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GERD & Acid Reflux
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Posted 9/3/2012 10:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Everyone,
I had been feeling more motivated and hopeful the last month or so but the past few days, I just have felt very frustrated and angry. This GERD controls my life. I am just so sick of it all. If I felt great all the time I would probably be less irritated. But I'm still dealing with symptoms, granted I have improved since joining the forum. My 30th birthday is soon and I honestly don't really care. I have something planned but I'm not excited about it like I should be. That is sad to me. I feel like my life revolves around food and eating. The thought of never being able to have a slice of pizza ever again is depressing. To have to bring my own food to family/friend functions. To sit and watch everyone around me enjoying a beer or glass of wine while I sit there. Watching people down coffee or sample chocolates just makes me feel jealous and angry. Having to sleep on a bed wedge and plan meals is domething most people never have to do. hate it
all.
Posted 9/4/2012 1:05 AM (GMT 0)
You haven't had surgery yet have you?
Posted 9/4/2012 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
Hey, I have been reading this for months but had not registered until I read your post a few minutes ago. I'm sure Denise will respond soon with awesome encouragement. But from somebody who could fill this page up....I'm just saying "hang in there" I believe in healing and you are going to be fine. This group of folks feel like my best friends. I have read constantly for the last week. They have stories to tell.
Posted 9/4/2012 3:07 AM (GMT 0)
No surgery yet. Dr. is going to do the bravo and mamotry soon. Recent endoscopy was mild non erosive reflux esophagitis. I'm on a gluten free and paleo type diet. Went from a size 6 or 8 to a size 0 or 2 due to diet restrictions. I'm just tired. I did lose some of my horrible symptoms but I still deal with floating chest and back pains, mild heartburn that feels like vapor and sometimes stomach irritation. It all comes and goes. One day I feel decent the next I'm in pain without doing anything different. It's frustrating and very time consuming. I'm going to a wedding in November and it won't be enjoyable because of the food and of course the timing of eating which will be past my 7pm rule. And who knows if I can handle a drink. I used to live for this stuff. Now I can't wait to leave as soon as I get there. I go up and down emotionally, sometimes I cope better than other times.
Posted 9/4/2012 1:29 PM (GMT 0)
I understand.........I have had 3 surgeries since February (2 Nissen). I dropped over 40lbs and didn't have it to lose. Last surgery was 8/17 and been holding since 8/20 at 114lbs and out of nowhere, dropped to 112 two days ago.
Eating is a full time job and takes a lot of planning. I am still eating only 1 item at a sitting 6-8 times a day and keeping a journal of what works and what I need to try another day. Soo, all of that said, you are not alone. There are great people on here with lots of advice and encouragement.

There is a powder called Severe Mass that you mix with water. It is loaded with vitamins and has 1200 calories in 24 oz. I work on drinking it all day because at the moment dairy and sugars cause diarrhea. It is hard to gain without them. Also add protein powder to everything.
I see the surgeon this afternoon. I believe I can beat this and you can as well. Hang in there.
Posted 9/4/2012 1:37 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the encouragement. I admire your spirit. I do have L glutamine that I am going to start using. I am on a host of other vitamins as well. I am at about 105 pounds but I am also only 5 foot tall. I was down to 100 pounds which as too skinny for me. With my job, I can only really eat 4 times a day. By the time I get home from work I am rushing to make dinner and I work as a therapist so I have to schedule around that. It is truly exhausting. As I said some days I am more hopeful than other days. I am trying to avoid the surgical route at least until after I have children (not looking forward to pregnancy which will probably make things even worse).
Posted 9/4/2012 1:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hi ericapeace2000,

i understand it is hard for a sociable outgoing type of person to change her lifestyle so drastically to in order to cope with an illness. I used to go wedding dinners often before I had GERD. But now I flatly refused any invitation except one or two important ones.

The key is I choose not to eat certain food, not that I can't eat them. Well in reality I can't eat them, because they will cause a flare-up. But I try not to think in that way. I prefer to think I was given a choice to eat or not to eat, and I chose not to. So I wasn't deprived of the freedom to eat the food, but it was my choice.

It is also happier for me to not have symptoms after the dinner than being able to show I am part of my social circle. I just think I should give up living my life to other people's expectations. And that I should accept that I have this illness, and follow the diet I ought to follow. Strangely, I began to derive happiness from living the simple life I am living now. If you think it is miserable, it is just a matter of perception.

The past stress of mine have come from the need to impress others, the desire to live my life like a (what my ideal happy person should be), my ego. I gave them up, and I found happiness.

I think GERD is not serious illness. If you compare it with ulcerative colitis, crohn's, GERD is nothing.
Posted 9/4/2012 3:23 PM (GMT 0)
I am also working,supervising many therapist.

Figure out the things that you CAN eat (I found that applesauce, cream of wheat and grits always work) and take them with you. You have to be creative....with proper handwashing and sanitation foam, I can grab an extra applesauce or Land o Lakes cheese in the bathroom throughout the day.
GNC has the severe mass that I mentioned earlier. Put it in a water bottle and take it with you.

I am 5'6" and 112lbs so hanging on to the weight is critical.
Gerd can be terrible...it is what led to the surgeries that I have had to repair damage. You are smart to get on top of it now.

You can survive pregnancy.........I have two.

Rushing home to cook is stressful. Keep creamed potatoes (no gravy) in the fridge to eat while you are cooking.
You just have to decide that you can do this. There will be good days and bad days but they are what you make of them.
Posted 9/4/2012 3:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hi WJF, reading your post made me angry to say Gerd is nothing,you obviously have a mild version of the condition.Gerd can be totally debilatating for some people both physically and mentally. Barry
Posted 9/4/2012 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
My GERD is debilitating. It has improved but it still is. My diet is very rigid already and I still have some symptoms. That is the frustrating part. If I had symptom relief, I would probably be less stressed about it. I spend so much time cooking and prepaing food for work it is crazy. But this is just the way it has to be I guess. It just gets me down sometimes. My whole life revolves around it.
Posted 9/4/2012 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi ericapeace,i feel the same as yourself,gerd has ruined my life,ive tried all diets,medications and have recently had nissen surgery and i am still suffering.It not only affects me but my family aswell which is very hard to deal with.Are you considering surgery ericapeace? Barry
Posted 9/4/2012 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
erica,

We've posted enough back and forth so you know my struggles and feelings about this curse.

Anyways, I have a little extra stength today so I'm sending it to you. When you receive it, pull yourself up off your knees, hold your head up high and spit right in the face of gerd! Then let gerd know, I just took your best shot and it'll take alot more than that to keep me down!

If I'm going down...I will go down swinging. Here's to strength.

Oh, I've been trying something new and will try to post about it later tonight.

Posted 9/4/2012 11:53 PM (GMT 0)

Baza said...
Hi WJF, reading your post made me angry to say Gerd is nothing,you obviously have a mild version of the condition.Gerd can be totally debilatating for some people both physically and mentally. Barry

I'm sorry about that. GERD is of course debilitating to all of us. My statement was made with the context: If you compare it with ulcerative colitis, crohn's Many are suffering more than me. Am I not fortunate what I deal with is just GERD?

Post Edited (WJF) : 9/4/2012 5:59:15 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/5/2012 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your kind words. I feel a little better. It just gets to me sometimes.

Barry: I have thought about surgery but I want to have kids before doing that. I'm in the process of getting the tests done in case that becomes an option.

Doggbones: thanks for your strength today. I'm curious about what you ate trying.

I am fortunate that I only have one health condition to deal with. It is a big one. I do know that I have a lot of positive in my life but I just get tired and frustrated. I think I am still mourning the loss of my old life. I see the stages of grief I have went through. I think I am back in the anger stage.
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