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A post by mammamia...kind of a vent.

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Posted 10/22/2007 4:11 PM (GMT 0)


This is a post by one of our newer members mammamia.  I thought I'd move it here, and give it it's own space so others can see, and offer the support Mia needs right now.  Mia, I hope you don't mind me doing this for you.

What a rough few days it has been. Last week I started having very bad pain in the middle of my stomach and right side under ribs. Pain would travel. Let me tell you that brought me right to a high level panic attack. So far my gall bladder looks ok from the test. Dr, also thinks it could be my ulcer is getting worse. So back for test I go. I am to call this morning to set that up. I also have GERD,Hiatal Hernia, and Anxiety and Panic, over coming agoraphbia and have come a long long ways with that. Thought I had my anxiety under control, until this weekend.

I am having so much trouble eating the last week. Even my mild diet is getting to me. I watch what I eat very closely.But the last few days have been the worse. I have had to sleep sitting up in a chair as well. Burning and pain that seems to travel.

The last few days I don`t know what is worse the pain or the panic.

Post Edited (TammyGrl0528) : 10/22/2007 10:22:23 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/22/2007 4:21 PM (GMT 0)
MammaMia---I responded to your response to my post (if that made sense)....I totally understand what you are going through!

I haven't been sleeping sitting up yet, but am waking up in the middle of the night--and can't get back to sleep! I also go to bed around 9:30---so, I don't know if I am sleeping too much---but, the cycle for me is: go to sleep 9:30ish, get up anywhere b/t 2-4, can't sleep for a few hours, finally fall asleep, have to wake up at 6 a.m.---tired as heck!

I eat alot of yogurt and granola---smoothies and then, FORCE myself to eat dinner! I am the one that has to make dinner--and it's really hard making dinner when you can barely eat it!

My body tells me I am hungry (growling and headaches)---but, I just can't eat! When I eat something cold---my esphogus hurts! Same with hot stuff! OY! It's a vicious cycle--but, I do empathize with how you are feeling......

Laurel
Posted 10/22/2007 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
OK, Mia, now I can give some thoughts to your post. I am sorry you are having such a hard couple days. I can understand why your panic is flaring up. That happens to a lot of people who suffer from anxiety or panic related issues. Their problems with that get worse when their body goes through an illness, or anything uncomfortable. I hope you get to find the relief and comfort you want, need, and deserve. Did you call and set up the tests you need? Maybe those will tell you something. In the meantime, are you taking anything for the heartburn? Is anything over the counter able to give you ANY relief so you can get some sleep? I hope you get relief soon, hun. I am sorry you are feeling so lousy!
Posted 10/22/2007 5:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tammy....Hi Hope!

No, I do not mind Tammy. Thank You!!! I am sure many others out there are having a worse go of then I am. I feel like such at baby at times the past week.

I have not had panic and anxiety like this for a long time. I mean full blown ones. Stupid me a few months ago ( 3 or so )I ended up going off my meds and trying the natural thing. Thought it was working ( Thought ) Then it hit me full force last week when I started having so much trouble.

I did call my DR 1st thing this morning when they opened. He is setting up test for me, said I should hear back today or early tomorrow morning. He wants to do another Gall Bladder test and then a scan of my liver and pacreas. He put me on a higher does of my med for GRED and also he is calling in meds for my panic and anxiety. So once more back on the meds. When I got off the phone I went into panic mode once again. Don`t know why he wants scan of liver and pacreas. So, my mind took over and decided to work over time thinking of all the bad things and what ifs.PANIC TIME! The fear part just seems to over flow and creep in like a dark shadow.

To tell you the truth will be glad at this point to get back on the meds.Just seems like a huge set back for me. . But, I have found out now the hard way, some can do the natural thing and others just can`t.

Hope.........., I try and force myself to eat and have not been doing to good of a job on that. I do watch what I eat. At times I dont want to eat and get so sick to stomach and the acid thing plus the pain. I have lost weight which is not a good thing.

Have to sit up in a chair or cant even get sleep at all. I dont seem to fall asleep until midnight of 1AM and then sleep a couple of hours and up a couple more then a couple hours of sleep again. I know being tired is not helping as well. You sound like you have lack of sleep as well. I think that plays all into it as well. Sure does not help any.

I will let you both know when the DR calls back with day and time of my test. I am just hoping for sooner then later.

I would like to Thank the both of you for your reply. It means alot to me to read your words and helps me more then you know.

Thank You

Mia
Posted 10/22/2007 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
Mia, Try to relax. I am sure your doctor wanting the scans is nothing out of the ordinary. I know what you are feeling, as I am the same way you are when it comes to stuff like that. I let my mind think the worst. I hate that about me, and there is nothing I can do to control it. Yea, be sure to keep us updated. We are here for you through this all. Remember, try to relax, and take it easy...all will be fine!!! Wishing you all the best, always!
Posted 10/23/2007 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hi-
You could have a gall stone that's left your gall bladder and is hanging out in your bile duct or pancreas, probably why they want to check that out. I had my gall bladder taken out but it was so full of stones there was no doubt it had to go. When I had a gallbladder attach I was doubled over with severe pain under my right ribs, no nausea or vomiting though.

As for the panic, trust me, I have been there. Gone off meds for the extact same thing only to have the world come crashing down on me, flipping out and going back on them. I was really upset with myself but then I asked why? I figure I take PPI's, mylanta, gavascon, tums and everything else for my stomach, an SSRI isn't going to make or break me. Two steps foward....one step back I guess. I just think, it could be worse.
Posted 10/23/2007 3:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi All.......

Thanks for your post Doghouse. Helps to hear about others and what they have and are going through. Plus many of the same as myself.

Panic is not fun at all. I am still kicking myself for going off my meds. So true with the " Two steps forward and one step back". Just sometimes it seems to take forever to make that one step back come forward.

Don`t know what I was thinking going off my meds and trying other things. Sure learned that was a huge "NO,NO". At least I learned not to do that again.

Tammy,

I got a call late afternoon yesterday for my test. I was in this morning at 6AM on the table. Am so Thankful I did not have to wait weeks or even a couple of months like others do to get my test done. So now just have to wait for the test to all be read. They said my Dr should get my test back tomorrow or the day after. Hoping for tomorrow. One thing about my DR, he does not mess around and seems to always get me in right away.

I had to go yesterday and pick my med up for my panic/anxiety which I am starting back on. Which I am looking at as a good thing. Tell you what, it is hard to be positive when the panic/anxiety hits.

I am doing my best to try to relax. Just trying to keep myself busy as I can and not think about it all.

Just would like to say once again Thank You to all for your kind words and being here to help. It really means so much. I have found that most people that have not or are not going through all this just dont understand.

I dont know how many times I have had people close to me not unstand or want to try and understand. Have been told no big deal, be strong and get a back bone, pick yourself up and go on. I do have to say my family has really hung in there with me through all of this, which is great. I have in the long run through out all this have found out who my friends really are and which ones just could not handle it or plain out would not understand or try to.

Hope you all have a wonderful day.
My Best to you all.

Mia
Posted 10/23/2007 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
Mia, I am so happy that you feel so comfortable here, and that coming here helps you! We are here anytime! I am glad you got a test so soon, and that you don't have to wait as well. I know waiting would have driven you crazy! Which med are you starting back on for your anxiety? (If ya don't mind me asking.) I am looking at what others are taking for panic and anxiety, because I am having issues with my current anxiety medicine, and will be switching around November 1st. I know everyone reacts differently to drugs, but I am interested in seeing the different options that are out there...if that all makes sence...LOL. You are welcome for the support given here. This is truly the best place to go for support and information. I am glad you have found us. I look forward to hearing your test results...and again, relax, all will be fine! Hope you have a great day too!
Posted 10/24/2007 12:57 AM (GMT 0)
Tammy .sorry to hear that your not feeling well.it hurts to know that you or any body.has to go through this.i to have had panis attacks and anxiety.i dont like to tell people about it but i do read about it in this forum.i had the panic attacks now for over two years .gone to therapy helped some it has made me not think strait or spell the way i used too .and when i think of something to tell a freind when they come over i have completly forgot what i was going to say.two weeks ago  i fell asleep for about an hour seems like i was asleep for hours .woke up and thought i was in another world i grabed my water to try and wake me up that didnt work so i went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face my heart was beating so fast i was so dizzy thought i was going to pass out i got my older daughter up and told her that i dont feel well and that i need to go to the hospital.i had a very bad case of panic attack the worst i ever had.so the next time i am going to just sit it out i have been on valium 10 mg i dont take it every day just at bedtime when i feel like i am going to have a rough night.i dont like taking any kind of meds.but some times i have to just like when i have stomach pains right in the midle of my tummy i take a 50mg of traumadol and 20 minutes later its gone.and then again in 8 hours to 12 i have to take another one.well tomorrow i have two ct scans starting at 930 am for my stomach and spine and another one at 1100 am for my chest and head.and take that nasty old meds to drink.i will keep you posted .and i pray for you to recover and to get back to a normal life i wish that for everyone in this forum.take care every one.it can only get better as time goes on.your friend Rick

Posted 10/24/2007 1:57 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Rick. I am glad you opened up some. It means a lot that you are starting to feel more comfortable with us! Thank you for that. I am glad to hear you have some scans scheduled for tomorrow. I hope you get some answers from the scans. I wish you all the best, and I will be thinking of you tomorrow! I am sorry you had such a panic attack recently. They are the worst, and can be totally scary!!! I know this from experience! I am glad you had your daughter there to help you out! I know how you are feeling about not liking to take meds. I seriously hate medicine. I truly do, but I reached a point where I feel it is my ONLY option. I look forward to hearing about your scans...and will be checking throughout the day to see if you post. I wish you all the best, and will certainly be thinking of you tomorrow! Thank you for your kind words.
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