60 pounds total over the year and a half my symptoms were really bad. I've gained about 20 back since the surgery.

I'm going to address your period issue - You could be going thru early menopause - I went thru menopause starting in my 30's and by age 46 was totally finished with the curse of periods every month (Yippee) but I did have years of hot flashes and still have insomnia - you can have a blood test to check this out -it's not cheap but it could answer at least one of your worries.
Good luck with the other issues - it sounds like you are having a horrible time and I hope it gets better.