Hi SJ,
Hang in there! At 10 days you're in the thick of your recovery, and things inside are continuing to swell. This is all normal. My surgeon told me that my swallowing would get worse before it got better, and to expect peak swelling somewhere around the two week mark. It sounds as if you're following the typical path. A very few people make it through this stage without a lot of swelling, but swelling is very normal.
Be sure to listen to your body. Take pain medications as needed. I don't know if you've moved to soft foods, but if so, you might want to move back to liquids for a few days. Just see what feels better. I remember that at your stage of recovery swallowing anything could be a challenge at times. Warm liquids can help.
I know it is hard at this point. Over my years participating on this forum, I've seen many like you--people who wish they'd never had the surgery during early recovery. Given time to heal, they change their tune completely, and are thrilled with the results. This is the toughest part of your recovery. It will take patience and courage, but you'll make it.
If you can surrender to your recovery and follow its lead, you'll find your recovery much more manageable. You can't worry or stress this recovery away. It takes time. Every body reacts to the surgery a little differently, and no matter how much you wish it, you can't hurry the process. Trust your body to know what to do. Listen to it.
Relax and go with the flow. You have no choice...no matter how stressed out you are, you're not going to change the healing path. No matter how frustrated and anxious you are to hurry the recovery along, you can't force healing. Your body will take its own sweet time. If you can change your attitude toward what is happening, you will feel so much better as you move through this challenging recovery. Attitude is indeed a choice, and you can choose a positive one, even in the midst of a challenging situation.
It's normal to feel emotional after surgery. Just let those feelings flow through, but don't hold on. Have your cry, then screw up your courage and make a decision to go with the flow. You can do this!!
Hang in there,
Denise