different PPI? GERD or LPR

Hi Everybody,
it is few days that I am reading the forum to get more information.

I am 33yo and it's many years that I suffer on and off of some stomach issues and 10 years of lump in throat.
I was smoker until few years ago and also anxious (with some health anxiety), so the doctors never took me seriously and put everything off as my obsession.
Two years ago I went to an ENT privately and after the visit he saw "signs of reflux" with edema on laringys.
I've done for a month a cure with esomeprazole and stopped it.
Then I've seen my symptoms coming back on and off and especially correlated to my anxiety.
(I take also antidepressants, citalopram 30mg and amytriptiline 10mg).

I tried always to get a better diet hoping to solve my problems in this way.

A month ago I started to suffer again from anxiety and I had back my lump in throat and stomach issues (indigestion in the morning, burping, bloating).
After a week went to the doctor and she prescribed me pantoprazole 20mg and if it doesn't work 40mg.

I tried 20mg for a week, no improvements. I tried 40mg for few days and felt absolutely worse. Impossible to digest anything.
IN all that I am on strict diet and lost already 5kg in a month :(

I am waiting for an endoscopy (I might have to wait 5 months for it though).

I stopped pantoprazole because it made me feel worse.
I amt trying DLG, just bought aloe, super strict diet, and I put myself on OTC zantac (75mg) in the evening.
Plus some gaviscon when needed.

Doctor gave me also esomeprazole, but I am scared to use it because it can have interaction with the antidepressant :(
I am also scared by the idea to take PPI all my life, being 33.

Why I posted here?
Don't know, to hear your opinion, if there are other people on SSRI and PPI as me and so on.
Thanks!

Hi Buster,
thanks for your reply.
I am sure that anxiety has a big impact.
In the past ten years every single time I had my anxiety relapses (about once a year for one or two weeks) the stomach issues and throat issues were coming back.
As I was younger and targeted as hypocondriac I was just waiting that they were going away.
And I think and hope this time will go the same.. but it's already a month (and I am bit stressed but not anxious).

I go to a counselor and I just started a mindfulness course for stress reduction so will do meditation.

Being anxious person I never know where is the limit to "accept it" and cure yourself.
In a way I don't want medications, on the other side I am scared to just ignore it.
(and also very tired to not be able to eat properly)

what about exercise?
I had started running and stopped the last couple of weeks because was feeling a bit weak from the diet..
I plan to go again today after work... I know it can trigger GERD but I also know it should be beneficial?