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Posted 10/22/2012 1:57 PM (GMT 0)
It's some years since I last posted on the Alzheimer's section. A couple of years after my wife's passing I was diagnosed with Gastric cancer. There was I thinking I'd overcome another of life's challenges by caring for my wife at home all on my own until she passed away. All the experts then told me I was attempting the impossible and she was given only days to live. As one expert remarked;"You proved them all wrong" when she survived a further four years and eight months. Luckily I was fit in my seventies and had a very unconventional start to life, otherwise it would have been impossible to care as I did. Back to Gastric cancer:
I had a total Gastrectomy (total removal of stomach) just over two years ago. It has been a long and painful recovery and the effects are still with me. During the day and nights I have sudden bouts of heartburn and attempts to vomit but can't, as there's no stomach. All I throw up is clear water which is referred to as dumping. I'm wondering if this is as good as it gets? Now living alone, I'm still using the same lessons I learned as a lone caregiver, to take each hour of each day at a time. So long as I'm running four miles each morning at 81 I retain control of my life.
Posted 10/22/2012 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
YOu are a total inspirational Person. Hats off to you!!! I don't know anything about Gastric Stomach cancer but I do know a lot about the Alzheimer care giver working on a Dementia Unit as a Nurse for the past 23 years. Caring for your wife for years had to be trialing for you at times. I am glad you had the strength to do the loving care in your own home for your wife.

Also 81 yrs old and still running 4 miles every morning. Just AWESOME!!!

yeah You made my whole day reading your post!!

Anne :-)
Posted 10/22/2012 3:36 PM (GMT 0)
I don't have answers to your questions but I just wanted to post and say I'm sorry for your loss and all you've been through.

I think it's amazing and warms my heart when someone can give up their life and be selfless to take care of the person they love. I want to give you a big hug!

Good luck with everything going on - I hope things get easier for you!
Posted 10/22/2012 5:20 PM (GMT 0)
Charley,

What a story. You are 81 years old without a stomache and a wife and you are still running 4 miles. You are truly a strong person. I am sorry for all that you have suffered. My advice is to find the best GI doctor you can and keep searching for answers. You could also consider an alternative medicaine doctor or accupuncture. I would also advise you to get involved in social activities. Going through things alone is really hard. Is there a rec center or something similar near where you live?
Posted 10/22/2012 10:32 PM (GMT 0)
wow, you are great
I'm 30 and the gerd problems have me so depressed and in pain that I can not do anything, its like my life is on hold
you are such an inspiration, just don't give up, you deserve to be better, please go to see a doctor
I wish you the best
Posted 10/22/2012 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, you are my hero. Can I get you to marry my mom?

Not to burst your bubble, but I am running 5 miles every morning. Sure, I am 29. And yes, my cardio ability seems to be getting worse as opposed to improving. But I'd run 500 miles, and I'd run 500 more just to be the man to get you to marry his mom.
Posted 10/23/2012 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
ARM:

Your post made me laugh! Thank you for that.

Posted 10/23/2012 3:01 PM (GMT 0)
I'm overwhelmed at all your responses. If some of you are surprised at the brief look into my life, it's as nothing to what I discovered when I decided to research my background.
When I was diagnosed with cancer for the sake of my family, I considered it was time to confront a past I'd chosen to forget and live in denial. for the sake of my family. The results of my research under the Irish Freedom of Information Act into my background proved amazing and I'm still coming to terms with the awful facts. Whilst I was aware that I'd been locked away from the outside world from an early age, it was a shock to read official documents stating that I appeared in court as a two year old, charged with begging. My sentence was 14 years! Many boys were incarcerated and we were used as free labor. We were subjected to every form of abuse. It is only in recent years that the full facts relating to decades of abuse to thousands of victims has seen the light of day, and apologies offered.

The point is when one grows up among hundreds of other boys never to experience the embrace or love of a parent the end result is an emotionally barren youngster. Should such a person discover love for the first time it's natural for them to put their life on the line for the loved one.
An eighteen year old factory girl became my inspiration and savour. With her love anything was possible. For a kid with no education and no family background I fulfilled all the promises I first made her and we retired in comfort aged 54. The challenge of Alzheimer's arrived.

When it came to caring for her it was a privilege and honor. Most of all I learned so very much about the illness and myself. Currently I'm writing the story of our Alzheimer's journey in the hope of helping others view it from a different perspective. P. S We were married 52 years.
Thursday I visit hospital for the results of a recent scan.
Posted 10/23/2012 3:38 PM (GMT 0)
You are a true marvelous, inspiration for us all! Your background has molded you into the great caring, loving person you carried to display through out your life that gave you the power to care for your Loving wonderful Wife. I am so happy you are writing the book. Again!! Hats off to you!! yeah yeah yeah
Again you have made my day with your post.
Anne :-)
Posted 10/23/2012 4:32 PM (GMT 0)
I have tears in my eyes, this is such an inspirational story
all that suffering made you the person that you are today, you are so strong
I'm sure a lot of people will benefit from your book, this is a very bad disease. My grandma has it, but luckily it's not that bad now, she can still care for herself. You don't have any family to help you during this hard times? I know that you don't want to put the burden of your suffering on them, but sometimes its nice to have someone to help you. I would do anything for my grandparents.
Posted 10/23/2012 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
You are truly an inspiration! I cry about having reflux and stomach issues but look what you have been through. This just shows that I should be thankful for all that I have and look at others stories and quit complaining.

May god bless you! Please reach out on here for comfort when you need it there are a lot of wonderful people on here.
Posted 10/23/2012 11:58 PM (GMT 0)
Charley. God bless you. What an inspiration!
Posted 10/24/2012 2:28 PM (GMT 0)
Dany, I do have family. We had two daughters and a son. Sadly we suddenly lost our youngest daughter at age 15. She was killed by a careless driver. That event introduced me into the real world of emotional pain. I'd witnessed the deaths of other kids while incarcerated and they had little or no effect on me.
When I first met my wife she asked about my family. When I informed her that I'd never known family life, she remarked:"That's sad." To which I replied: "No it's not. I'm lucky because I'll never know what it must feel like to lose a parent as you will some day." Those words came back to haunt me.
There was so very much for me to learn about conventional life. Up to the age of 16 I'd never spoken to a girl and never knew my date of birth. Is it any wonder I kept to myself as I learned about life? I'm still a lone stray and managed to keep my early life secret. In spite of that, or maybe because of it I've had the most exciting life.
The book I'm now writing, I find it painful going as I retrace our final journey. The real pity is that I can't post photos of my wife showing before and after I took on care giving. They speak better than any words.
I've had a good run this morning, but boy I'm having a bad day with this constant burning. With any luck I'll learn something tomorrow when I visit hospital.
May your God go with you and keep you safe.
Posted 10/24/2012 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
Charley,
Best wishes with your visit to the hospital. There are several of us on this forum who will be visiting our Doctors tomorrow. I hope we all fair out well. I am so proud of your courage to move on with life with all the sadness , dark times in your life you have experienced. You are living proof example, behind every dark cloud there is a rainbow. Hope you find the answer at the hospital to stop your burning.
Have a wonderful Day.
Anne (-:
Posted 10/25/2012 10:53 AM (GMT 0)
Charley-

Got to add that you are an amazing man to me also. Hope you find answers at your doctor appointment today. If anyone is can say they made lemonade out of lemons, you sure have.

So sorry for the loss of your family members too.

Take care,
Bill
Posted 10/30/2012 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
Charley Rice,

Hello and I hope you remember me because I followed your heart touching story as you shared with us each step of the way throughout your wife's  life with Alzheimers.  This is Kitt and yes I am still around and still moderating in the A & P Forum, the GERD Forum and a couple of others.

Lyn is not online here much but I do catch up with her from time to time on one of the social networks.  I know she would love reading your thread so I will let her know you have posted.

I bought the book you were writing about your wife and what a great tribute it was to both of you.  I am sorry to read of your cancer as I understand what you are going through - I was dx on 8/16/2012 with Stage IIIC Colon Cancer.  I had my GERD pretty well under control but the chemo is causing me heartburn -  my problems seem very small right now compared to the devestation caused by The Storm - Sandy !

Here is a link to my Caring Bridge for you Charley:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/marytobias

 

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