Hi LittleMy,First, I want to apologize for not seeing your post and responding! Forgive me! Welcome to the 
Wrapped Club! It sounds as if things are progressing normally for you. I know how hard it is to see food when you can't really eat it yet! It seemed like Red Lobster commercials were on continually!
Try using the crock pot (slow cooker). I don't know if you're a meat eater, but if so, if you stick some carrots, a little onion, potatoes, and a piece of beef with some liquid, you'll have a tasty treat that is very easily chewed into a soft mush. I made it, thinking I'd just get to enjoy the meat flavor on the veggies, but the meat was very soft and easy to chew. If you put a little onion soup mix on top with the liquid, it flavors it up nicely.
Yes, you're in the midst of peak swelling, so you'll get some uncomfortable swallowing. I remember not even wanting to swallow my saliva at one point. Ouch. It doesn't last forever, though, and before you know it you'll be feeling much better.
A lot of people get hiccups during the very early recovery, and it does hurt. It will subside over time, though. Hang in there.
The loud stomach noises and diarrhea are dumping, caused by the surgery. It is a problem that gradually goes away as you heal. I had it intermittently, thoughout the first year. Generally I only had one bout of diarrhea each time it happened...usually in the morning.
For me, once most of the healing had occured, it happened when I ate something that irritated my wrap. I could always hear my stomach complaining loud and clear. When I was at meetings, people offered me snacks, thinking my stomach was rumbling with hunger! At a year post-op I figured it was a little quirk that would be with me forever. It wasn't a big deal, because it was so infrequent. However, sometime into the second year, I realized it wasn't happening anymore.
The shoulder pain will subside with healing and walking. I found the more I walked, the less it hurt. It's really painful and annoying, I know. I found during recovery it felt better to sleep a little elevated.
Listen to your body with the eating. Obviously during the peak swelling time you'll want to stick to things like soup. Before long, though, you'll gradually become more adventuresome. My surgeon told me I could eat anything that could be chewed to a liquid, so I became my own blender, and enjoyed the chewing very much. I ate small bites an chewed, chewed, chewed. If it couldn't be chewed to a liquid I deposited it in a handy paper napkin. There are many, many things that can be chewed to a liquid/creamy cosistency. Stay away from untoasted bread...toasted it's just fine. No steak, no sandwiches.
As far as work goes, my plan was going back to work half days at the two week mark. I was a second grade teacher, though, and my principal and TA said no. I had a class full of sick kids. I ended up going back full time at 6 weeks.
I remember before I had my surgery I talked to a woman who was a dental hygenist and she went back after a week. After I had my surgery I couldn't figure out how she did that!
Do you have more time off? If you do, I recommend you take them and give yourself time to heal and rest. You've had major surgery. You can't see it on the outside, but your insides have been through a lot.
Hang in there! It gets better!
Happy healing,
Denise